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graded research paper not so hot



rkslperez 2 / 1  
Feb 28, 2007   #1
Hey there,
I turned in my research paper and received a poor grade mainly because of my paraphrasing. The teacher insists this is something I should have learned by now, which she is probably right, but apparently it didnt stick.

I have another research paper to write but wanted tips before i did. I would love to email someone my paper so they can see all the comments that wont cut and paste into this window box. I tried to cut and paste but the comment boxes are left out and the formatting does not stick.

I understand the comments like...ei...that, you..3rd person...so on... but she says I may have plagiarized my paper, which I did not. I thought I was paraphrasing??

Can someone explain this to me? I can try to post or you can email me rkslperez@aol.com

Thanks in advance!

Here is a copy of the RESEARCH paper... apparently a difference from all other papers.

Can you tell me where I didnt parapharse right? I highlighted in BOLD the areas she did.

"A Narrative of the Captivity and Restoration of Mrs. Mary Rowlandson" authored by Mary Rowlandson, depicts strong Puritan beliefs reflected in one of the most complete captivity dairies for its time. Throughout her confinement, Rowlandson uses her skills as a mother, homemaker, and firm believer in her faith to survive her ordeal. She believes herself to be a soldier in God's army and reflects this spirit in her writing. Rowlandson also believes God's direct intervention is the only reason why she claimed her survival from the Indians, and her salvation. Her dairy is a testament to strength and seeing God's plan fulfilled.

To describe Rowlandson is to describe most women; she is a loving mother who is not aware of her unlimited potential. A mother of four children, one whom died in infancy; the other three captured with her (Mary Rowlandson - Captive in 1675/7). The youngest child, six years old, died days after the capture, succumbing to her wounds. She reunites sporadically throughout the captivity with her remaining children. It is understandable that her spirit is near death after watching her youngest daughter die in her arms. Heartache aside, she pushed forward in hopes of seeing her family again. Rowlandson knew deep down in her heart God had a plan for her and she was willing to fulfill it. She prayed to God for renewed strength and ability to carry on with his plan. Rowlandson conditions herself as a homemaker with no stomach for horror. Her parents were quite wealthy and she enjoyed living a comfortable lifestyle. Had she known what she would endure throughout her travels, she might have prayed for death as his sister did on that fateful day. By entrusting her life to the beliefs of the Puritan T.U.L.I.P doctrine, Rowlandson transforms herself from a tolerable woman to one that survived the Devil's legion. (<~~this part in bold is partly my words and 'parapharsing from the site listed right before the bold)

Puritan's root their beliefs in the Calvinist doctrine called T.U.L.I.P. This belief emphasized God's absolute sovereignty and power in the act of salvation. The acronym stands for total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, irresistible grace, and perseverance of the saints (Slick). To clarify the intentions of T.U.L.I.P in respect to Rowlandson's journal we must define these beliefs according to her period. Total Depravity, or corruption, did not mean people were bad and going to be bad forever. Merely man cannot save himself alone but only with the help of the Lord. Unconditional election meant God had already chosen you for redemption regardless of your choices in life. Limited anointment statedcJesus sacrificed himself on the cross for only the saved. Then there was Irresistible Grace, he will save your life, it is not yours to save. God had a firm hand on whether you lived or died, ate or starved, and slept or awoken. Finally, the Perseverance of the Saints affirms saved souls cannot lose their salvation. You may stray from the flock but you will return. The last two hold strong in Rowlandson's journal. (<~~ I read the information and rewrote in my own words. was that supposed to be cited as theirs and mine). Critics site her journal as one of the most complete testaments to ones belief in their Lord God. Stating she wrote her journal in a Calvinist treatise showing the Indians as savage beasts used as a tool by God (Lewis). Most evident in Rowlandson's writings is her deep belief in T.U.L.I.P, mostly through God's Irresistible Grace, the Preservation of the Saints, and God's intervention in her life. Where are the examples from the Diary? You have written a summary of what someone else claims, but provide no

God's irresistible grace unites you with his plan no matter how stubborn your hearts is. This Puritan belief revealed itself many times in Rowlandson's journal. She starts her journey with preconceived notions of whom she is and how she handles things. Many times, she reminds her readers of a tobacco habit she once enjoyed in her former life. This habit is seen as more then just a simple pleasure but rather practices of a self-righteous woman who does as she pleases. It is clear that God's plan included an overhaul of Rowlandson's soul to endure such hardships and survive to tell her story. She found herself doing unspeakable actions that most would turn from in disgust. For Example, the sight of a dead body no longer upset her after holding her dead baby in her arms for hours on end. She began to see her former self as an evil creature that had strayed from God's flock. Finally, she must eat almost raw animal meat or she would die of starvation. All are actions of God's irresistible grace to show survival is possible when you yield to his terms, not your own.

Rowlandson's safeguarding throughout the horrific battle in God's Army shows God's Preservation of the Saint's belief is obvious in her writings. Often she speaks of the heathen acts brought upon her people with fierce hatred. During her forth remove, a near-term pregnant women pleads to return home to give birth to her baby but the Indians stripe her naked and danced around her. They taunted and teased her before knocking her over the head, as well as the child she was holding, throwing her remains in a bonfire. As the Indians turned to the prisoners, they give a strong warning, "...if they attempted to go home, they would serve them in like manner." (Rowlandson 218). She saw the devil in their eyes. In addition to this horrible scene in her 19th remove, the Devils stamped about claiming victory over her people. Unquestionably, she views her captures as dark creatures she must live to overcome. Upon her release from the Indians, she does not claim victory over her captures but gives this accomplishment to God as fulfillment of his plan. Concluding her experience by saying the Gods wonderful power shines through the roaring mouths of Lions. Indian's zero - God one. This is a formal research paper, not a football game.

