I have to complete a page-long personal statement for my application for my A-Levels Scholarship
The theme for my personal statement is Creating Excellence from Adversity
I am a Malaysian student which means that English is technically speaking not my first language.
12 years ago, I remember shifting uncomfortably in my crowded family car heading towards Kuala Lumpur. "A new home," my dad answered when I asked him where we were going. My dad was unemployed then and had decided to move his family to Kuala Lumpur in a bid to seek a better life for his beloved family. "A new home," he repeated as if reassuring himself. "But, is it better?" I thought to myself looking at the land at the other side of the Straits of Johor, Singapore.
Upon my arrival to Kuala Lumpur, I could not begin to fathom the new path my life would take. During my early years in Kuala Lumpur I encountered difficulties integrating into the local culture such as learning a new language, Bahasa Malaysia. Life also took a turn for the worse when my family's financial problems worsened instead. Today, the once chubby and cute boy is a short and skinny teenager who is also a hardworking and ambitious student. I have learned that no matter what one does or decides, life is filled with challenges and changes. To face them, we have to learn to create excellence from adversity
An important event that helped me learn this happened just last year. I took part in a competition titled Underwater Remotely Operated Vehicle competition in which a team of four students had to build an underwater remotely operated vehicle where it will be judged through several challenges. We had to learn the nuts and bolts of building an underwater remotely operated vehicle from scratch. Besides that, we had to create a design for the remotely operated vehicle which was both innovative and could compete with designs from some of the best schools in Malaysia.
As the leader of the team I often asked myself, "What can I do to improve the remotely operated vehicle?" I found myself thinking that I can always do better and that I can never settle for just good. From there I learnt the meaning of excellence; excellence is an act of constantly pushing yourself further than you think you can go. An excellent person knows that adversity can bring out the best in oneself and not otherwise. In the end, it was a jubilant moment for us when we were announced winners.
Please give me tips and suggestions to improve my personal statement
The theme for my personal statement is Creating Excellence from Adversity
I am a Malaysian student which means that English is technically speaking not my first language.
12 years ago, I remember shifting uncomfortably in my crowded family car heading towards Kuala Lumpur. "A new home," my dad answered when I asked him where we were going. My dad was unemployed then and had decided to move his family to Kuala Lumpur in a bid to seek a better life for his beloved family. "A new home," he repeated as if reassuring himself. "But, is it better?" I thought to myself looking at the land at the other side of the Straits of Johor, Singapore.
Upon my arrival to Kuala Lumpur, I could not begin to fathom the new path my life would take. During my early years in Kuala Lumpur I encountered difficulties integrating into the local culture such as learning a new language, Bahasa Malaysia. Life also took a turn for the worse when my family's financial problems worsened instead. Today, the once chubby and cute boy is a short and skinny teenager who is also a hardworking and ambitious student. I have learned that no matter what one does or decides, life is filled with challenges and changes. To face them, we have to learn to create excellence from adversity
An important event that helped me learn this happened just last year. I took part in a competition titled Underwater Remotely Operated Vehicle competition in which a team of four students had to build an underwater remotely operated vehicle where it will be judged through several challenges. We had to learn the nuts and bolts of building an underwater remotely operated vehicle from scratch. Besides that, we had to create a design for the remotely operated vehicle which was both innovative and could compete with designs from some of the best schools in Malaysia.
As the leader of the team I often asked myself, "What can I do to improve the remotely operated vehicle?" I found myself thinking that I can always do better and that I can never settle for just good. From there I learnt the meaning of excellence; excellence is an act of constantly pushing yourself further than you think you can go. An excellent person knows that adversity can bring out the best in oneself and not otherwise. In the end, it was a jubilant moment for us when we were announced winners.
Please give me tips and suggestions to improve my personal statement