I could really use some assistance in proof reading my essay to get a second + opinion on my essay. It is about the rise in obesity in children. I really have an issue staying in the proper point of view and using proper grammar throughout. I would also love some feedback on the flow of the essay, making sure transition from topic to topic is smooth. Thank you!
According to the CDC, 1 in 5 children between the ages of 6 and 19 in the United States are considered obese, a number that has nearly tripled from what it was 40 years ago. Looking at this statistic, we question what is causing our youth to become obese at younger ages than previous generations. Who is to blame in this epidemic? Is it the children themselves, their schools, their parents, or is it the environment around them? Obesity has become more and more prevalent in the younger generation within the last twenty years. In this day and age where fast food is more convenient and technology is taking over, it is important that our children are living healthy lifestyles. It is up to the school system to provide healthy lunches and education on what it means to live healthy and it is up to the parents to continue this healthy lifestyle at home. If both the school system and the parents don't come together in this initiative, obese children will become obese adults with the chance of life-threatening health problems. Corporations such as the NFL and celebrities like Michelle Obama have used their publicity to bring awareness to this issue and provide resources to aide in the prevention of childhood obesity.
A majority of a child's day is spent at school which puts a great deal of pressure on the school systems to help promote a healthy lifestyle. The first place that a school could start is in their own cafeteria. Instead of meals that come from the freezer with ingredients they can't pronounce, schools could offer healthier meals to their students. Stratford Academy in Georgia took healthy cooking to the next level by hiring a professional chef. "My emphasis is always on giving them an alternative," DeAngio said. "So, instead of fried chicken, we do roast chicken. You know, I don't want to reinvent the wheel. I don't want to give them something so new and foreign that they're not even going to try it. I want it to be approachable but also healthy." (Max). Obviously it is not realistic for every school in America to be hiring a personal chef. Schools should take notes on what DeAngio has done at Stratford Academy to create options that are nutritionally beneficial for their students. Some low-cost solutions that all schools nationwide could implement are having wheat buns, grill food to cut down on oil being used, and give different vegetable options as the sides. Stratford Academy also created a farm club for students to join. This allowed the students to learn and assist in the growing of fresh vegetables, fruits, and spices. Teaching students at a young age about growing their own produce will hopefully encourage them to have a garden of their own at home. Stratford Academy then took what the farm club grew and had it used in the cafeteria to be made into meals. "When they brought us two milk crates of sweet potatoes, we immediately turned them into, like, sweet potato casserole, and we sold out in an hour," she said. "We didn't even get to high school. Like, the middle schoolers just scarfed it up." (Max). The cafeteria took these key opportunities to incorporate the student grown ingredients in a healthy new meal for them to try.
A second action the schools can take is to have teachers incorporate nutrition education into their lesson plans. Mary Patten, a high school teacher, has already started to implement teaching about health and obesity into her curriculum. In her research and lesson plan she states, "There is a need for students to learn the causes and effects of being overweight and how they can prevent or control it. The learning objectives will cover writing skills, identifying cause and effect, judging and evaluating sources of research material, and summarization." (Patten 1). In her class, she talks about the health risks of becoming obese, the social risks associated with being obese, and the cultural and economic aspects of obesity. Her intentions were to not scare the students but rather educate on the importance of good health and nutrition. "I intend for this unit to teach the students how to balance what they eat with sufficient physical activity, as well as to draw their attention to the health-related consequences of overweight." (Patten 1). Although Mary Patten is a high school teacher, this subject could be incorporated into lessons as early as elementary school. Her lesson plan proves that it is possible to teach the core subject content that is required to be taught and incorporate health as well.
