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5 senses poem - tropical beach

robodiniho 1 / -  
Nov 24, 2008   #1
can u tell me if my poem is any gd.

I can see across the tropical sea,
the wonderful landscapes stand out behind the sea,
in the landscapes I can see the steep jagged mountains.

I can smell the fresh air,
in the air there was a hint of fruit from the trees.
as I turned my head I could smell fish and chips.

I could taste the delightfulness of the fruit,
as I swam in the sea I could taste the salty water.

As I stood on the beach I could hear seagulls screeching,
as I swam the dolphins were singing.
In the background there was the roaring of the near by waterfall.

I could touch tropical plants.
The water was warm.

and that was my trip to the beach.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 24, 2008   #2
Good evening :)

I think this is a great five senses poem; you include them all, and it is descriptive. The great thing about poetry is that it is very interpretive, so there really aren't any boundaries!

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lasershot91 8 / 7  
Dec 7, 2008   #3
Great poem!! just one chance in stanza 3, second line, "as I swam in the sea I could taste salt of the water." This makes for a clearer poem when read aloud.
lostnnverfound 1 / 3  
Dec 7, 2008   #4
nice poem...you can also repeat some stanza..but overall i like this poem
tanty 3 / 4  
Dec 9, 2008   #5
It may make sense to anyone. But I didn't find this one remarkable. You may need some rhymes

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