This is a research paper I have written on Obesity. Part of this assignment is a peer review portion. Please review this text and let me know what you thing, what is good, what is bad and what needs improvement.
There are three categories in which I think I need improvement.
1. Content- as I was writing this I found myself questioning whether this is still a research paper or if I have gone to close to a Persuasive Essay.
2. Does it flow?- I am pretty confident that all the subjects touched on are related to the topic of Obesity and how it affects people but some feed back would be nice.
3. Word Structure- Is this a paper that sounds professional or does it seem like it was written by a freshman I high school?
Thank you to everybody who takes the time to look this over.
Swartz 1
Obesity and Change, Is it Possible?
Matthew Swartz
Swartz 2
Matthew Swartz
ENG102 L11 Assignment
M. McBride #27005
15 December 2012
Obesity and Change, Is It Possible?
What is the most destructive force in the world? One that can cripple an economy, change the way of life for millions of Americans and cost so much for so many people financially, medically, physically and mentally. The answer is not just fat, but obesity. Currently the obesity rate in the United States is 37%, the highest in the world, bringing a crippling bill that is nearing $150 billion a year and adding to an already suffering economy and with many already begging the question, how long can this last?
Obesity is an issue that has been at the heart of the American way of life for years and is one that causes pain and suffering to many people on a daily basis. In 1988 researchers first began to notice that obesity had taken a sharp rise in numbers. It had slowing been increasing since the 1960's but not until 1988 did it spike at an alarming rate. According to ABC News from 1998 to 2006 there was an even bigger spike; a 37% increase in adult obesity was recorded in this 8 year stretch. This has affected all age groups from young adolescents to adulthood. The Center for Disease Control has estimated that 12.5 million children, roughly 17%, aged 2-18 years old are considered obese. This label of being obese now hit one in six children. Something that is even more concerning these days, however, is the rate at which people are not just obese
Swartz 3
but nearing obesity, more commonly called "overweight." One in three children is now considered to be overweight in the United States, according to CNN. Compared to other countries, American children make up approximately 30% of world wide the obesity rate.
There is also an alarming trend that has been uncovered in obesity, one that crosses the ethnic divide. In the different races researchers have noticed that Hispanic boys are more likely to be overweight than White boys. Also it was found that Black girls are more likely to be overweight than White girls. According to the NCBI ethnic minorities in the United States are more likely to remain obese throughout adult hood. A couple specific examples include a comparison between childhood obesity rates as opposed to adult obesity rates among White and Black children. It was found that, while White children who are obese throughout their adolescents are 68% more likely to remain obese into adulthood, Black children were 83% more likely to remain obese into adulthood after being obese as children. Hispanic children were also found to have a higher chance of remaining obese after adolescents than their White counter parts.
Like the ethnic divide, there s a distinct difference in obesity rates when it comes the families financial situation. There are many different obesity rates that researchers are calculating but one in particular stands out among the rest. Obesity rates among children and adolescents that come from low income families have tripled since 1980. This brings the count to one seven children from low income families being considered obese. This does not include children and adolescences that are considered overweight, a number that is considered nearly equal to that of obesity.
Swartz 4
There are many health problems associated with being overweight and obese. Chief among them is Diabetes. Diabetes, whether it is Type One or Type Two, means that the body has lost the ability to properly regulate its sugar levels. Some people are born with this disorder but there are an ever increasing number of people who get diabetes because of their weight. The American Diabetes Association (ADA), an organization that provides information and helps awareness of diabetes, currently estimates that two of three Americans fall under being obese or over weight. The NCBI agrees, saying that upwards of 43% of obese adults suffer from diabetes. A difference of eight percent is what makes up the difference between those who are overweight and obese to those who are of normal body weight. Where just under half of obese adults are suffering from diabetes, that same number, nearly half of all diabetics are considered to be obese. Type Two diabetes is considered to be a direct result of the person being obese. Over time, medical research has shown that by dropping weight, a person can actually be cured of Type Two diabetes. Although the same cannot be said about Type One diabetes, it is being found that losing weight and keeping it under control can have positive lasting impacts on the person who suffers from this particular type. Being overweight or being obese is the most modifiable risk factor for all types of diabetes because losing the weight will have an overwhelming impact how diabetes is treated and, for some, ultimately cured.