Aside from the Puritan belief of T.U.L.I.P, they also believed the Lord worked according to his will, or simply put, everything happens for a reason. Many times throughout the three-month nightmare, Rowlandson's dairy clearly shows the Lord's intervention during her trying circumstances. As you read her journal, the Lord's works leap off the page revealing a strong presence in her life. She firmly believes God was in total control of her life saying God was with her in a way she could not falter. He blesses her, he cures her, and he saves her from herself at times. Mostly at her weakest moments, he is largely evident. She yearns for guidance from his word but unfortunately, while in a hail of bullets from the Indians, she is unable to grab her bible out of the house. She prays and pleads for a sign he is with her, and then he sent her a bible, ironically, enough through the hands of an Indian. Any woman can imagine if in the hands of heathens her safety would be in jeopardy. To her surprise, not one ill notion fell upon her. Finally, as a testament to her belief in Gods intervention, during her fifth remove she remembers how they easily crossed a wide raging river yet the rushing English Army couldn't cross but fell silently behind. "God did not give them courage to cross ...if it had been...God would have found a way" (Rowlandson 219). Obviously, her salvation was not at hand. A realization she accepts with earnest.

In conclusion, Rowlandson believes herself to be strong independent women of faith, put to the test in God's war. A feat that sends shivers down the spine of any person. Throughout her ordeal, she believes God selects her personally for this trail. After the publishing of her journal, she was a staple of enduring faith. God strips her of her home, family, dignity, but she held to the test with everlasting love her God. She was the 17th century Job from the bible. Why was her journal so popular? According to Rebecca Onion of NewRepublic Online, one reason was she lives to tell the tale. Seldom do women in captivity survive to tell their story. Going on to say Rowlandson's journal includes four very important aspects of any narrative; every gory detail included, transformation in the main character, a consistently creepy villain, and lastly, maintains a believable voice ("Captive Audience"). Her sincerity to her belief in God's supreme power meant you could survive Devils creatures, even the devil himself. A true testament of faith presented to the reader for reflection and as a guide to live by.

EF_Team2 1 / 1703  
Feb 28, 2007   #2
Greetings!

We can't email you privately, but I am happy to help you here on the site. Although it's a little difficult for me to tell without having your source as a reference, it appears to me that the problem was that you didn't credit your source when you paraphrased -- at all. I'm sure you know to cite your source when you quote directly, but it is also plagiarism to paraphrase without giving credit. Any time the ideas you express come from another source besides your own brain, you need to put in a citation. If you are taking words you read in a book and re-writing them in your own words, it is still plagiarism not to give credit to the text you used.

There are loads of good sites on the internet which explain citations, paraphrasing, references, and so on. Doing a quick Google search with those terms should yield quite a few, if you'd like to read more about it.

Also, for your next paper, don't rely too heavily on spell-check to catch your spelling mistakes; go through it carefully. When you are writing a research paper about a "diary" and consistently spell it "dairy" it can make your teacher cranky. :-))

Good luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP rkslperez 2 / 1  
Feb 28, 2007   #3
ok.. I understand.. even though they are my own words, they are their thoughts...so cite after every sentence I reference something I read, even though its a parapharse.

So is this what you are saying:

original:
To clarify the intentions of T.U.L.I.P in respect to Rowlandson's journal we must define these beliefs according to her period. Total Depravity, or corruption, did not mean people were bad and going to be bad forever. Merely man cannot save himself alone but only with the help of the Lord. Unconditional election meant God had already chosen you for redemption regardless of your choices in life. Limited anointment stated Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross for only the saved. Then there was Irresistible Grace, he will save your life, it is not yours to save. God had a firm hand on whether you lived or died, ate or starved, and slept or awoken. Finally, the Perseverance of the Saints affirms saved souls cannot lose their salvation. You may stray from the flock but you will return. The last two hold strong in Rowlandson's journal.

revised from your advice:
To clarify the intentions of T.U.L.I.P in respect to Rowlandson's journal we must define these beliefs according to her period. Total Depravity, or corruption, did not mean people were bad and going to be bad forever. (Slick) Man cannot save himself alone but only with the help of the Lord. Unconditional election meant God had already chosen individuals for redemption regardless of their choices in life. (Slick) Limited anointment stated Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross for only the saved. (Slick) Irresistible Grace, he will save the individuals life, it is not theirs to save. (Slick) God had a firm hand on whether they lived or died, ate or starved, and slept or awoken. Finally, the Perseverance of the Saints affirms saved souls cannot lose their salvation. (Slick) The last two hold strong in Rowlandson's journal.

Can you recommend a good program to use to proofread our papers? Microsoft Word grammer check isnt the best.

Thanks again :)
EF_Team2 1 / 1703  
Mar 1, 2007   #4
Greetings!

You're welcome!

You have the right idea. Fortunately, though, it is not necessary to cite after every sentence, if the source remains the same. Here are some tips:

Cite every piece of information that is not either your own work or common knowledge. (For instance, the fact that Bill Clinton was President of the U.S. is common knowledge.)

If you have a sentence or a block of text from a source, insert a parenthetical citation to show where the material came from; put it at the end of the last sentence containing quoted, paraphrased, or summarized material. It's also a good idea to mention the author at the beginning of that reference, such as, "According to Slick, ..." or, "In his 1993 book, Slick points out ..."

I agree Word isn't great for that. I don't know one off-hand, but if I find out, I'll let you know!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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