All of the changes we are proposing our schools should make will be for nothing if the parents do not make healthy changes at home as well. For the working parents, fast food restaurants have made it easier to grab a quick dinner on their way home instead of making a home cooked meal. Dr. Demory talks about this in her research article about adolescents and fast food, "Fast food restaurants or quick-service establishments are often the overall choice for food away from home. Socioeconomic trends, such as longer work hours, more women employed outside the home, and a high number of single-parent households have changed the way families obtain their meals," (Demory). The new trend is to just swing through a McDonalds and get dinner for the family because it is quicker, easier, and sadly cheaper. This kind of habit is then learned by the child and makes them more likely to continue this norm to adulthood. The parents need to learn about the effects this kind of eating can have on their children. It is important that they learn about the benefits of cooking good nutritional meals and having healthy snacks around the home. These kinds of actions can influence the child, so when they go to school, they will be in the habit of picking the better option of food. This will also aide in their future, meaning as these children grow up and venture out on their own, they will continue to live by these healthy habits without someone telling them to do so.
Not only do parents need to worry about what kind of foods they are feeding their children, but also their choice of activity. Television shows and video games have taken over as a child's choice for after school activity whereas it used to be playing outside until the street lights came on. According to Belanger's study, in the United States there have been an increase in mobile media use among 2 to 4 years old from 39% to 80%. This statistic is so alarming due to the fact that children as young as two years old are already getting hooked on electronics. Parents are the ones responsible for setting limits on screen time and encouraging any type of physical activity. Whether it is sports, playing on a jungle gym in a park, or just going on a family walk or bike ride, these kids need to be doing something to increase their physical activity. According to Belanger's study, he said, "Although evidence for an association between screen time and body mass index in very young children is inconclusive, several studies have suggested that risks for overweight established by early screen use can persist into later life. TV viewing in the early years can become routine, placing children who are heavy viewers at higher risk for being sedentary or overweight." (Bélanger). This is just further proof that parents need to limit their children's viewing of television and use of cellphones and become more active.
If nothing is done to help these children, they will be put more at risk to develop health problems at a younger age and into adulthood. Some examples of these diseases are type 2 diabetes, hypertension or high blood pressure, and heart disease related to high cholesterol. These health issues that were once only seen in adults, are now being seen in children and teens due to obesity. In Mary Patten's article she quotes Dr. Heather Dean when she says, "Diseases like type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, clogged arteries, breathing problems, and joint and bone problems' are now being seen in obese teens." It is concerning because a lot of these diseases have bad complications that develop over time, meaning these children are in for a lifetime of surgeries, medications, and health difficulties. "Then, when they are young adults, complications like kidney failure, blindness, loss of limbs, or early death can occur" (Patten 5). Can you imagine these types of complications happening to a child, which are preventable, all due to their weight?
Being obese also puts the child at risk for developing orthopedic problems, dermatological disorders, and even sleeping issues at a younger age. All of the extra weight that is put on the person's joints at a much younger age causes stress on the body that can lead to a lot of pain in their lower extremities and even as extreme as bowed legs. People who were obese as a child, will end up needing a knee or hip replacements at a much younger age. With that comes a lifetime of physical therapy and chiropractor visits in order to adjust to their surgeries. "They are more at risk for dermatological disorders, especially if they have deep skin folds. The obese child is prone to heat rash and a condition called Acanthosis Nigricans" which "is usually found in the neck area and is characterized by light-brown to black markings," (Patten 5). Sleep apnea, which is where you stop breathing for a period of time during sleep, is also a symptom of obesity.
