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What if? - What do you think about my cinquain poem and my description?



alswn95 11 / 28  
May 1, 2010   #1
What if?

What if,
An equation
Can prove what lies ahead.
Would we live in peace, or suffer?
What if?
*Please remember that this is a cinquain poem so my lines are limited.

The thought about my future frightens me because I do not know how I will transform in the future. My cinquain poem, "What If?" talks about how one would live their life knowing about the future. It might be a wake up call, but it can also lead us to our deepest nightmare because future, like almost everything in the world can change.

I use a questioning tone in my poem because I do not know if knowing the future before it occurs will be a good or bad. It is manifested in the first line and the last line where I use repetition, "What if?" Through this repetition, I can provoke the readers to think deeply about it and find the solution by themselves.

The theme of "What If?" is: somethings are best left unknown. We, humans, decipher some of our questions about the mysterious universe and its components through scientific answers. If we could see what lies ahead of us proven through scientific reasoning, most people, including myself, would seek for the answer. It could be a wake up call, but it can also lead as to our deepest nightmare, like it did in Shakespeare's Macbeth. Macbeth ruined his life because the witches told him about the future and because he relied on it, he ended up making decisions that made his future to come true, but killed him.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 3, 2010   #2
Alright, A++++ but don't just end with that random example. You are talking about an enormous subject, so a single example sort of reduces it. Just add a sentence or two at the end so that it does not end abruptly with that example. Are you allowed to write a longer essay? This essay deserves to have 5 paragraphs (3 body paragraphs, one paragraph = one idea)

:-) it deserves to be longer!!
OP alswn95 11 / 28  
May 3, 2010   #3
Hmm... Can you please tell me any good ideas to talk about??
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 4, 2010   #4
Well, you get to decide what case example will illustrate it best. Give a paragraph about a person who had this future-predicting equation, and tell what happens to him. You can tell advantages and disadvantages. What would be the negative consequence?


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