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letter about thanking a friend for sending photos of holiday



extreme 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2011   #1
Dear alireza,
Hoping you are in the pink,I am writing to you concerning the photos of that enjoyable
holiday we have had recently.
First of all,I am extremely grateful for the favor you have done me sending the photos of
holiday which evoke memories of that calming and rewarding day to me.
However,having not been in touch for a long term,I have to say that getting involved with
Business affairs prevented me to write you earlier.
As a matter of fact, I have been having hectic days full of activities ,lots of meetings with
Businessmen ,spending time to estimate the shares' value , predicting stockmarket's future outcome
and so on all lead me not to be able to meet your expectations to write you sooner.
All in all, hoping you entitle me for the belated letter, I propose you to come to my my homeland
and stay with me assuring you that you are going to have a pleasure time here.
I will give you my word that you will experience a relaxing time here visiting one of our scenic
landscapes in our ancestral village.
Yours faithfully,
Mohammad

inaustin 1 / 10  
Sep 18, 2011   #2
First of all,I am extremely grateful for the favor you have done me sending the photos of
holiday which evoke memories of that calming and rewarding day to me.

[i]1.have done me? have done to me? have done for me ? anyway, either one sounds weird
how about a concise style like : grateful for your favor that sent me the photos of ....


2. evoke or evokes

3.calming day? u mean quiet ,peaceful with comfort or tranquil? calm often refers to the mood.
BTW, i guess it should be days rather day.
[/i]

However,having not been in touch for a long term,I have to say that getting involved with
Business affairs prevented me to write you earlier.

1. prevent from

As a matter of fact, I have been having hectic days full of activities ,lots of meetings with
Businessmen ,spending time to estimate the shares' value , predicting stockmarket's future outcome
and so on all lead me not to be able to meet your expectations to write you sooner.

1. readers can tell u r so busy...but "have been having hectic" is busy with grammar error and redundancy. (bear with my rude. pls...)

2. i guess there should be a sentense break here. and it is better to re-organize this sentence.

All in all, hoping you entitle me for the belated letter, I propose you to come to my my homeland
and stay with me assuring you that you are going to have a pleasure time here.
I will give you my word that you will experience a relaxing time here visiting one of our scenic
landscapes in our ancestral village.
Yours faithfully,
Mohammad

Atten: there r still other mistake which i hope other members will help u to amend.


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