can anybody check if everything is correct in my letter?
I have to submit this letter to the swiss embassy next week.
Thanks a lot
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply for a long-term student visa for Switzerland in order to complete my Master Programme in Mechanical Engineering at ETH Zurich
My aim is to become a competent computational engineer who works in an international field related to computer simulations and virtual engineering. Therefore I want to gain a deeper understanding in both Mechanical Engineering and Computer Science.
Currently I am studying in the discipline of Automotive Engineering at Politecnico di Torino in Turin, Italy. And I will graduate in July 2011 with a Bachelor of Science degree.
A myriad of related factors make me want to study computational engineering for my Master degree at ETH Zurich.
Through my undergraduate years, I have been particularly interested in aerodynamics. As I deepened my study in conventional theories of aerodynamic field, I found that classic theories were unable to explain complex aerodynamic phenomena. I also learned there were advanced computing systems that support the interpretation of aerodynamics. Delving into this subject is what first awakened my desire to pursue computational engineering.
However, sophisticated knowledge in this new-born field is lacking at my current university. Among European colleges there are only a small percentage of professional institutes like ETH Zurich which provides computational engineering studies. As the world's leading Mechanical Engineering department, its tutor-driven program attracts me because of its focus on interdisciplinary education, specifically the area of computational engineering and related research.
Following completion of my studies at ETH Zurich, I intend to return to China and start my career at automotive industry in Shanghai. Using computer simulations and virtual engineering will be the mainstream solution in almost every engineering sector, especially in a complex sector like automotive industry. And China has made a rapid progress in its computing power during the last decade. I believe with what I would have learned at ETH Zurich, I will be able to better serve the country and the kind.
Thank you for reviewing my application.
an international field related to computer simulations and virtual engineering. Therefore I want to gain a deeper understanding in both Mechanical Engineering and Computer Science.
I agree with Linmark.. the letter is very impressive. To make it even better, try to SHARPEN the message of the essay. This part I quoted above gives the reader their first real impression of you. You seem very serious and formal. I suggest adding some unique element to this intro... do you have any eccentric, unusual aspirations? Can you add a sentence and list a few aspirations? The sentence that says you "seek deeper understanding of mech. engineering and comp sci" is not effective. It just gives a piece of information. Make it persuasive. Make it a sentence that gives the reader something to think about, something to be inspired about.