Medical treatment in the United States is a billion dollar industry. A broken healthcare system, as well as skyrocketing cost and insurance rates, have contributed the overall health expenses for 2009 which is an estimated $2,486,300,000,000. That is a large number alone; however another shocking number would be $146,000,000,000. This is the amount of money
Swartz 5
that can be directly tied to medical costs for those who are obese. That is ten percent the entire cost for medical care going towards one sickness.
Similar to that of the cost of obesity, diabetes is having a large impact on medical costs in the United States. In 2002, direct and indirect costs of diabetes totaled over $132,000,000,000, about 25% of Medicare's annual budget. What is surprising is that this does not include costs related to it complication. That number is thought to be much higher. The amount of money spent on medications alone to treat diabetes is nearly seven and a half billion dollars. All of these lead to the nation spending more than $13,000 per person with diabetes. With the healthcare related costs obesity and diabetes added together that is a hefty price tag of almost three billion dollars.
With any epidemic, whether it is obesity or even the Ebola virus epidemic, the key to the cure is awareness. In recent years a number of municipalities have taken it upon themselves to begin the awareness campaign in their cities. For example, a news story run by the ABC local affiliate in L.A. County reported that they put over two million dollars towards obesity awareness in the form of signs and posters, among other things like catchy slogans that say, "Choose less, weigh less." L.A. County may have a little more at stake than most, resulting in the need for change. The report stated that in L.A. County the costs in treating obesity related illnesses are costing them six billion dollars a year. Over the last 17 years, obesity in this area alone has increased a whopping 74%. Part of the reason for this may the fact that many restaurants in this area regularly serve meals to its customers that contain more than 1000 calories. By working together with these restaurants, the county is hoping to reduce the number it
Swartz 6
spends on health care annually. Public opinion on this campaign seems to be split. Some people believe that the public awareness campaign is a great idea. They see the problems obesity creates, not just medically but they realize that the current financial situation cannot continue this increased spending on healthcare. Others however see it as unwelcome government outreach. Many of those people already think that the government is meddling in the lives of its citizens and think that it is not the governments place to make these kinds of decisions for the citizens.
Actions speak louder than words. The obesity epidemic is at such a point where words will simply not do. There are a number of Senators and Representatives, along with a number of States, which are trying to push through legislation to help curb obesity. Many people view that a major contributing factor to obesity is in the schools. Schools had become a breeding ground of sorts for sugar laden drinks, unhealthy foods, and with the budget cuts that target sports and physical education classes. In California, they have signed a piece of legislation into law that targets schools specifically. This law, and many others like it, gives the State the power to govern what kinds of food schools are allowed to sell and where it comes from. Including daycares, California has pushed for schools to provide low fat milk, instead of chocolate milk. They also restrict how much juice daycares can give to kids, which is currently at one serving. On top of that they are barred from giving kids drinks that have added sugar. Along with limiting sugar intake, some States are instituting sp called "farm to school programs." These programs are supposed to provide more fresh vegetables to school instead of fatty treats and side dishes. Some of these bills have added earmarks that take it even a step further. Some legislation provides for States to begin enforcing these rules on schools and daycare centers.
Swartz 7
Now all of that goes to curbing childhood obesity, which is great for future generations but now the question is, what is being done about adult obesity? There is not a lot that can be done about adult obesity. As a person grows older it becomes more difficult for them to lose weight and change habits that have been ingrained in them for o long. With adults, the best way is to lead by example. Many heads of States have taken this term to heart and are actively trying to change public opinion and get people to become more active. One example of this is the Governor of the State of Kansas. According to the Associated Press he has started a weight loss challenge for him and his cabinet.
There is also a change under way in the way obesity is treated. In the past, it was not uncommon to set somebody up with a personal trainer and put together workout routines and diets in order to lose weight, and for the longest time that was the only other option, other than surgery. A new option that is emerging for people who wish to lose weight is counseling. Much like the counseling that deal with people with mental disorders, this counseling is specially tailored to help those who have constant cravings and need that extra boost to lose weight. Another great side effect of this counseling option is that is cheaper to fund than private trainers and a lot cheaper than the evasive surgery option.
Thanks to the efforts of these elected officials the United States is finally beginning to see results for this hard labor. The trend that was seen sharply rising almost two decades ago has begun to level out. Obesity rates are not going down as of yet. In fact they are not expected to go down for another few years. In that time they will continue to rise to an estimated 42%, so says an article found in the Harvard Gazette. Allison Hill says, "People have gotten better at gaining
Swartz 8
weight, but not better at losing it." That, although, is progress. It may not be a lot of progress but it is better than the crazy increase of over 30% in six years. Perhaps by then the rates will begin to go down and not hit that 42% bench mark.