Lastly, as an obese child, they may develop psychological issues such as depression and anxiety, body dissatisfaction leading to eating disorders, or emotional problems from being bullied and teased. This is something that is prevalent in this day in age of social media, where what you are "supposed to look like" is plastered all over the internet for these kids to see. Children base their thoughts off what they see, and if you don't look like that, it can lead to bullying or worse. "Overweight and obese children are often teased and/or bullied for their weight. They also face numerous other hardships including negative stereotypes, discrimination, and social marginalization. Obese children are often excluded from activities, particularly competitive activities that require physical activity. These negative social problems contribute to low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and a negative body image in children and can also affect academic performance." (Sahoo). It is sad to read that this is something that goes on at our children's school, but it is the reality. It is not easy being an overweight child in today's world. This is why these obese teens are turning to unhealthy ways to lose the weight. According to Krushnapriya Sahoo, a Public Health Specialist in the Department of Clinical Research, a number of studies have shown a higher prevalence of eating-related pathologies including anorexia, bulimia nervosa, and impulse regulation in todays obese youth. This is due to the fact that these children do not have the proper education or influence on how to lose the weight in a healthier way. They do not understand that their choice of not eating or getting sick after they do eat is very dangerous and could have life long consequences because of it.
The young child obesity epidemic has become so widespread, that it has caught the attention of celebrities and major corporations. Michelle Obama said, "The physical and emotional health of an entire generation and the economic health and security of our nation is at stake." She launched "Let's Move" in 2010 which aims to raise awareness for childhood obesity. The "Let's Move" website provides great information and resources for parents, schools, and children on how to live a healthy lifestyle. There is factual information about what obesity is, how we got into this epidemic, and the types of health problems associated with obesity. One of the tabs on the website is dedicated to eating healthy. There are resources, tools, and information on eating healthy for pregnant/nursing mothers, families, schools, and communities. The tab about getting active incorporates children and adults and the recommended physical activity length for each of them. It also provides a number of suggested activities to try as a family. The best part of the Let's Move website is the "Take Action" tab which provides five simple steps for success for everyone. These steps are to help parents get on the right track to eating well and staying fit, for schools to add healthy living to their lesson plans, for community leaders to empower families and communities to make healthy decisions, for elected officials to take action in cities and towns, for chefs to create healthy dishes to teach about food and nutrition, for kids to have fun being active and eating healthy, and for health care providers to educate and support patients in living healthier lives.
After Michelle Obama launched Let's Move, many other celebrities decided to use their fame to bring even more awareness to the childhood obesity epidemic. She was even invited to be a guest on the Ellen Degeneres show where she challenged Ellen to a "Gimme Five" dance off. Michelle Obama's "#GimmeFive" challenge was created in honor of the fifth anniversary of her Let's Move project. The challenge asks people to share five things that they are doing in their lives to be more active. Michelle Obama has challenged celebrities such as Ryan Seacrest, Nick Jonas, Beyonce, and astronauts on the International Space Station (Saad). Beyonce even released a workout/music video titled "Move Your Body" in hopes to encourage more children to get up and move (Conley). The music video takes place in a school cafeteria with kids getting up and dancing with her.
The NFL has become a major platform to encourage children to be more active. They launched "Play 60" in 2006 to encourage children to get up and play for 60 minutes a day. The NFL, in partnership with the American Heart Association, created the Play 60 Challenge which is something that teachers can sign their class up for online and actually compete with other classes and schools. All of the resources are provided to the teachers for this six-week challenge including a game planner for each student to track their progress, a printable classroom scoreboard, and a certificate to award to each student that completes the challenge. Once the challenge is completed, teachers will also have a guide that helps them incorporate physical activity in their classrooms year round. The NFL has also adapted to the ever growing popularity of smartphones and created a Play 60 app. This makes it easier for children to continue an active lifestyle outside of school. The app rewards children with fun characters and prizes for steps taken in a day and for completed exercises and activities. The last thing that the NFL is doing is called "Fuel Up to Play 60." This program is something that teachers can actually apply for their school to receive funding. This funding will help schools provide healthy meal options for their students. It will also help schools makeover their cafeterias in hopes to make healthy eating more appealing.
An increase in childhood obesity has been seen over the past couple decades. The convenience of fast food and snacks and the increased popularity of video games is aiding in this epidemic. In order for any positive change to be seen, the schools need to provide healthy lunches and education to their students and parents need to continue the healthy living at home. If these children do not receive the guidance they need, they could start seeing major health issues at a younger age than previously seen. Luckily, celebrities and corporations have already provided many resources for schools, parents and children in hopes to put an end to this epidemic.
