As a student of Bachelor of Engineering in Metallurgy Engineering, I want to obtain master in this particular field and I realised that when interest adds with field of study, it not only improvises concentration, but chances of utilising knowledge and ability to apply that to resolve challenges also increases. So, I want to pursue my further education the field of metallurgy and material science.
I always wanted to pursue a master degree from abroad. I had some criteria as everyone have, while selecting a destination for abroad- better knowledge resources, better standard of living, safe and homely environment with splendid culture and traditions. I asked my educated elders of family and my professors about choosing a destination to apply for masters. Most of them suggested three countries- United States, Canada and Germany. I also searched by myself on internet. When I searched on google- Study in, and always the search engine shows "study in Germany" firstly despite of naming other countries. I read from various sources that, Universities of United States have good education and placements, but they require more amount of tuition fees though Germany has negligible tuition fees with tremendous education. My parents cannot afford great amount of money which is required to get admissions in United States and Canada. They always boosted me to select best.
At the time of my second year of bachelors, I was sure about getting masters from Germany. Then I started searching on internet for "Masters on metallurgy in Germany", honestly I searched this term for more than 100 times and results always showed a list in which RWTH Aachen is at top. I read about RWTH Aachen on its official website as well as on Wikipedia. Somehow I managed to talk through social media with some students of university. Every one of them supported and gave a positive review for RWTH Aachen. The university is very reputed and having excellent location as well as famous for metallurgy and computer science courses.
I saw requirement for MSc. in Metallurgy Engineering and I was definitely sure to apply for the same. I started learning Deutsch from last few months and I have completed A1. I am now
I will be graduated in June, 2016. So, I can join the institution from October (Winter Semester 16/17).
I have completed a research project from Tata Steel, Jamshedpur, India during the period of vocational training. During training session, I came to conclusion that no matter how your external appearance looks, the main things matters are- performance, result and practical approach. The training helped me to work beyond my limits and increase the threshold point.
Prince, your letter of motivation is very weak and not interesting at all. Majority of the information that you provided does not even pertain to your chosen major but rather, your personal interests and desires for studying abroad. The reviewer is not interested in your personal ambitions. He is only interested in the academic and professional aspect of your motivation. That part is not clear at all in your letter. You definitely need to go back and write a totally new letter.
In your new letter, do not mention your consultations with your elders, your choosing between three countries to study in, using Wikipedia to research the information about schools (most definitely not that!), and that you simply saw the student requirement for enrolling in this masters course and then deciding right there and then that you will enroll in this course. Those are not part of an effective motivation letter.
An effective motivation letter allows the reviewer to learn why pursuing the masters degree course is important to you. How it will benefit you as a student or professional, what you hope to contribute to the profession either in terms of research or training others, and how the university can partner with your to achieve these goals. Those are the criteria by which your motivation will be properly judged by the reviewer. Right now, I do not see any development in this letter along those lines. So this letter, in its current form is really useless to your application. Don't use it. Try to develop a better and more focused letter of intent. Don't lose focus. Remember the guide that I mentioned in this paragraph. Use it as the method by which you develop your letter. After you develop the new letter, post it here and we will help you fix it up so you can use the letter effectively.
Prince, after reading your essay, I must agree that it's written quiet weak, it has the points that answers the prompt but other than that, it doesn't have the manifestation of a student or a person, ready to face a Master's Degree.
A Master's degree is given to individuals who have shown eagerness to continue their studies and expand their horizon on the specific field, I just don't see this in your essay, I suggest you re-write it, not necessarily to completely do a new essay but to figure out which sentences should go in the essay and which ones will not.
Create that intense nature in you in continuing this study to a Master's Degree and let this manifest in you essay.
Also, you are the one who needs the schools guidance to lead you in attaining your degree so you have to show them what you can do, what you can give to the institution and to the community as a whole. You should be able to attest your dedication to the study, more so, to the society you will be spending time with for a few years. This are just a few information you need to add in your essay in order to make a stronger essay.
Nevertheless, you are in the right path and all of you have to do is refine your essay, I wish to see the revised essay posted here on EF so we can help you further.
It is not big saying that I was meant to be born to become a metallurgist. My grandfather had a small casting business in town, where he used to mentor the metal manufacturing process, the childhood visiting intrigues my interest towards metals. I was especially keen interested in casting and fabrication of metals where raw materials are not only changed into productive useful material but a little bit of artistry with practical approach can give rise to a valuable resource. Later years, I use to travel with him to various foundry shops which imparts different furnaces in it/them. Day by day I learn the basic concepts of the field of metals. The reason for choosing metallurgy as a main course in degree engineering is due to my passion for metals and materials since childhood.
As a student of Bachelor of Engineering in Metallurgy Engineering, I was able to learn about basic subjects and majorly extractive metallurgy, physical metallurgy, and metal manufacturing and joining processes. I believe that if I can pursue/get masters in this particular field, the chances of utilising my knowledge and ability to apply to resolve challenges can definitely make a difference.