The weight problem the world has created for itself is one that is proving to not easily be fixed. It is always easier gain weight than to lose it. Finally, with the costs surpassing the income, people across the country are starting to realize that this way cannot be continued. Through their efforts the tide is finally changing. It is a slow and arduous process that is being met with some resistance. This resistance is from those who are skeptical of the results and those who are skeptical of the motivation. Many people do not like being told what to do, especially by the government they already believe has too much power. Though the fact remains, something needed to be done, something is being done and things are changing for the better.
Swartz 9
Works Cited
Bradt, Steve. "Obesity Rate Will Reach At Least 42%" Harvard Gazette.
Harvard Science, 4 November 2010. Web. 07 December 2012
Milburn, John. "Kan. Governor Launches Weight-loss Challenge" Associated Press
San Francisco Chronicle, 27 November 2012 Web. 07 December 2012
Childhood Obesity - 2010 Update of Legislative Policy Options. National Conference
of State Legislators. GO22156 (2010) Web. 07 December 2012
Shahbazi, Rudabeh. "LA County to Launch $2M Obesity Awareness Campaign" KABC-TV/DT
ABC News, 04 October 2012 Web. 07 December 2012
Caprio, Sonia; Daniels, Stephen R.; Drewnoski, Adam; Kaufman, Francine R.; Palinkas, Lawrence A.; Rosenbloom, Arian L.; Schwimmer, Jeffrey B. "Influence of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Childhood Obesity: Implications for Prevention and Treatment" Diabetes Care
US National Libratory of Medicine. PMC2571048 (2008) Web. 07 December 2012
Nquyen, NT; Nquyen, XM; Lane, J.; Wang, P.; Relationship between obesity and diabetes in a US adult population: findings from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, 1999-2006. Obes Surg
US National Libratory of Medicine. (2011) Web. 07 December 2012
Center for Disease Control. Overweight and Obesity: Facts. CDC
Swartz 10
Center Disease Control (2012) Web. 07 December 2012
"Health and Nutrition" U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2012
U.S. Census Bureau. (2012) Web. 07 December 2012
Harding, Anne "As Childhood Obesity Improves, Will Kids in Poverty be Left Behind?" CNN Health. 01 May 2012 Web. 07 December 2012
There are three categories in which I think I need improvement.
1. Content- as I was writing this I found myself questioning whether this is still a research paper or if I have gone to close to a Persuasive Essay.
2. Does it flow?- I am pretty confident that all the subjects touched on are related to the topic of Obesity and how it affects people but some feed back would be nice.
3. Word Structure- Is this a paper that sounds professional or does it seem like it was written by a freshman I high school?
Thank you to everybody who takes the time to look this over.
Swartz 1
Obesity and Change, Is it Possible?
Matthew Swartz
Swartz 2
Matthew Swartz
ENG102 L11 Assignment
M. McBride #27005
15 December 2012
Obesity and Change, Is It Possible?
What is the most destructive force in the world? One that can cripple an economy, change the way of life for millions of Americans and cost so much for so many people financially, medically, physically and mentally. The answer is not just fat, but obesity. Currently the obesity rate in the United States is 37%, the highest in the world, bringing a crippling bill that is nearing $150 billion a year and adding to an already suffering economy and with many already begging the question, how long can this last?
Obesity is an issue that has been at the heart of the American way of life for years and is one that causes pain and suffering to many people on a daily basis. In 1988 researchers first began to notice that obesity had taken a sharp rise in numbers. It had slowing been increasing since the 1960's but not until 1988 did it spike at an alarming rate. According to ABC News from 1998 to 2006 there was an even bigger spike; a 37% increase in adult obesity was recorded in this 8 year stretch. This has affected all age groups from young adolescents to adulthood. The Center for Disease Control has estimated that 12.5 million children, roughly 17%, aged 2-18 years old are considered obese. This label of being obese now hit one in six children. Something that is even more concerning these days, however, is the rate at which people are not just obese
Swartz 3
but nearing obesity, more commonly called "overweight." One in three children is now considered to be overweight in the United States, according to CNN. Compared to other countries, American children make up approximately 30% of world wide the obesity rate.