The Rise of Obesity in Our Young Children
According to the CDC, 1 in 5 children between the ages of 6 and 19 in the United States are considered obese, a number that has nearly tripled from what it was 40 years ago. Looking at this statistic, we question what is causing our youth to become obese at younger ages than previous generations. Who is to blame in this epidemic? Is it the children themselves, their schools, their parents, or is it the environment around them? Obesity has become more and more prevalent in the younger generation within the last twenty years. In this day and age where fast food is more convenient and technology is taking over, it is important that our children are living healthy lifestyles. It is up to the school system to provide healthy lunches and education on what it means to live healthy and it is up to the parents to continue this healthy lifestyle at home. If both the school system and the parents don't come together in this initiative, obese children will become obese adults with the chance of life-threatening health problems. Corporations such as the NFL and celebrities like Michelle Obama have used their publicity to bring awareness to this issue and provide resources to aide in the prevention of childhood obesity.
A majority of a child's day is spent at school which puts a great deal of pressure on the school systems to help promote a healthy lifestyle. The first place that a school could start is in their own cafeteria. Instead of meals that come from the freezer with ingredients they can't pronounce, schools could offer healthier meals to their students. Stratford Academy in Georgia took healthy cooking to the next level by hiring a professional chef. "My emphasis is always on giving them an alternative," DeAngio said. "So, instead of fried chicken, we do roast chicken. You know, I don't want to reinvent the wheel. I don't want to give them something so new and foreign that they're not even going to try it. I want it to be approachable but also healthy." (Max). Obviously it is not realistic for every school in America to be hiring a personal chef. Schools should take notes on what DeAngio has done at Stratford Academy to create options that are nutritionally beneficial for their students. Some low-cost solutions that all schools nationwide could implement are having wheat buns, grill food to cut down on oil being used, and give different vegetable options as the sides. Stratford Academy also created a farm club for students to join. This allowed the students to learn and assist in the growing of fresh vegetables, fruits, and spices. Teaching students at a young age about growing their own produce will hopefully encourage them to have a garden of their own at home. Stratford Academy then took what the farm club grew and had it used in the cafeteria to be made into meals. "When they brought us two milk crates of sweet potatoes, we immediately turned them into, like, sweet potato casserole, and we sold out in an hour," she said. "We didn't even get to high school. Like, the middle schoolers just scarfed it up." (Max). The cafeteria took these key opportunities to incorporate the student grown ingredients in a healthy new meal for them to try.
A second action the schools can take is to have teachers incorporate nutrition education into their lesson plans. Mary Patten, a high school teacher, has already started to implement teaching about health and obesity into her curriculum. In her research and lesson plan she states, "There is a need for students to learn the causes and effects of being overweight and how they can prevent or control it. The learning objectives will cover writing skills, identifying cause and effect, judging and evaluating sources of research material, and summarization." (Patten 1). In her class, she talks about the health risks of becoming obese, the social risks associated with being obese, and the cultural and economic aspects of obesity. Her intentions were to not scare the students but rather educate on the importance of good health and nutrition. "I intend for this unit to teach the students how to balance what they eat with sufficient physical activity, as well as to draw their attention to the health-related consequences of overweight." (Patten 1). Although Mary Patten is a high school teacher, this subject could be incorporated into lessons as early as elementary school. Her lesson plan proves that it is possible to teach the core subject content that is required to be taught and incorporate health as well.
