My profess. goal is to be a foremost lecturer and researcher in the field of Electrical Engineering

Erasmus Mundus Programme - Motivation Letter to Engineering Master's Degree

I want to check my motivation letter to apply to master's degree abroad, Could you help me please?

I wish to express my interest in applying for a Master's Degree in Erasmus Mundus programme, scheduled to begin in September 2013. I appreciate this opportunity and I would like to provide further information about my personality and motivation.

I am currently pursuing my bachelor's degree in xxxxxEngineering, from xxxxx University with an anticipated graduation date of July 2013.
My professional goal is to be a foremost lecturer and researcher in the field of Electrical Engineering. So, I would like to continue my studies in order to gain knowledge and experiences by academic research and I am sure that this Master's degree would offer me the possibility of receiving the complete picture of all aspects of this field.

I am an active student at the university and am actively involved in student activities and organisations with various visionary goals. However, I always can manage my time to execute different tasks in parallel without getting distracted, as in the last year I was involved with membership in three student organisations, nevertheless I achieved distinction grade (89%) and I was ranked 12th out of 307 students last year.

The fact that I will study in an international environment will give me the privilege to create new relationships with people from different cultures, I am intending to obtain this by volunteering in social and charity activities, teaching children English and Arabic languages and contributing the skills I have developed through my courses, industrial trainings and extra-curricular activities to help my colleagues as much as possible.

I am excited about this opportunity and hope to get admitted to Erasmus Mundus Programme. Thank you for your consideration.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,

Bahaa

I don't know if it would help but this sounds better to me.
My professionalintended goal is to be a foremost lecturer and researcher in the field of Electrical Engineering.

Otherwise, you did a great job on your essay. :)..Good luck

Many thanks to your reply Mr. Davinhtran but my main problem is that I can't make this letter distinct, I feel it normal because I am still an undergraduate and have small achievements mentioned in my CV (like memberships in student activities and organisations) , so I did not repeat writing them again in motivation letter and I don't know how to add value to my letter? could you help me please?

I wish to express my interest in applying for a Master's Degree --> I am delighted to express my interest in applying for a Master's Degree

This sentence is too long and you better break it up. When your sentences are too long, the reader finds it difficult to memorize details you keep on telling. So your flow would be disturbed by lengthy sentences;

However I am capable of managing time to handle several different tasks parall without getting distracted. For example, I was involved with membership in three student organizations last year. However, at the same time I was able to secure a distinction grade (89%) and the rank of 12th out of 307 students.

You can support your arguments, claims and reasons with examples. That would have more effect in convincing the reader. :)