There is also an alarming trend that has been uncovered in obesity, one that crosses the ethnic divide. In the different races researchers have noticed that Hispanic boys are more likely to be overweight than White boys. Also it was found that Black girls are more likely to be overweight than White girls. According to the NCBI ethnic minorities in the United States are more likely to remain obese throughout adult hood. A couple specific examples include a comparison between childhood obesity rates as opposed to adult obesity rates among White and Black children. It was found that, while White children who are obese throughout their adolescents are 68% more likely to remain obese into adulthood, Black children were 83% more likely to remain obese into adulthood after being obese as children. Hispanic children were also found to have a higher chance of remaining obese after adolescents than their White counter parts.
Like the ethnic divide, there s a distinct difference in obesity rates when it comes the families financial situation. There are many different obesity rates that researchers are calculating but one in particular stands out among the rest. Obesity rates among children and adolescents that come from low income families have tripled since 1980. This brings the count to one seven children from low income families being considered obese. This does not include children and adolescences that are considered overweight, a number that is considered nearly equal to that of obesity.
Swartz 4
There are many health problems associated with being overweight and obese. Chief among them is Diabetes. Diabetes, whether it is Type One or Type Two, means that the body has lost the ability to properly regulate its sugar levels. Some people are born with this disorder but there are an ever increasing number of people who get diabetes because of their weight. The American Diabetes Association (ADA), an organization that provides information and helps awareness of diabetes, currently estimates that two of three Americans fall under being obese or over weight. The NCBI agrees, saying that upwards of 43% of obese adults suffer from diabetes. A difference of eight percent is what makes up the difference between those who are overweight and obese to those who are of normal body weight. Where just under half of obese adults are suffering from diabetes, that same number, nearly half of all diabetics are considered to be obese. Type Two diabetes is considered to be a direct result of the person being obese. Over time, medical research has shown that by dropping weight, a person can actually be cured of Type Two diabetes. Although the same cannot be said about Type One diabetes, it is being found that losing weight and keeping it under control can have positive lasting impacts on the person who suffers from this particular type. Being overweight or being obese is the most modifiable risk factor for all types of diabetes because losing the weight will have an overwhelming impact how diabetes is treated and, for some, ultimately cured.
Medical treatment in the United States is a billion dollar industry. A broken healthcare system, as well as skyrocketing cost and insurance rates, have contributed the overall health expenses for 2009 which is an estimated $2,486,300,000,000. That is a large number alone; however another shocking number would be $146,000,000,000. This is the amount of money
Swartz 5
that can be directly tied to medical costs for those who are obese. That is ten percent the entire cost for medical care going towards one sickness.
Similar to that of the cost of obesity, diabetes is having a large impact on medical costs in the United States. In 2002, direct and indirect costs of diabetes totaled over $132,000,000,000, about 25% of Medicare's annual budget. What is surprising is that this does not include costs related to it complication. That number is thought to be much higher. The amount of money spent on medications alone to treat diabetes is nearly seven and a half billion dollars. All of these lead to the nation spending more than $13,000 per person with diabetes. With the healthcare related costs obesity and diabetes added together that is a hefty price tag of almost three billion dollars.
With any epidemic, whether it is obesity or even the Ebola virus epidemic, the key to the cure is awareness. In recent years a number of municipalities have taken it upon themselves to begin the awareness campaign in their cities. For example, a news story run by the ABC local affiliate in L.A. County reported that they put over two million dollars towards obesity awareness in the form of signs and posters, among other things like catchy slogans that say, "Choose less, weigh less." L.A. County may have a little more at stake than most, resulting in the need for change. The report stated that in L.A. County the costs in treating obesity related illnesses are costing them six billion dollars a year. Over the last 17 years, obesity in this area alone has increased a whopping 74%. Part of the reason for this may the fact that many restaurants in this area regularly serve meals to its customers that contain more than 1000 calories. By working together with these restaurants, the county is hoping to reduce the number it
Swartz 6
spends on health care annually. Public opinion on this campaign seems to be split. Some people believe that the public awareness campaign is a great idea. They see the problems obesity creates, not just medically but they realize that the current financial situation cannot continue this increased spending on healthcare. Others however see it as unwelcome government outreach. Many of those people already think that the government is meddling in the lives of its citizens and think that it is not the governments place to make these kinds of decisions for the citizens.
