Hi guys , I want to share this poem with you
I have to make rythm but it hasn't worked out with me and I need to correct this poetry grammatically , also i want meaningful words instead of words i used
O' home of dearones , where have they gone
They didn't leave any tincture and I became alone
The bitterness of nights fulled up my heart
Their smell still remained in my mind till they brighten the home again
O' my sweetie pie who is dowdling on her way to the fount
My hear is burning ,save it and salute
She greated her lover with generosity and bountifulness
And he asked God to choose his destiny with her
Hi Sawsana, I'd like to help, please find the suggestions below;
O' home of dearonesthy love ones , where have theyyou gone
They didn't leave any tinctureYou left me with nothing and I became al one
The bitterness of nights fulledfooledup my heart
TheirThy smell still remained in my mind till theyand brighten the home again
O' my sweetie pie who is dawdling on her way to the fount
My h ear is burning ,save it andwith salute
She greatedgreeted her lover with generosity and bountifulnesswit
that left my heart with grit
And he asked God to choose his destiny with heris she can take a leap
There you have it Sawsana, indeed, the poem needs a lot of work and I hope the corrections above help a little and be useful at the same time. As you are struggling with words, in a poem, try not to think of the words as must added word to make your sentence complete, treat it as an experiment and then search for its meaning, if it does represent the idea you are trying to convey, then walah, you have the word that does not only rhyme but also bears the thought that you want to convey to your readers.
In this case, as you are writing a poem, it is quiet unusual for me to proof read it, to be honest, I think I only had a handful of poems that I was able to proof read and they actually turn out pretty good, it's not my strongest point obviously and I'm glad I was able to help.
I hope to review more of your writing articles, poems will be a bit challenging, but as they say, bring it on and we will try our very best to be of service to you. When it comes to writing essays, mind the rules of the language and if you can, try to follow them in the most logical order.
Dear @justivy03
Iam so happy and I feel so blessed to get help from people like you and other
It means so much to me , thank you so much
And sure i will do my best to follow all rules of writing, I think my problem is about the structure and grammar, I will work on this side so hard
Hi Sawsana, it's an absolute pleasure to be helping you out in your articles, I do think that you have what it takes to come up with a better essay, you just have to make sure that you come with a good idea first, then let your thoughts flow and the create a draft.
As many drafts as you can, the better you will be, it will also help if you record your progress in writing by keeping your drafts in a record sheet or in a folder.
Moreover, I would like to stress that, poems are definitely harder to write and you were able t come up with a good one, therefore, writing other articles such as essays will be a smooth one for you.
Overall, the best thing to do is just practice, practice, practice. This is the only way you can be better at this craft, also, don't be afraid to try different techniques, different writing strokes, it will help you see what else you can do and what else you can improve.
Keep writing.
