I'm applying to a research apprenticeship position for a study that uses advanced imaging techniques to examine musculoskeletal structure and function. The study also investigates the structure and composition of bone in the human knee.
This is what I have so far. It is the intro paragraph addressing the question: Why are you interested?
I am very interested in being a part of this project. The subject of the study is highly appealing to me for several reasons. I'm curious about the intricacies of bone structure and composition especially in relation to calcium homeostasis. My fascination with bone comes from, in part, an introduction to human nutrition course, where I learned about the importance of the flow of calcium ions into and out of bone and the vital hormones that maintain blood calcium. Having a general understanding of the processes of bone formation and resorption and the functions of bone cells, I would like to explore through images the complexities of bone in the human knee. Environmental factors that influence musculoskeletal disorders, such as nutrition, are of interest to me as well. As a premed student, I am drawn to the opportunity of working with orthopedic surgeons. I also find this study to be personally relevant being someone with a high risk of developing metabolic bone disease later on in life.
Is my opening sentence too weak? I wasn't sure how else to begin the paragraph. Any other suggestions are welcomed!
This is what I have so far. It is the intro paragraph addressing the question: Why are you interested?
I am very interested in being a part of this project. The subject of the study is highly appealing to me for several reasons. I'm curious about the intricacies of bone structure and composition especially in relation to calcium homeostasis. My fascination with bone comes from, in part, an introduction to human nutrition course, where I learned about the importance of the flow of calcium ions into and out of bone and the vital hormones that maintain blood calcium. Having a general understanding of the processes of bone formation and resorption and the functions of bone cells, I would like to explore through images the complexities of bone in the human knee. Environmental factors that influence musculoskeletal disorders, such as nutrition, are of interest to me as well. As a premed student, I am drawn to the opportunity of working with orthopedic surgeons. I also find this study to be personally relevant being someone with a high risk of developing metabolic bone disease later on in life.
Is my opening sentence too weak? I wasn't sure how else to begin the paragraph. Any other suggestions are welcomed!