Times Square: A description of my haiku?

Times Square

Mesmerizing lights,
brighter than stars. Everywhere.
Times Square overwhelms.
That is my poem.

I traveled to various parts in the United States of America, to name a few, Aspen, Boston, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis. They are all exceedingly charming places; nevertheless, no place could be compared to New York City.

Few days before my sixth grade winter vacation, my family spent several days in New York City because my sister had auditions in Julliard. I visited New York City both in winter and summer, and overall, New York City was undeniably at its best in the winter. The Christmas ornamentations in the streets along with the dazzling lights enlivened the city. My first visit to New York City was breathtaking.

I decided to write a haiku poem about New York City because it was the most memorable city I visited. It is set in Times Square, because it is unquestionably the highlight of New York City with all the scintillating billboards and lights that are mentioned in my haiku.

The theme of my poem is straightforward- Times Square is a sensational place. This can be proven through the simile in line one and two, "Mesmerizing lights, brighter than stars." Stars represent life and freedom, hence, by comparing the lights in Times Square to the starry stars, I showed how Times Square is an amazing place. In addition, I applied personification in my last line, "Times Square overwhelms," to unveil how it exhilarate people.

Maybe reconsider the word "overwhelms" as it can be interpreted negatively as overwhelming. Can you come up with other words that convey "exhilarating?" I also liked the use of "unveil" as that something beyond the lights and stars. If these form the "veil," what would you see beyond the veil?

I don't get what you mean?

A few days before my sixth grade winter vacation, my family spent several days some time in New York City because...
I got rid of one instance of "days"

This is the kind of place a semi-colon is good to use:
Stars represent life and freedom; hence, by comparing the lights in Times Square to the starry stars, I showed how Times Square is an amazing place.

same thing here:
I traveled to various parts in the United States of America; to name a few, Aspen, Boston, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis have my temporary homes . ---- I needed to add a predicate.

:-)

I'm not really worried about other paraprahs, but the my last paragraph needs a lot of work. Can you help me with this?

The theme of my poem is straightforward- Times Square is a sensational place. This can be proven through the simile in line one and two, "Mesmerizing lights, brighter than stars." I don'[t think I phrased my theme correctly. Stars represent life and freedom, hence, by comparing the lights in Times Square to the starry stars, I showed how Times Square is an amazing place. Wod choice needs work. In addition, I applied personification in my last line, "Times Square overwhelms," to unveil how it exhilarate people. This part as well. Can you make my phrases sound more smooth. Thank you!

The theme of my poem is straightforward-Times Square is a zestful place. This can be proven through the simile in line one and two, "Mesmerizing lights, brighter than stars." Stars represent life, hence, by comparing the lights in Times Square to the starry stars in the sky, I accentuated the liveliness in Times Square. Furthermore, my awed tone throughout the poem elaborate on the theme as well, such as, "Mesmerizing lights," (1). The lights provoke the idea of vivaciousness in Times Square. Lastly, I applied personification in my last line, "Times Square overwhelms," to unveil its exhilarating influence on most people

Oops. Don't read the first part. It's my bad copy.

The theme is also too simple. However, it is not too simple for haiku. A haiku observes something and sees it simply as it is, in all its simple sacredness.

But when you write an essay, you are supposed to achieve something rather complex, giving an exposition of the essay's main idea.

I think the reason you think your stuff is worded is because of the difference between haiku and prose. You can use a line from the prose to point out that the haiku is necessarily about something simple, and image in a moment.

P.S. I don't think "time square overwhelms" is a personification.

:-)

No. It's not an essay. It's just a simple description.

Simplicity and complexity spill into one another. I think it's cool that the nature of reality is like that. Anyhow, the purpose of poetry and of essays is to make artful use of language so that some idea -- an idea that ordinarily cannot easily be expressed -- can be expressed! So, as you go deep into the act of writing, even a "simple description" can express something profound.