Actions speak louder than words. The obesity epidemic is at such a point where words will simply not do. There are a number of Senators and Representatives, along with a number of States, which are trying to push through legislation to help curb obesity. Many people view that a major contributing factor to obesity is in the schools. Schools had become a breeding ground of sorts for sugar laden drinks, unhealthy foods, and with the budget cuts that target sports and physical education classes. In California, they have signed a piece of legislation into law that targets schools specifically. This law, and many others like it, gives the State the power to govern what kinds of food schools are allowed to sell and where it comes from. Including daycares, California has pushed for schools to provide low fat milk, instead of chocolate milk. They also restrict how much juice daycares can give to kids, which is currently at one serving. On top of that they are barred from giving kids drinks that have added sugar. Along with limiting sugar intake, some States are instituting sp called "farm to school programs." These programs are supposed to provide more fresh vegetables to school instead of fatty treats and side dishes. Some of these bills have added earmarks that take it even a step further. Some legislation provides for States to begin enforcing these rules on schools and daycare centers.
Swartz 7
Now all of that goes to curbing childhood obesity, which is great for future generations but now the question is, what is being done about adult obesity? There is not a lot that can be done about adult obesity. As a person grows older it becomes more difficult for them to lose weight and change habits that have been ingrained in them for o long. With adults, the best way is to lead by example. Many heads of States have taken this term to heart and are actively trying to change public opinion and get people to become more active. One example of this is the Governor of the State of Kansas. According to the Associated Press he has started a weight loss challenge for him and his cabinet.
There is also a change under way in the way obesity is treated. In the past, it was not uncommon to set somebody up with a personal trainer and put together workout routines and diets in order to lose weight, and for the longest time that was the only other option, other than surgery. A new option that is emerging for people who wish to lose weight is counseling. Much like the counseling that deal with people with mental disorders, this counseling is specially tailored to help those who have constant cravings and need that extra boost to lose weight. Another great side effect of this counseling option is that is cheaper to fund than private trainers and a lot cheaper than the evasive surgery option.
Thanks to the efforts of these elected officials the United States is finally beginning to see results for this hard labor. The trend that was seen sharply rising almost two decades ago has begun to level out. Obesity rates are not going down as of yet. In fact they are not expected to go down for another few years. In that time they will continue to rise to an estimated 42%, so says an article found in the Harvard Gazette. Allison Hill says, "People have gotten better at gaining
Swartz 8
weight, but not better at losing it." That, although, is progress. It may not be a lot of progress but it is better than the crazy increase of over 30% in six years. Perhaps by then the rates will begin to go down and not hit that 42% bench mark.
The weight problem the world has created for itself is one that is proving to not easily be fixed. It is always easier gain weight than to lose it. Finally, with the costs surpassing the income, people across the country are starting to realize that this way cannot be continued. Through their efforts the tide is finally changing. It is a slow and arduous process that is being met with some resistance. This resistance is from those who are skeptical of the results and those who are skeptical of the motivation. Many people do not like being told what to do, especially by the government they already believe has too much power. Though the fact remains, something needed to be done, something is being done and things are changing for the better.
Swartz 9
Works Cited
Bradt, Steve. "Obesity Rate Will Reach At Least 42%" Harvard Gazette.
Harvard Science, 4 November 2010. Web. 07 December 2012
Milburn, John. "Kan. Governor Launches Weight-loss Challenge" Associated Press
San Francisco Chronicle, 27 November 2012 Web. 07 December 2012
Childhood Obesity - 2010 Update of Legislative Policy Options. National Conference
of State Legislators. GO22156 (2010) Web. 07 December 2012
Shahbazi, Rudabeh. "LA County to Launch $2M Obesity Awareness Campaign" KABC-TV/DT
ABC News, 04 October 2012 Web. 07 December 2012
Caprio, Sonia; Daniels, Stephen R.; Drewnoski, Adam; Kaufman, Francine R.; Palinkas, Lawrence A.; Rosenbloom, Arian L.; Schwimmer, Jeffrey B. "Influence of Race, Ethnicity, and Culture on Childhood Obesity: Implications for Prevention and Treatment" Diabetes Care
US National Libratory of Medicine. PMC2571048 (2008) Web. 07 December 2012
Nquyen, NT; Nquyen, XM; Lane, J.; Wang, P.; Relationship between obesity and diabetes in a US adult population: findings from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, 1999-2006. Obes Surg
US National Libratory of Medicine. (2011) Web. 07 December 2012
Center for Disease Control. Overweight and Obesity: Facts. CDC
Swartz 10
Center Disease Control (2012) Web. 07 December 2012
"Health and Nutrition" U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States: 2012
U.S. Census Bureau. (2012) Web. 07 December 2012
Harding, Anne "As Childhood Obesity Improves, Will Kids in Poverty be Left Behind?" CNN Health. 01 May 2012 Web. 07 December 2012