Hello everyone I'm new to this place and I thought I could get a little bit of help with the content and the grammar in my Motivation Letter for application to the Erasmus Mundus Scholarship. If anyone is able to spare time and correct me about the content or any kind of mistake I would be so grateful. Thank you for your time.
Here goes the letter,
Dear Sir/Ma'am,
I am writing this letter for the purpose of applying to the Erasmus Mundus program for the MSc Business Administration - International Business, to your esteemed university.
I am a final year student pursuing my undergraduate degree in Mechanical Engineering in Amrita University, India. I would be graduating in the month of May 2013. I expect that this student mobility program would benefit me immensely and augment as well as reshape the rest of my career and character.
One of the most interesting things which life has taught me right from the very beginning is how beautifully Innovation, Technology and Business go hand in hand. Right from Marketing one of the biggest events in the annual technical festival to brainstorming in my elective Product Design and Development, I have been in close contact with all these three elements.
I have always been summoned to step up whenever and wherever effective communication has been needed. That is how people have always identified me and that became my job once, to market the "Green-i" conference which was one of the biggest conferences to be organised by the student body as a part of the university's annual technical festival. It gave voices to many companies to portray their methods, services and products towards "Going Green" and paving way for a greener tomorrow. My job was to interact with different companies and get them to come present themselves to a prospective student community and help them gain some awarness about the issue. Roping in sponsors was also part of the job and quite frankly, the toughest. They had to realise that we were a trustable university and funding this conference would mean that their mission to spread awarness was more spearheaded. Our title sponsor was CII( Confederation of Indian Industries).
Next came my rendezvous with business. Due to the role models which I have set in my life I have always gravitated towards the world of Business and Entreprenuership.
In fact, me along with my friends went one step further and made it as a part of our undergraduate thesis. We are working along with the State Transport Coporation to help optimize the operation costs in a few routes which incur huge amounts of losses. This work primarily involves studying their business process', their supply chain and their core services and products. We went through a lot of literature and the process of identification of an algorithm is underway. This project taught me two things at large. Firstly, the literature tells me that right from the technology to the business process', the availability and sophistication in Europe is huge and extensive. This made me realise that I want to pursue my masters in an international environment so as to take back something I have gleaned from my experience abroad, back to my homeland, hence the choice of International Management. The courses present, like International Marketing, Entreprenuership and International Supply chain Management are directly aligned with my interests and would directly put me in my path towards my long term goal, a social entreprenuerial venture that would benefit my country. The international scenario would also help me gain contacts which would be largely beneficial.
Apart from all the academic work there are many extra curricular activities that I'm involved in. Theatre thrills me the most as a form of art. I love to act and watch plays as they tend to bring out the creative side of me extensively.
It would doubtlessly be a wonderful opportunity if my application is considered and selected for this program and for that purpose I think I would be able to prove my mettle in a better manner in an interview of some kind, probably a Skype interview if it is possible for the people involved in the selection process to spend time.
Thank you for your consideration. I'll be looking forward to your reply.
Is there any mistake anyone can think of?
Here goes the letter,
Dear Sir/Ma'am,
I am writing this letter for the purpose of applying to the Erasmus Mundus program for the MSc Business Administration - International Business, to your esteemed university.
I am a final year student pursuing my undergraduate degree in Mechanical Engineering in Amrita University, India. I would be graduating in the month of May 2013. I expect that this student mobility program would benefit me immensely and augment as well as reshape the rest of my career and character.
One of the most interesting things which life has taught me right from the very beginning is how beautifully Innovation, Technology and Business go hand in hand. Right from Marketing one of the biggest events in the annual technical festival to brainstorming in my elective Product Design and Development, I have been in close contact with all these three elements.
I have always been summoned to step up whenever and wherever effective communication has been needed. That is how people have always identified me and that became my job once, to market the "Green-i" conference which was one of the biggest conferences to be organised by the student body as a part of the university's annual technical festival. It gave voices to many companies to portray their methods, services and products towards "Going Green" and paving way for a greener tomorrow. My job was to interact with different companies and get them to come present themselves to a prospective student community and help them gain some awarness about the issue. Roping in sponsors was also part of the job and quite frankly, the toughest. They had to realise that we were a trustable university and funding this conference would mean that their mission to spread awarness was more spearheaded. Our title sponsor was CII( Confederation of Indian Industries).
Next came my rendezvous with business. Due to the role models which I have set in my life I have always gravitated towards the world of Business and Entreprenuership.
In fact, me along with my friends went one step further and made it as a part of our undergraduate thesis. We are working along with the State Transport Coporation to help optimize the operation costs in a few routes which incur huge amounts of losses. This work primarily involves studying their business process', their supply chain and their core services and products. We went through a lot of literature and the process of identification of an algorithm is underway. This project taught me two things at large. Firstly, the literature tells me that right from the technology to the business process', the availability and sophistication in Europe is huge and extensive. This made me realise that I want to pursue my masters in an international environment so as to take back something I have gleaned from my experience abroad, back to my homeland, hence the choice of International Management. The courses present, like International Marketing, Entreprenuership and International Supply chain Management are directly aligned with my interests and would directly put me in my path towards my long term goal, a social entreprenuerial venture that would benefit my country. The international scenario would also help me gain contacts which would be largely beneficial.
Apart from all the academic work there are many extra curricular activities that I'm involved in. Theatre thrills me the most as a form of art. I love to act and watch plays as they tend to bring out the creative side of me extensively.
It would doubtlessly be a wonderful opportunity if my application is considered and selected for this program and for that purpose I think I would be able to prove my mettle in a better manner in an interview of some kind, probably a Skype interview if it is possible for the people involved in the selection process to spend time.
Thank you for your consideration. I'll be looking forward to your reply.
Is there any mistake anyone can think of?