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paper review in economic



okuna 5 / 3  
Feb 27, 2007   #1
this is my first paper review in economic. Could u check the wording and errors please. Maybe some of part is not understable for u, If will tell me.

Thank u

Sandy Shore who is Business writer wrote an article about how much more and for how long can prove a complicated estimate based on a variety of factors such as the animal losses from the storms, the weather and supplies. The article, "Western storms may force beef prices up" was published in news on January, 7, 2007.

There are several strong storms pounded the West with lot of disruption. The back -to-back holiday storms sent blowing snow into huge drifts that stranded thousands of animals on open range in the Oklahoma Panhandle, Kansas, southeastern Colorado and parts of Nebraska - representing the at least one half of the nation's cattle feeding areas. A similar storm in 1997 killed 30.000 cattle in Colorado. Estimates of losses on ranges were at least 3500 head in Colorado, might be more. Disasters tend to be highly visible events with the potential for considerable economic dislocation.

One of the feedlots said he will have to pay more to put weight on the cattle. He isn't sure yet how much the storm damages will cost him. Precise determination of the feedlot's impacts is constrained by the dynamic interaction of numerous biological and economic variables.

The price of cattle heading from the feedlot to the packing plant will increase by about 5 percent in the near term, according to Doud and Cattle Fax's Good. Fed cattle prices were about 4.5 percent higher Friday, from $85 per hundredweight to $89 to90$ per hundredweight. Economists said it is too early to tell if retail prices will be affected but most don't believe it will be significant change, if any, because retailers have the ability to manage inventories more easily in the $ 79.5 billion retail beef industry.

The affected herds in Colorado represent about $1.8 billion worth of cattle including breeding cows that will produce calves for next year's supply. Seeing this western storm will cause a decrease in supply, increase in demand. One of the determinant of supply is natural disaster.

From the article" Our prices to our customers are not going to be affected probably in the short term, he said " It might affect us a little bit as we get into the longer term, six to 12 months, depending on how much loss there is." On page 17-9 it discussed biggest factor affecting price elasticity of supply is time. If the price of beef increases, the quantity supplied monthly in West area would increase relatively little in the first month after the price increase. If the price remains high for a year, the quantity supplied each month would increase much more. But for the consumer if the price of beef by 5%, the quantity demanded in the next week would decrease relatively little. If the price of beef stays high for a year, the quantity demanded will decrease more, as consumer substitute for other goods. There are some substitutions goods for beef such as chicken, pork, mutton. An increase in the cost of production will decrease in supply; cost of production and quantity is inversely related.

Natural disaster-related economic losses. While the loss of human life from the devastating Western Storm is overwhelming, the economic cost was an estimated $1.8 billion. The twentieth century was relatively benign in comparison to the past. We've had worse volcanic eruptions, more severe storms, worse drought (in the past). What overwhelms us is population.

EF_Team2 1 / 1703  
Feb 28, 2007   #2
Greetings!

It can certainly be a challenge writing on a complex subject in a foreign language. Here are some
things to look for as you're proofreading your paper.

Articles (a, an, the) - Most of the time, nouns require them. For example: Sandy Shore, who is a business writer, wrote an article about ..." [Also, notice the commas I added.] You have several places where articles are missing, such as: "was published in the news"

Occasionally, you put in an article where it does not belong: "representing the [delete "the"] at least one half"

Word choice: make sure you are saying what you really intended. For example: "One of the feedlots said he will have to pay more ..." - I doubt that it was a feedlot talking; perhaps you meant a feedlot owner?

"Seeing this western storm will cause a decrease in supply, increase in demand. One of the determinants [add "s"] of supply is the occurrence of natural disasters [add "s"].

"But for the consumer if the price of beef [need verb] by 5%," - If the price of beef increases?

"how much more and for how long can prove a complicated estimate based on a variety of factors ..." - This is a little little confusing. I can't really re-write it for you because it doesn't completely make sene to me.

"the quantity supplied monthly in West area" - "in West area" isn't quite right; perhaps "in the western U.S." or "in the western states"?

Watch for subject-verb agreement: "as consumers [add "s"] substitute"

"There are some substitutions goods for beef" - I'm not sure if you mean "substitution goods" [meaning products which can be substituted] or "some good substitutes for beef"; the second might be a better choice.

"Natural disaster-related economic losses." - This is a sentence fragment, unless you are using it as a heading for a new section of your paper.

"What overwhelms us is population." - This is the first time you have mentioned population. If this the end of your essay, and you are not going on to discuss population in a following section, don't suddenly bring that aspect into your paper; it doesn't fit.

I hope these comments are helpful to you!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP okuna 5 / 3  
Feb 28, 2007   #3
Thank u for your help, Is doesn't make a sense to you?
EF_Team2 1 / 1703  
Feb 28, 2007   #4
Greetings!

Overall, the essay makes perfect sense to me. You provide a lot of good information on the subject. The only thing I found confusing was this sentence: "how much more and for how long can prove a complicated estimate based on a variety of factors ..." -- it isn't proper grammar and I wasn't sure how to advise you to re-write it because I'm not sure "how much more and for how long" ... what? A complicated estimate of ... what? Perhaps if you re-read your source (Shore) you can find a better way to word this sentence.

But, as I said, I think the essay makes sense and is very informative!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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