[i]Hi everyone, can you help me see if there is anything I need to change in my motivation letter? The word limit is 500 words, but I'm not sure now which ones I should delete? This is very important to me, thank you very much[/i]
Dear members of the assessment committee,
I have always been a student of art because of the pleasure that art itself gives me. I have loved art since I picked up a pen. I have learned many useful skills and artistic techniques due to my wide range of interests. I learned and honed my artistic abilities through formal education. When I was in the best art high school in China, my sculptures and body paintings and daily sketches were collected by the school. My fashion photography was well-received on social media. During my undergraduate sculpture program, I achieved near-perfect scores in zinc plate prints and screen prints and marbling and metal casting.
A keen eye for detail has led to a series of works based on the seemingly mundane theme of food. I also rely on reading books to deepen my work. I believe that reading is important for art creators, so I read different types of books every day to broaden my thinking and cognition. The accumulation of knowledge and my life in Europe have made me curious about the broader field of art and the world, which has made me even more determined to continue on this path.
What attracts me most to the Art Department is the importance placed on the artist's self-growth and development, as well as his or her ability to make a favourable impact on society, which is completely in line with my values. I believe that only those who have a deep knowledge and understanding of themselves and their ideas are better able to produce meaningful work in collaboration with others and society. I am particularly attracted to the inclusive and dynamic learning environment of the Fine Arts Department and the diverse backgrounds of its instructors. My undergraduate projects with classmates have impressed upon me the importance of communication in creative endeavours, so I value the opportunity to exchange ideas and perspectives with artists and professionals. I am interested in the part of the Fine Arts Department's workshop that involves cooking, which dovetails with my interest in food art. I look forward to participating in the excursion with my classmates and experiencing the power of art in a natural setting, as I believe that we are complementary to nature and that we can be its medium and convey its energy in the form of art. What also attracted me to the school was the professional and complete facilities, and I believe that only through a lot of experimentation can I find the right medium for my work.
The most important thing about art is to spread it to the public, and what we have to do is use art to make our power to solve problems for society and the world. In the next years of my studies, I would like to experiment more with video forms and other visual presentations and find some way to be part of my personal language and hopefully collaborate with people who share the same passion for creativity. Attending and organizing exhibitions, continuing my artistic career and supporting life and creativity through my skills.
I would like to conclude by reiterating my desire and passion for the art department, and I hope to be able to contribute my values and talents to the school. I believe that my artistic abilities can create beneficial communication and collaboration with fellow students and other organizations to grow together. I believe that by working together we can push the boundaries of creativity and create truly impactful work.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4783 I believe that you can safely delete the first 2 paragraphs without affecting the overall motivational letter. That is because the presentation does not actually focus on a motivational concept until the 3rd paragraph. It is important that you highlight the name of the university and the course that you want to take in particular. That is because your motivation should align not only with your personal goals and insights, but also your academic and social growth. Your letter is mostly conceptual in nature. Though acceptable, it does not provide a clear motivational goal for your academic and professional considerations. What are your other motivations aside from social and community considerations? Reduce those discussions and insert artistic and career motivations whenever you can.
@Holt
Thanks for the advice, very helpful!
I believe that it's very nice but for some improvements i would totally agree with holt
@Holt
Dear members of the assessment committee,
I am writing to express my keen interest in joining the SANDBERGINSTITUUT Department of Fine art. I want to create works that have the nature of a mirror, not only to see myself but also to see humanity. This is also reflected in the theme of my work, we need to see that it is not just about facing social issues, it is also about facing ourselves and seeing where we are. We are always looking for the answer to the question "Who am I", which is the most essential existence in creation. I want to ask questions and look at the society through art.
I firmly chose the Art Department becauseI agree that the department emphasizes the importance of self-growth and development of the artist, as well as the importance of having a positive impact on society. Only those who have a deep knowledge and understanding of themselves and their ideas can produce meaningful work.I was also attracted to the professionalism and well-equipped facilities of the school, I am very good at craft activities and experimenting with various materials, only through a lot of experimentation can I find the right medium for my work.The inclusive and energetic learning environment of the Art Department and the diverse backgrounds of the tutors are what attracted me the most. The successful exhibition of the project I worked on with my classmates made me realize the importance of communication for creativity, so I value the opportunity to exchange ideas and opinions with artists and professionals. I am also a good match for the Fine Art Department's workshops, and the cooking Workshop is a good fit with my research and interest in food art. I am very much looking forward to participating in the excursion with my classmates to experience nature, to get energy from it and to convey its energy in the form of art. I believe I am the most suitable candidate for the art department.
In my next project, I would like to try to present an artistic exploration of alternative modes of collaboration between humans and machines, where all humans, machines and AI are involved as makers, as well as the mediums of nature. I hope to work with the Fine art department on this experiment. And in the process gain a deeper understanding and exploration of self and personal language. I hope to make more links with the art industry through the art department to reach out to try more related work as a way to support both my spiritual and material worlds.
Finally, I would like to reiterate my desire and passion for the Art Department, and I hope to be able to contribute my values and talents to the school. I believe that my artistic abilities can grow together by creating beneficial exchanges and collaborations with fellow students and other organizations, and by working together to push the boundaries of creativity to create truly impactful work.
Is this version OK, please?
