Hello
I am thinking to apply to MSc Entrepreneurship program in Lund University, Sweden.
I would be more than happy for any help and input on this personal essay, corrections and feedback. I am willing to help as well.
These are the objectives:
The Statement of Purpose should be clear, well-structured and concise (2-3 pages).
When applying to the Master Programme in Entrepreneurship, your Statement of Purpose should include:
- Your reasoning behind wanting to attend the programme
- An indication on whether you want to develop your own idea or an idea based on research from Lund University, during the master year.
- An account of to what extent you have the right personal qualifications for following the programme and is willing to devote energy and commitment to entrepreneurial activities
- Your prior experience of entrepreneurial activities (in a broad sense)
- Expression of ideas for your future professional career
- Your prior work experience, as well as your previous experience from working in teams/groups (outside studies), for example active involvement in non-profit organizations, et c.
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To whom it may concern:
A head for business, a heart for the world; the foundation of entrepreneurship are two things, commercial awareness and social responsibility. Combined with my childhood dream and pursuit of entrepreneurial spirit, I would like to apply for the MSc Entrepreneurship program at Lund University, Sweden.
Once upon, a question brought up to me "what do you want to be when you are grown up", "I want to be a successful businessman" is the answer all the time inside me. Having finished my high school education, I followed the BSc Horticulture program in Yunnan Agricultural University, China. At that time, I figured studying Horticulture makes it possible to step closer to my dream, with the vegetable and flower industry booming over last decade in China while more than 700 million farmers are being existed. However, Horticulture dose not cover much about business and management but more tends to be scientific research. In 2008, I got the opportunity to carry on my undergraduate study abroad at Van Hall Larenstein University, the Netherlands, switching the program to International Agribusiness and Trade that incorporates agri-business management theoretical approach into operational practice. It is one of the most practical programs that allows me could think and act as a marketer and businessman.
Regarding to my academic performance in the university, I am one of the most active students compared to other fellows in the class. I attended all the classes and got through all assignments with above-average level. Taking of coursework, my really enthusiasm is the course called Management Game in which management simulative environment is developed for students to operate the company in competition with other companies. Our team has achieved most of the goals with a great performance by the end of the game. Being the general manager, I have worked on setting up company goals, generating the strategies, studying markets and competitors, predicting markets and making strategic decisions. Additionally, I am pretty good at inspiring other managers; making everyone motivated and devoted in work with great passion.
I am an energetic person with extensive interests, especially engaging in student association activities. In 2007, I launched a Movie Community as a co-founder in our university. I have been through plenty of difficulties that we were not provided with initial funds and without any external supports. Apparently, being capable of working with colleagues comes important. To address all these difficulties, we worked very hard with everyone united positively, finding sponsors, recruiting new members and organizing events. We finally get everything running and well-organized. As of now the Movie Community is found to be one of the top-rated places over the entirely campus. I appreciate having been given such an opportunity to work as a leader and coordinator in the community, which brings me a bunch of precious experiences and memories.
Early on in 2009, I participated in one of the international non-profit organizations called SIFE where I could go much deeper into entrepreneurship. SIFE is a great place that gives a lot of opportunities to integrate what I am learning in the class into community. Powered by SIFE Wageningen team, I am working on a project named Entrepreneurship of Laid-off/ Unemployed Women in China, which is basically set up to support groups of unemployed women starting their own business by means of e-commerce platform. I was mainly involved in the works of assessing the competences of unemployed women, and developing a proper training program. Aside working with project, it is amazing that I grasped opportunities to take part in professional workshops, National Competition in Amsterdam and witness the fantastic SIFE World Cup 2009 in Berlin. What all I have experienced in SIFE has inspired and shaped me a person that is responsible, hard working, value-driven blend with a competitive spirit, desire to succeed with a sense of integrity, and desire to give something back. I figure out a tip about me coming very important later, that the more you give to people, the more they give back to you. In another word, I would like be a responsible entrepreneur rather than being a successful businessman in the future.
By now, I have an idea come up with my mind about establishing a Chinese student public service activity website, integrated with information form various voluntary agencies, NGOs and university organizations. Students will therefore have access to all voluntary activities, contact information of organizations and other students. The fast development of NGOs and poor channels in China give rise to my idea, since China suffered strong snowstorm and Wenchuan 5.12 earthquakes in 2008. The Chinese people did benefit from the power of NGOs. Generally speaking, Chinese students are positively interested and motivated in the participation for public service activities. The site is eyeing to facilitate and promote the development of national public service activities in a dynamic way. Hopefully, this website could make it more likely that students can have a better access to public service activities. However, it is only an idea by now, considering the complicated dependency development of NGOs in China; further research is required in the near future. It is difficult to convince myself that holding on my own idea is more acceptable, neither taking the idea from Lund University side. What I would like to point out is my choice will go along with the feasibility and interest to the idea.
Supposing that a long run is being taken into account, I hope to help small and medium-sized enterprises by starting my own entrepreneurial management consulting business in China. The company will serve both local and international customers by providing consistently updated and adapted solution, ranging from organizational design to venture capital. In order to accomplish this goal, it is a MUST to deepen my knowledge from the entrepreneur point of view. The Entrepreneurship program in Lund University will definitely be the perfect bridge from where I am to where I want to be. I am attracted by the inventiveness and uniqueness of its course structure as well as the strong research strength in finding potential business opportunities. I value that, as a fact, the Lund entrepreneurial education does not stop at the class but as well characterized by an action-oriented method that allows students to initiate and carry out a genuine entrepreneurial project running through master year. Along with the high quality education and well balanced course schedule would catalyze and optimize the most working efficiency. I firmly believe that studying at Lund University will definitely moves forward a big step closer to my dream.
Above all, being equipped with right attitude, skills and qualities, I am now fully committed to pursuing the Entrepreneurship program in Lund University. As a new starting point of my study life, I am very much look forward to the challenges and rewards of university life in Sweden, and am confident it will enable me to lead to a rewarding career.
Hey!
Seems like you have a genuine passion and it comes through in your writing. However, there seems to be a great deal of grammatical errors that can hopefully be minimized once being checked in a Microsoft Word Program.
I enjoyed the first saying that you used:
A head for business, a heart for the world; the foundation of entrepreneurship are is set by two things, commercial awareness and social responsibility. Combined with my childhood dream and pursuit of entrepreneurial spirit, I would like to apply for the MSc Entrepreneurship program at Lund University, Sweden.
The red portion is worded in a confusing manner. Are you trying to say that you would like to fulfill this childhood dream with the entrepreneurial spirit you currently possess? It is important that you do not confuse the reader in the first paragraph.
Once upon, a question brought up to me "what do you want to be when you are grown up", "I want to be a successful businessman" is the answer all the time inside me.
Maybe you can say : I was once posed the question "---" and to this very day my response remains "..."
Regarding to my academic performance in the university, I am one of the most active students compared to other fellows in the class. I attended all the classes and got through all assignments with above-average level.
In order to express your dedication to your academics, you may want to word differently how you were the most active (not just by attendance- but how this led to better understanding, more interaction with faculty etc. )
Hope I was able to help a bit.
You should have your essay checked through a computer grammar program just to strengthen a few of your sentences.