All of the changes we are proposing our schools should make will be for nothing if the parents do not make healthy changes at home as well. For the working parents, fast food restaurants have made it easier to grab a quick dinner on their way home instead of making a home cooked meal. Dr. Demory talks about this in her research article about adolescents and fast food, "Fast food restaurants or quick-service establishments are often the overall choice for food away from home. Socioeconomic trends, such as longer work hours, more women employed outside the home, and a high number of single-parent households have changed the way families obtain their meals," (Demory). The new trend is to just swing through a McDonalds and get dinner for the family because it is quicker, easier, and sadly cheaper. This kind of habit is then learned by the child and makes them more likely to continue this norm to adulthood. The parents need to learn about the effects this kind of eating can have on their children. It is important that they learn about the benefits of cooking good nutritional meals and having healthy snacks around the home. These kinds of actions can influence the child, so when they go to school, they will be in the habit of picking the better option of food. This will also aide in their future, meaning as these children grow up and venture out on their own, they will continue to live by these healthy habits without someone telling them to do so.
Not only do parents need to worry about what kind of foods they are feeding their children, but also their choice of activity. Television shows and video games have taken over as a child's choice for after school activity whereas it used to be playing outside until the street lights came on. According to Belanger's study, in the United States there have been an increase in mobile media use among 2 to 4 years old from 39% to 80%. This statistic is so alarming due to the fact that children as young as two years old are already getting hooked on electronics. Parents are the ones responsible for setting limits on screen time and encouraging any type of physical activity. Whether it is sports, playing on a jungle gym in a park, or just going on a family walk or bike ride, these kids need to be doing something to increase their physical activity. According to Belanger's study, he said, "Although evidence for an association between screen time and body mass index in very young children is inconclusive, several studies have suggested that risks for overweight established by early screen use can persist into later life. TV viewing in the early years can become routine, placing children who are heavy viewers at higher risk for being sedentary or overweight." (Bélanger). This is just further proof that parents need to limit their children's viewing of television and use of cellphones and become more active.
If nothing is done to help these children, they will be put more at risk to develop health problems at a younger age and into adulthood. Some examples of these diseases are type 2 diabetes, hypertension or high blood pressure, and heart disease related to high cholesterol. These health issues that were once only seen in adults, are now being seen in children and teens due to obesity. In Mary Patten's article she quotes Dr. Heather Dean when she says, "Diseases like type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, clogged arteries, breathing problems, and joint and bone problems' are now being seen in obese teens." It is concerning because a lot of these diseases have bad complications that develop over time, meaning these children are in for a lifetime of surgeries, medications, and health difficulties. "Then, when they are young adults, complications like kidney failure, blindness, loss of limbs, or early death can occur" (Patten 5). Can you imagine these types of complications happening to a child, which are preventable, all due to their weight?
Being obese also puts the child at risk for developing orthopedic problems, dermatological disorders, and even sleeping issues at a younger age. All of the extra weight that is put on the person's joints at a much younger age causes stress on the body that can lead to a lot of pain in their lower extremities and even as extreme as bowed legs. People who were obese as a child, will end up needing a knee or hip replacements at a much younger age. With that comes a lifetime of physical therapy and chiropractor visits in order to adjust to their surgeries. "They are more at risk for dermatological disorders, especially if they have deep skin folds. The obese child is prone to heat rash and a condition called Acanthosis Nigricans" which "is usually found in the neck area and is characterized by light-brown to black markings," (Patten 5). Sleep apnea, which is where you stop breathing for a period of time during sleep, is also a symptom of obesity.
Lastly, as an obese child, they may develop psychological issues such as depression and anxiety, body dissatisfaction leading to eating disorders, or emotional problems from being bullied and teased. This is something that is prevalent in this day in age of social media, where what you are "supposed to look like" is plastered all over the internet for these kids to see. Children base their thoughts off what they see, and if you don't look like that, it can lead to bullying or worse. "Overweight and obese children are often teased and/or bullied for their weight. They also face numerous other hardships including negative stereotypes, discrimination, and social marginalization. Obese children are often excluded from activities, particularly competitive activities that require physical activity. These negative social problems contribute to low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and a negative body image in children and can also affect academic performance." (Sahoo). It is sad to read that this is something that goes on at our children's school, but it is the reality. It is not easy being an overweight child in today's world. This is why these obese teens are turning to unhealthy ways to lose the weight. According to Krushnapriya Sahoo, a Public Health Specialist in the Department of Clinical Research, a number of studies have shown a higher prevalence of eating-related pathologies including anorexia, bulimia nervosa, and impulse regulation in todays obese youth. This is due to the fact that these children do not have the proper education or influence on how to lose the weight in a healthier way. They do not understand that their choice of not eating or getting sick after they do eat is very dangerous and could have life long consequences because of it.
