Hello, I would be very happy with your feedback, and I appreciate it so much.
Just for background information, I had no instructions nor questions I needed to answer, other than writing a motivation letter for applying to Master's degree scholarships in Canada, with no specific university, since I'm submitting my application to the embassy, and they are in charge of sending it to different universities.
Dear Administrative Committee,
I believe that scientific research is a mysterious yet exciting journey waiting for curious researchers to embark on it and unravel the answers to those mysteries, and it is my biggest dream to be one of those people. My passion and fascination with Neurosciences, and my ambition to understand the brain's chemistry and how it underlies our lives either in physiological states as in memory and emotion mechanisms, or in pathological states from neurodegenerative diseases to mental illness disorders, combined with my love for teaching others, resulted in the birth of my greatest goals: Becoming a Research-Professor of Neurosciences, who aspires to play a role in developing the understanding of the neuroscientific community on such important topics that involves the lives of millions of people around the globe. My name is Xxxx Xxxx, and I am applying to the MSc program in biology. Amid these sentences, I will explain why I am suitable for this program. Hopefully, convincing you of my suitability as a grant candidate.
I did my Bachelor's Degree with Honors at the University Of Science and Technology Houari Boumediene, specializing in Biology and Animal Physiology. I am very grateful for this degree since it gave me the proper foundations in all the different disciplines of biology, from the intensive Histology observations of different tissues to understanding molecular biology, immunology, physiology, endocrinology, which were all necessary for the proper understanding of the future courses that I treated in my Master's degree in Neurobiology. Studying a Neurobiology Master's degree allowed me to tackle a wild range of topics concerning the nervous system, which in addition to what I will be learning in this program, would lay the foundation for my Ph.D. and future employment. The foundation that I acquired was thanks to courses like Neurochemistry, where I learned the functioning of each Neurotransmitter and how they interact with their specific receptors, orchestrating every activity of our organism from emotions, memory, learning, motion ... etc. My final presentation work for this course was "Cerebral serotonin synthesis capacity in obsessive-compulsive disorder: the effects of behavioral cognitive therapy and sertraline", which especially ignited a fire in my heart to learn more about the biology behind pathological mechanisms of brain disorders and participate in finding answers that will help the lives of people affected by them. On another page, we underwent technical formations like Neuro-imaging, where I learned the specific characteristics of brain imaging techniques and how to choose the right technique for the specific type of study we would be performing.
This brings me to the reason why I am very happy and excited to especially apply for this program. It is thanks to the special efforts and contributions the Canadian research community offers to the neurosciences field, which is very clear thanks to big names like Dr. David H. Hubel, who was a co-winner of the Nobel Prize in Physiology of Medicine for his work on mapping the visual cortex and studying the processing of visual information in the brain, leading to advances in the treatment of congenital cataracts and strabismus; and thanks to Dr. Philip Seeman's transformative discovery of the D2 dopamine receptor, which changed the way antipsychotic drugs are designed and shed light on the mechanisms by which schizophrenia develops. Studying in an ecosystem that values scientific discoveries, and offer researches that advances our understandings of the nervous system's mechanisms and functioning, and being able to participate in such a great mission is by far my biggest goal and dream, which I would be very honored if it became true, and I believe that thanks to the training I did throughout my bachelor's and master's degrees makes me very ready to embark on this journey.
I appreciate your time and consideration.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,648 4752
The main motivation that you should be presenting here is "Why do you want to become a research - professor of Neurosciences?" The second paragraph should not be a summary of your previous educational background, although a summary would be acceptable. The motivation letter should focus on your target with regards to your career. What motivated you to keep studying masters courses? Have you ever applied these theoretical knowledge in the real world? Do you have a profession or career at the moment that has benefited from these previous studies? How and why will you continue to benefit from the addition of this course to your roster of theoretical knowledge? What is the end goal application that serves as the overall motivating factor? Think beyond just a work title, think of how the work title will or has applied itself to your development as a professional. Right now, this motivation letter works only in the sense of the first paragraph. The second paragraph is not that important in the motivational letter and the third paragraph sounds more like lip service to the reader rather than actual motivational points.
Hello, thank you so much for your insightful remarks, I will work hard on editing the second paragraph and include a clear motivation as to why I want to become a research professor.
thank you so much! You are literally a lifesaver, wish you all the best, and have a nice day.