I want to obtain master in this particular field and I realised that when interest adds with field of study, it not only improvises concentration, but chances of utilising knowledge and ability to apply that to resolve challenges also increases. So, I want to pursue my further education the field of metallurgy and material science.
Graduating from my own country, I came to knowledge that very few universities are offering masters in metallurgy engineering, also they have inadequate resources for the research and development in india.
I selected Germany for the post-graduation course location, As/because I always wanted to pursue my higher education in metallurgy where its originated and currently standing on the top of academia. For me, studying in Germany is like staying in nucleus of a transforming metal during its recrystallization process. If I am getting an opportunity for Mastering in Metallurgy Engineering from a country which is the provenance of the science and engineering, I can't take the risk to lose that.
In other perspective/perception, as a curious history student, I can say that Unified Germany is always the centre of attraction and reformations from ages. Not after unification or from Weimar republic or from German confederation period, it was the non-removable part since pre-historic times. The museums, music and art ancestry are the emblems of country. Due to the Variant/vibrant culture and traditions makes Germany centre of Europe as well as world since centuries.
Germany, leading in engineering, particularly for material science and mechanical engineering has excellent knowledge resources, enhanced/ultimate/supreme/peak standard of living, safe and cozy environment with splendid culture and traditions. Although, I didn't have adequate knowledge about all the universities in Germany. I came to knowledge about RWTH University by my professors and head of department. One of my acquaintance are the alumni of the university. He recommended RWTH university for further studies. Somehow I managed to talk through social media with some students of university. Every one of them supported and gave a positive review for RWTH Aachen. The university is very reputed and having excellent location as well as famous for metallurgy and computer science courses. I can assure to myself that RWTH University can able to increase/enhance my theoretical as well practical knowledge for the subjects and can lead me to further great opportunities.
I have completed a research project from Tata Steel, Jamshedpur, India during the period of vocational training. During training session, I was also able to complete my project in the field of Thermo-mechanical treatment. I have published my research paper for the same. The training helped me to work beyond my limits and increase the threshold point. I am able to perform well under the pressure and in tough days, with or without teams. I have completed my another project form the leading scientific institute of India- Institute of plasma research. After getting masters from one of the most reputed universities of world/RWTH University, I want to pursue doctorate and want to work in research laboratories where I am can resolve the challenges of world, soothing the tough in to better one. It will be an honour being the part of most reputed research based universities of world. Besides, I will have the opportunity to develop myself in an international environment giving me the privilege to meet new people with different points of view. That would be very enriching experience for me.
For the preparatory level to live in Germany, knowledge of the local language is the most important part to understand the culture and to get familiar with the surrounding environment, so I started learning Deutsch since last few months and I have completed A1. I scored 8 in test of level A1. I am now preparing for TestDaf test for level A2.
My education background and my deep concern about this field, proves me a worthy/excellent candidate for program. I will be graduated in June, 2016 from my university. So, I can enrol in the institution from October (Winter Semester 16/17) and I am so optimistic and hopeful to receive positive reply/admission letter from RWTH University. I have no doubts putting RWTH University as a Alma matter in my career/of my life.
Prince, I can see that you tried harder on this revised essay. You considered the points that we have for your essay
and you came up with a pretty written essay.
Question is, does this essay, satisfy and justify what is asked of the prompt?, the answer is yes and no.
Yes, because part of the prompt shows your dedication and perseverance towards the course of your choice and
the field that you want to pursue in college and as a career later on in life.
No, because, it's not a motivation letter, it's a simple narrative of your aspirations, dreams and what your plans are in the next few years.
Motivation letter as it is called is a letter that will showcase the influence behind your pursuit of a certain thing, passion or craft and in your
case a course that you want to pursue in college.
Now, simply answer this question, What motivates you to apply to AACHEN and take the course of Bachelor of Engineering in Metallurgy?
That's the only question that you have to deal with in this letter of motivation, when you have an answer to this, start to write the details in a very elaborated manner and when you have a draft, quickly post it here on EF so we can assist you further.
I have revised it again. @justivy03 please skim it again.
Dear Sirs/Madams,
In June 2016, I am graduating in metallurgy engineering. I am fully prepared and aware of the path I have chosen. My aim is to become a productive person in the field of metallurgical engineering and materials technology. I have education and experience in this field, but it is not enough to achieve my aim. I was relieved and glad when I saw this opportunity of pursuing masters and with this letter I would like to express my strong motivation for this course. I am determined and deeply enthusiastic to join the Master of Science course in Metallurgical Engineering at RWTH Aachen University in October, 2016.
It may seem but there is no exaggeration if I state that metallurgy is in my blood. My grandfather had a small casting business in our town, where he was mentor to the metal manufacturing process. His mentoring intrigued my interest towards metals. What interested me was creation of the valuable resource through the conversion of raw materials into productive useful material with an artistic touch to it. I even used to travel with him to various foundry shops having different processes. Luckily, my chemistry teacher had masters in material science. Hence, day by day I learned the basic concepts of the field on and off the field and decided to make my career in the field of metals.
