'I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth' - SEMESTER AT SEA PRESIDENTIAL SCHOLARSHIP

Hello everyone! I'm in a bit of a pinch at the moment where the individual who last edited my essay stated that, "Written with impeccable elegance you only glaring problem is I don't see a project but outside of that the rest is fine I suggest you trim some fat and replace it with content on the project." My question and concern now is I planned on mailing it in today and am now second guessing myself, do I not follow the prompt as well as I'm supposed to?

Please answer the following question. Responses should be between 600 - 800 words.

- Semester at Sea's mission is "to educate individuals with the global understanding necessary to address the challenges of our interdependent world." Semester at Sea's core values include:

-ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE, which gives rise to transformative awareness and profound learning experiences
-INTEGRITY and the commitment to uphold the principles of honesty, sincerity, and trust
-INTERCULTURAL EXCHANGE and GLOBAL UNDERSTANDING
-GLOBAL SERVICE in support of local communities and their needs

How do you currently exemplify these values and how do you envision embodying these values on your voyage? ? Include a specific goal and action plan that incorporates both shipboard life, as well as in-port experiences:

o A sequence of steps that must be taken for a strategy to succeed:

- 1. Specific tasks: what will be done and by whom.
- 2. Time horizon: when will it be done.
- 3. Resources allocation: what is needed to accomplish specific activities

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, just your familiar stainless steel set purchase conveniently hoarded by loved ones along the way. Those same loved ones who found the conditions of our motherland unsuitable as a safe environment and opportunities sparse for their children and future youth. Many finding themselves drawn into alien-like countries baffled yet intrigued by culture and language. It is here in the small town of Pawtucket, Rhode Island conditions and opportunity seemed more than promising for some of the family to settle here.

Growing up my sense of identity was transformed from a struggle to welcoming as my shy nature always seemed to get the best of situations. At times in my childhood having been an only child for six years, naively made me think that my thoughts could be read and that words were not of much use to me. From experiences alike I find it no surprise how I've matured into a visual learner, interacting with open-minded creatives in such a supportive community I began to understand my voice.

"Arnheim (1969) considers the visual language superior because it comes closer to the original stimulus than verbal language which is linear and one dimensional, by comparison"

Through the sharing of ideas, self-development and creative nature the work I've produced has become influenced by my true understanding of experience, having visual perspective as a guide.

The values I've developed in my own community have more than equaled my expectations in the core values the Semester at Sea program abides by, urging me to further develop my passion in art into something that could impact others on an international level.

As nomads of the world it can be so easily forgotten other means of connecting with the people of the land were so eager to venture upon. I've always felt my experience as a traveler would be fulfilling for the opportunity alone but somehow still lacking full potential by not verbally being able to interact with some of those I encounter. Words have left a lifetime of stories to the imagination, becoming adaptable and relatable from culture to culture, but for many verbal exchanges arise as difficult when face to face with someone of another tongue. This is where I believe art as a visual language can intervene in such a problem.

Throughout history it has been recorded in ancient cultures how visual language existed even before words grew into the height of importance it has earned today. Showing old methods of mark making on surfaces can still invoke and depict feelings and exchange information within images. To step out of the familiarity of your culture, sinking yourself in another with no restrictions, I believe allows us to link not only with the land but the community. Giving natives a different perspective on foreigners interacting inside their country, instead of only from the standpoint of a tourist.

I want to take this passion further by redefining art as a visual language to approach eschewed groups. This will not only broaden cultural perspective with a new taste for communication on language barriers, but allow personal connections between individuals. My awareness on worldly events only reaches as far as what I've seen and heard through media. Obtaining such on issues regarding battered women, prostitution, LGBTQ rights and gender equality, making my goal to reach out to these groups during the duration of the journey ahead. Here are some statistics and figures on the groups that have fueled my idea.

*I inserted pictures here*

Creating activities that embody the idea of art as a language, such as exploring various forms of art (expressionism, abstract, minimalism etcetera) and combining it with a memory. At the end of the exercise a collection of the pictures would then be discarded (either buried, burned, put into a bottle later thrown into the ocean, whatever action seems to identify with the culture the most) as a memento, sign of leaving the past behind or moving forward. This would allow the group to share their own personal experiences, glimpsing into the memories that they hold strong ties to. In locating such groups I would work independently and alongside staff, faculty and students in the world is your campus advancement program. For input and contributions on how I could strengthen the core of my aims.

I'm not simple. I strive for more than some believe I can accomplish, yes doubt comes along but it's during those times as I arise that I feel more confident than ever. I'm also a dreamer. One who dreams in her reality because even now, nineteen years later, I refuse to believe that my dreams can't be real. Art has shown me this, how I can transcend walls and barriers, connecting those within my vision on a level that becomes their own.

