'patient to conduct research' - Motivation letter for master´s course

Hi everyone, This is my motivation letter for one master course, I am not native English speaker, please, give me any suggestions. Thanks a lot.

Dear Sir/Madam:

I am writing to apply for "Master in________" taught by Faculty of Engineering , University of _______and enclosed is my C.V for your consideration.

I graduated in 2011, from University of _______and hold a master degree in international economic and management. Currently, I am responsibility for Mandarin language class at ________. My education at the department of economy, one of the strongest faculties in University of________, has been exceedingly rewarding.

The motivation behind my decision to apply for Master degree lies in my determination to gain more knowledge of different scientific discipline, this study experience that will bring me a stronger sense of achievement in this modern world. Three years' college studies, I not only had been intensively learned an understanding related with international management, but also improve my communication and analytical skills to compete in the growing Chinese market. Meanwhile, my thesis "A bibliometric account of Chinese economics research through the lens of the China Economic Review" was published in the journal of China Economic Review. However, I realized that the knowledge of my study and research need still learning in depth through my practical working experiences. Thus, it stimulate me learn and explore more knowledge to enrich the life of my career.

Your university has a good academic reputation worldwide and provides the opportunities to further develop my research skills. The Master in Innovation and Technological Entrepreneurship was started in 2005 and the prospective program, I believe, will make invaluable experience in my continued efforts to scale new heights of innovation management in new business. It is also good experiences to understanding, learning different management, marketing in depth between China and Portugal.

I am very optimistic, humorous and willing to learn new things. I have the patient to conduct research and can learn things very fast. I hope that, on consideration of my CV, you will be persuaded of my potential to be a suitable candidate for this master program.

Hello! I am going to copy/paste your letter in this text box so that it will be easier for me to edit. I hope you don't mind!

Dear Sir/Madam:

I am writing to apply for "Master in________" taught by Faculty of Engineering , University of _______.and enclosed is my C.V. for your consideration (Start a new sentence with the word "enclosed".)

I graduated in 2011,(This comma is unnecessary) from University of _______and hold a master degree in international economic and management. Currently, I am responsibility for(you are "responsible for"? And, talk about what this responsibility entails. Like, what do you do? Mandarin language class at ________. My education at the department of economy, one of the strongest faculties in University of________, has been exceedingly rewarding.

The motivation behind my decision to apply for Master degree lies in my determination to gain more knowledge of (a) different scientific discipline,((End this sentence with a period. State a new one starting with how this new study experience would help you.) this study experience that will bring me a stronger sense of achievement in this modern world. Three years' college studies,(Awkward/doesn't make sense?) I not only had been intensively learned an understanding related with international management (The "I" and "M" in the word should be capitalized.) , but also improve my communication and analytical skills to compete in the growing Chinese market. Meanwhile, my thesis "A bibliometric account of Chinese economics research through the lens of the China Economic Review" (Capitalize the important words in the title of your thesis.) was published in the journal of China Economic Review I also suggest stating WHEN your thesis was published, so that the reader could access the thesis if she/he wanted to do so. It builds your credentials.) . However, I realized that the knowledge of my study and research need still learning in depth(Perhaps "is limited by"?) through my practical working experiences. Thus, it stimulate me(Awkward.) learn and explore more knowledge to enrich the life of my career.

Your university has a good academic reputation(The university already notes this! And, it makes you seem pretentious when you state this, as if you only want to get into the school for the school name... Take it out.) worldwide and provides the opportunities to further develop my research skills. The Master in Innovation and Technological Entrepreneurship was started in 2005 and the prospective program, I believe, will make invaluable experience in my continued efforts to scale new heights of innovation management in new business. It is also good experiences to understanding, learning different management, marketing in depth between China and Portugal.

I am very optimistic, humorous and willing to learn new things(Here, you need to be a LOT more serious. Talk about your readiness to learn, or your determination to do well, or your ability to do certain things... I don't know. But don't just talk about your personality, but also your learning-style.) . I have the patient("patience") to conduct research and can learn things very fast(Awkward and wrong grammar. Possibly: "pick up new procedures efficiently and correctly".) . I hope that, on consideration of my CV, you will be persuaded of my potential to be a suitable candidate for this master program.

I hope my edits helped!

Hi, thanks for your suggestion, I will update my task based on your advices.