The young child obesity epidemic has become so widespread, that it has caught the attention of celebrities and major corporations. Michelle Obama said, "The physical and emotional health of an entire generation and the economic health and security of our nation is at stake." She launched "Let's Move" in 2010 which aims to raise awareness for childhood obesity. The "Let's Move" website provides great information and resources for parents, schools, and children on how to live a healthy lifestyle. There is factual information about what obesity is, how we got into this epidemic, and the types of health problems associated with obesity. One of the tabs on the website is dedicated to eating healthy. There are resources, tools, and information on eating healthy for pregnant/nursing mothers, families, schools, and communities. The tab about getting active incorporates children and adults and the recommended physical activity length for each of them. It also provides a number of suggested activities to try as a family. The best part of the Let's Move website is the "Take Action" tab which provides five simple steps for success for everyone. These steps are to help parents get on the right track to eating well and staying fit, for schools to add healthy living to their lesson plans, for community leaders to empower families and communities to make healthy decisions, for elected officials to take action in cities and towns, for chefs to create healthy dishes to teach about food and nutrition, for kids to have fun being active and eating healthy, and for health care providers to educate and support patients in living healthier lives.
After Michelle Obama launched Let's Move, many other celebrities decided to use their fame to bring even more awareness to the childhood obesity epidemic. She was even invited to be a guest on the Ellen Degeneres show where she challenged Ellen to a "Gimme Five" dance off. Michelle Obama's "#GimmeFive" challenge was created in honor of the fifth anniversary of her Let's Move project. The challenge asks people to share five things that they are doing in their lives to be more active. Michelle Obama has challenged celebrities such as Ryan Seacrest, Nick Jonas, Beyonce, and astronauts on the International Space Station (Saad). Beyonce even released a workout/music video titled "Move Your Body" in hopes to encourage more children to get up and move (Conley). The music video takes place in a school cafeteria with kids getting up and dancing with her.
The NFL has become a major platform to encourage children to be more active. They launched "Play 60" in 2006 to encourage children to get up and play for 60 minutes a day. The NFL, in partnership with the American Heart Association, created the Play 60 Challenge which is something that teachers can sign their class up for online and actually compete with other classes and schools. All of the resources are provided to the teachers for this six-week challenge including a game planner for each student to track their progress, a printable classroom scoreboard, and a certificate to award to each student that completes the challenge. Once the challenge is completed, teachers will also have a guide that helps them incorporate physical activity in their classrooms year round. The NFL has also adapted to the ever growing popularity of smartphones and created a Play 60 app. This makes it easier for children to continue an active lifestyle outside of school. The app rewards children with fun characters and prizes for steps taken in a day and for completed exercises and activities. The last thing that the NFL is doing is called "Fuel Up to Play 60." This program is something that teachers can actually apply for their school to receive funding. This funding will help schools provide healthy meal options for their students. It will also help schools makeover their cafeterias in hopes to make healthy eating more appealing.
An increase in childhood obesity has been seen over the past couple decades. The convenience of fast food and snacks and the increased popularity of video games is aiding in this epidemic. In order for any positive change to be seen, the schools need to provide healthy lunches and education to their students and parents need to continue the healthy living at home. If these children do not receive the guidance they need, they could start seeing major health issues at a younger age than previously seen. Luckily, celebrities and corporations have already provided many resources for schools, parents and children in hopes to put an end to this epidemic.
