This my essay for Chevening scholarship about Leadership and influence...

This my essay for Chevening scholarship about Leadership and influence... please check it..:)

I was a teacher in one non-government school for 6 years experiences, I used to be a teacher class for two years, when I managed my class for two years , Motivation and encouragement always be my daily lessons for my student. I believe that the best teacher always make a good change for their students. After that I worked as a former teacher, at this position I proposed a good system for this school like database, network system, olympiad classes, with my skills those i have learned from my university, I controlled the system not directly like my principal, but the system i proposed work made a system effective and efficient . For me being a leader means lead someone else to a good path and bring someone else life to happiness.

Hi, I am writing the same essay. You can see it.
I feel like yours are quite...short. Why dont you try go deeper and show what exactly you did and how that worked. Try to sell your essay to the people.Read the essays which are posted here, that should help you.

There are some grammar mistakes, if I am not mistaken, but as I am not native speaker I leave this to others.

I believe that your essay doesn't deliver the requirements of the essay. I do not really see any leadership traits being shared here. Probably because your essay is under developed and does not really delve into a leadership discussion in relation to your application. I believe that you should write a new essay that is based upon this statement that you wrote:

For me being a leader means lead someone else to a good path and bring someone else life to happiness.

In my opinion, this really reflects your idea of leadership and it is a statement that can benefit from your experience as a teacher. Mostly because teachers are leaders by default in the classroom and you are expected to inspire your students to lead better lives through learning. Why not touch on a topic of a difficult student whose learning attitude was touched or inspired by the way you treated him as a student? Show your natural abilities as a teacher in relation to leadership. That would probably be the simplest and most accurate way for you to display your leadership skills in this essay.