It seems to me that you have written a very detailed essay relating to your scholarship application. The fact that you are using images to emphasis your essay shows that you have thoroughly considered all aspects of the application and have done your best to meet the criteria provided. When one analyzes the content of the essay it becomes obvious that you followed the instructions down to the minutest detail. I believe the previous comment you received relates to the way that you seem to have a number of project ideas that you plan to do while at sea. I think he was expecting you to concentrate on a single project for the whole semester instead. I think that your project,due to its variety and complexity, will be something that you and the participants will enjoy engaging in during the semester.

In my opinion, you should go ahead and take a chance with this essay, submit it and see where it takes you. You will never really know the kind of effect the essay will have on your application until you submit it. Don't try to second guess yourself. You still have the same chance of being either accepted or rejected by the scholarship regardless of the kind of essay you submit. You never know what they are looking for in a participant. So your application comes with a risk. There is no surefire essay that will win you a slot on the ship. There is only an essay that might help secure a slot. Nothing is definite. Take the chance. Otherwise you will always wonder about what might have been.

Thank you so much! You really restored my confidence within my essay, its much obliged having your input.

Thanks again!

Also I have another question regarding the content of another essay question in this scholarship.

I had my uncle edit and read these 4 short paragraphs in response to the question, what he ended up doing in the end was rewriting my whole essay in his own voice. He took out the components of the essay that made it me, its not as if his version is bad its just not mine.

Here is the essay:

What personal qualities would you like to develop to become a more effective leader?

My response:

Qualities I find, that with self-assertiveness could complement ideals seen in an effective leader focus on becoming a better person, attributing that to your own strengths. The voice of being something potentially bigger than yourself gives me life. Upon taking action comes along others who either share your passion or are there for support, this brings me to one of two areas of weakness. I use the term weakness lightly not to condemn myself but by realizing one's own faults only then can a person move forward with confidence in future improvements.

The ability to play the role of delegator is giving yourself less room for error by trusting in the people you surround yourself with, this is a strength that I want to continue to build upon. Trust isn't an easy thing to earn from some and what I've learned up till now is going into an unfamiliar environment or situation and just being honest with who you are and what morals you abide by is a starting point in gaining mutual trust.

Now others will look anticipating a course of action, bringing me to a state of expressing my ideas to those willing to listen hoping that my passion will linger in my words and carve inspiration. As human beings we psychologically search for meaning beyond our everyday tasks seldom coming upon moment where we are struck by figures who move us. I yearn to become such a figure, not only as a youth existing in generation x but as a nineteen year old young adult working towards her prime. My passions have molded me into who I am today and throughout the lessons I have learned in and outside of the classroom having the ability to involve others in such passion pushes me towards communicating a bigger picture.

I come now to a timeless trait that is colored with many types of personalities, confidence. Before a leader takes his march, evokes his ideals into the hearts of the people that same leader has to have belief in himself before anyone takes notice. There is balance within that determines the force of such a powerful trait, by knowing when and how much is appropriate I learn in douses the affect my own demeanor has on how I'm perceived.

His response:

The personal qualities that I would like to develop in order to become an effective leader are assertiveness, trust, excellent communication skills, and strength of character.

Assertiveness, for example, means speaking for or advocating for those who, otherwise, would not speak for themselves because of fear, timidity, or intimidation. Thus, by speaking for and on behalf of the weak and politically and economically powerless, one shows his or her leadership skills.

Trust is another important element of leadership, which does not come easily, but has to be earned. By delegating tasks, activities, and other functions to other is to say "I trust that you will see this to completion." By building this trust in others, it is returned mutually to the one delegating, enabling the realization and accomplishment of many deeds between the delegater and the delegate.

Developing and putting into practice effective communication skills ensure that as a leader, I listen and communicate well with those I have been fortunate or entrusted with leading. This means that I listen without interrupting the speaker and speaking when I have the full and undivided attention of the listener. In addition, by knowing my audience very well, I can custom-tailor my message to ensure that it is well received and responded to in the way that I intended.

Finally, the possession of strength of character ensures that a leader does not lose his or her composure under the most trying and testing of situations, as these situations would and do arise. Thus, by possessing the strength of character, the leader remains unflappable, showing a great deal of emotional intelligence and letting the unfavorable situation define him, her, or character. In summary, these---assertiveness, trust, excellent communication skills.

I'm confused as which to use now

Your uncle's version is much more direct to the point and in line with the prompt. He answered the question about your personal traits that you would like to develop in order to become an effective leader. I believe that you should submit his essay instead because of the way that is speaks highly about the character traits that a leader should have and that you would like to have an develop in order to become a future leader yourself.

I can however, understand if you feel that you uncle's version is not in the tone of voice that you would write the essay in. So here is what I suggest. Rewrite what your uncle said. That way you will be able to use his thoughts but your voice in the essay. Try to see how you can use his words to enhance what you have to say. Say everything in your own way though. Just use his version as the basis for content. By doing this, you will have solved the problem of content and portraying your voice in the essay.

Try it out and see if it works for you. If you have any doubts about your version, based upon your uncle's writing, you know we are all here to help you out :-)