In addition of having Secondary school certificate with physics, chemistry and maths as main subjects and my passion for metals and keen interest in research field of modern manufacturing processes is the reason for perusing the degree course in metallurgy engineering. In Engineering, I have been able to learn about basic subjects (Electrical, Civil and Mechanical) in the first year and then Extractive Metallurgy, Physical Metallurgy, Metal Manufacturing & Joining Processes, Iron-Steel Making and various other subjects related to Advance Materials in later years. I believe that the opportunities of doing masters will equip me with better and greater knowledge and enable me to resolve challenges with higher efficiency to make this planet a better place to live in.
At university, metallurgy courses captivated my interest the most, not only because the exciting facts, but also because behind each fact lurked the interesting procedures of extracting and refining the metals. I found the topics related to physical metallurgy especially engaging. Here, the complexity of the mechanisms involved presented particularly compelling long procedures and yet some of them are still mysteries. Working in a merchant mill of Tata Steel on thermo-mechanically treated bars related research project thrilled me too as I had always read about the technique but had never had the opportunity to be the part of it myself. Initially I stumbled, because of lack of exact data and right direction. But with persistence I finally mastered the procedure and in the end achieved the best results which led me to publish my research work at international level. Training inferred that the challenges seek solutions and there is a lot which is yet to be discovered and it fascinates me to go further. Knowledge which I have gained during my bachelors is not enough to meet the expectations of this world. As a result, I am working on another project from IPR. And these experiences make me able to blend and work in team easily.
I selected Germany, because I always wanted to pursue my higher education in metallurgy where it originated and currently standing on the top of academia. For me, studying in Germany is like staying in nucleus of a transforming metal during its recrystallization process. If I am getting an opportunity for Mastering in the field of my interest from a country which is the provenance of the science and engineering, I can't take the risk of losing this golden opportunity. Germany in engineering specifically for material science and mechanical engineering has developed a lot with enhanced standard of living, safe and cosy environment with splendid culture and traditions. My professor strongly recommended RWTH Aachen University for further studies. One of my acquaintance is alumni of the university.
The university is reputed as well as famous for metallurgy and computer science courses. This is the 'only' university in Germany which is providing 'Master of Science in Metallurgy', so it's perfect as well as dream match for a metallurgy graduate student like me. I can assure myself that RWTH Aachen University will play a great role in incrementing my theoretical as well practical knowledge for the subjects and can lead me to further great opportunities to excel in innovative technology application and develop universal solutions to real world challenges. After masters, I want to pursue doctorate and want to work in research field of Physical Metallurgy and Materials. As campus has 17% of international students, it will provide me an opportunity to study in multi-cultural environment. That would be an enriching and enlightening experience for me being the part of one of the most reputed research based universities of world.
In other perspective, as a curious history student, I can say that Unified Germany is always the centre of attraction and reformations from ages. Not after unification or from Weimar republic or from German confederation period, it was the non-removable part since pre-historic times. The engineering, museums, music and art ancestry are the emblems of country. Vibrant culture and traditions makes Germany centre of Europe as well as world since aeons. For the preparatory level to live in any country, knowledge of the local language is the most important part to understand the culture and to get familiar with the surrounding environment, so I started to learn Deutsch since last few months and taking exam 'Start Deutsch 1' on 1st April.
I am not the best in world, but with the useful preparatory education & productive training, having fundamental qualities with perseverant nature and strong motivation, I can definitely attest myself and will be great asset for the university. I can certainly prove the worthiness that I am upholding. After Graduating in June, 2016 I am absolutely ready to join in winter semester in October of same year, and have no doubt in seeing myself as the part of RWTH Aachen University. I hope to hear from you in the near future.
Prince, I believe the revised version is better than the original one.
I'm grateful that our insights here on EF are helping you.
Now, as much as I would like to give you a go signal in submitting your essay, I believe
you can still enhance it, I would like to share my remarks with the focus on the last two
paragraphs of your essay.
- The university is reputed as well as famousinstitution is reputable and known for metallurgy
- ThisIt ( this - is use when an object or the subject is near or pointed at a close range )
- After completing my masters,
- ThatIt would be an
- being theto be a part of one of the
- most reputedreputable research
- based universities ofin the world.
- In other perspective, as a curious history student, [....] exam 'Start Deutsch 1' on 1st April.( I'm not sure how this part of the essay will be helpful for you so I suggest removing them from the essay.
- I am not the best in world, but( never think less of yourself ) Armed with the useful
- I can certainly prove the worthiness that I am upholding. Afterwill prove my worth and after Graduating
- in June, 2016 I am absolutely ready to join in winter semester in October of same year, and have no doubt in seeing myself as the part of RWTH Aachen University. I hope to hear from you in the near future.will follow through with my education and RWTH Aachen University will be a great addition to my preparation for a great career in the future.
There you have it Prince, I hope I was able to help.
I kept that "in other perspective..." paragraph in order to answer this questions that have been asked to be answered in letter.
1. What perceptions do you have when thinking of studying in GERMANY?
2. In which way you have prepare yourself for a stay at RWTH?
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