I'm applying for Endeavour Scholarship & Fellowships Program in order to study in Australia and I'd like to receive some feedback about my essay. I applied for the Master of Actuarial Science (you can check what is Actuarial Science here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actuarial_science ).
Please explain how receiving an Endeavour scholarship or fellowship would make a difference to your personal life. (200 words)
I aspire to be a great actuary who can help develop Brazil. Unfortunately, I cannot continue my studies in my home country as there aren't postgraduate programmes in my field of study. So, to continue studying, I need to go abroad and Endeavour Scholarships would have an important role in achieving my personal goals. I'd have the opportunity to study at one of the best universities in the Actuarial Science field, to learn with renowned professors and to receive a stronger training. It'd change my life as it'd give me the needed background to become the great professional I want to be.
Brazil faces too many issues regarding its social security system mostly because there are a lack of qualified actuaries working there. Being a successful applicant of Endeavour would improve my educational, which would contribute to my ambitions of helping develop Brazilian public health and social security systems. This would make a difference in my life as it would allow me to work in favor of the society, improving the services of those important institutions and benefiting my community. Without Endeavour, I would be prevented to realize my dream of benefiting other people with my daily work.
My first language is not English and, if you find some mistakes, please correct me!
Please explain how receiving an Endeavour scholarship or fellowship would make a difference to your personal life. (200 words)
benefiting other people with my daily work
I aspire to be a great actuary who can help develop Brazil. Unfortunately, I cannot continue my studies in my home country as there aren't postgraduate programmes in my field of study. So, to continue studying, I need to go abroad and Endeavour Scholarships would have an important role in achieving my personal goals. I'd have the opportunity to study at one of the best universities in the Actuarial Science field, to learn with renowned professors and to receive a stronger training. It'd change my life as it'd give me the needed background to become the great professional I want to be.
Brazil faces too many issues regarding its social security system mostly because there are a lack of qualified actuaries working there. Being a successful applicant of Endeavour would improve my educational, which would contribute to my ambitions of helping develop Brazilian public health and social security systems. This would make a difference in my life as it would allow me to work in favor of the society, improving the services of those important institutions and benefiting my community. Without Endeavour, I would be prevented to realize my dream of benefiting other people with my daily work.
My first language is not English and, if you find some mistakes, please correct me!