A presentation in your large company

Hi Friends,
I am preparing to appear for IELTS General Training again. Last time I got 6 Score. I need at least 7 this time in order to get the desired points.

Please help me improve my formal English. I will post essays too. Please provide a feedback.

You are planning to give a presentation in your large company. Write a letter to your colleague asking for help.

In the letter, you should:
when and where the presentation will be
what the presentation is about
what you would like your colleague to do.

inquiry about a presentation

Dear Team Members,
As you all already know that our team is selected to present a paper on the next Townhall event which is scheduled at end of the month. The venue of the event is Hall 1 of our Corporate office.

The topic which we have been assigned is related to our daily analysis to fathom the conundrum of cyber security in real world. The presentation is directed to be in four sections namely, Problem Statement, Proposed Solution, Practical Implementation Workflow and Question-Answers. The organizing team is absolutely strict with this format and we have to adhere with this.

I would request you to prepare a white paper on your researchs and conslidate them in presentation slides. As we are left with a fortnight to prepare for this, we will have to make it quick. Hope our contributions will bring accolades to our team.

Thanks
Ritesh

Shonty, the instruction is asking you to write a letter to a colleague, singular form meaning one office-mate. Colleagues with an S at the end indicates the plural form. You should not be addressing this letter to teammates, which indicates a plural form. It should only be addressed to a teammate, singular form. Your opening salutation will immediately result in points deductions. You keep on addressing a team in this letter, when the presentation clearly indicates a singular form throughout as highlighted by the following letter background:

You are planning to give a presentation in your large company.

You is a singular form. There is no team making the presentation, only one person. That mistake could automatically cause you to earn a failing score for this part of the test since you obviously have a problem discerning singular - plural forms for everyday, common English words. Add to that your carelessness in spelling words such as "research" and "consolidate" and you have a failing score waiting to happen. The overall letter presentation is wrong because it does not follow the proper presentation requirements as indicated in the prompt.

@Holt & @myngoc311
Thank you for your time. I feel sorry for the silly mistakes I have made. I have re-written this letter. Can you please assess this one?

Dear Ben,
This is to inform you with great pleasure that I am selected to present a paper on our company's next Townhall Meet which is scheduled at end of the month. The venue of the event is Hall 1 of the corporate office building near Sony Centre.

The topic which I have been assigned is "The Threats of Cyber Security in The Real World". The presentation is structured into four sections, namely,... strict with the specified format and I have to adhere by it.

Although I know that you are preoccupied with your slate of work, I would still request you to ... on your previous research on web security and consolidate them ... As I am left with a fortnight to prepare, you will have to send me your part by the end of this week.

Thanking you in advance.

Thanks
Ritesh

@sharmaShonty
My only comment on your last edit is this
Thanks Best regards,

and I don't have much knowledge in General IELTS
Hope it helps
Good Luck