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When I Was A Child--Personal Statement



JS2010 7 / 15  
Jan 27, 2010   #1
Okay this is for a small scholarship and there was no prompt. It just says submit a personal statement and I had no clue what to even put down. So I don't know if this is what they'll want but... I want your feedback! Its greatly appreciated!!

When I was a child I knew from the start that when I became an adult I wanted to do something big, or something out of the ordinary. I thought that a life lead with success was the only one worth living. At the age of seven I was set on becoming an astronaut and discovering a planet. At ten my interests stemmed to animals, so I figured I just HAD to be a veterinarian. Doctors make all the money right? At twelve I wanted to find the cure for cancer because I knew I would be nothing short of legendary if I accomplished this task. I craved for too many things and had interests in so many areas that I found it hard to answer the question: what exactly do I want to do when I grow up? That is, until I picked up a video camera for the first time.

Now, most people from here will tell you an epic tale about how they saw things from a different perspective and how everything suddenly fell into place. Well, that's not exactly how it happened.

Back in my last year of middle school I took a full year of TV Production, and though my work was full of jump cuts and continuity errors I loved it all. I gained a passion for film before I had the skill, though it soon followed suit. I didn't love video production because I thought it would bring me fame, or because it would make me sufficiently "successful", I did it because it was fun. Late nights into the early morning of editing footage was just as thrilling as standing behind the lens and obtaining the perfect shot after taking forever to set up the tripod. All the ups and downs, ins and outs of the craft all contributed to my respect and love for video.

I once heard my teacher say "If you've found something you can do for the rest of your life regardless of whether you were paid or rewarded for it, you've found your calling." I believe this statement because I've happened to find mine. Now I'm a senior in high school ready to hit the ground running, so the best way I can move forward is by following my dreams and getting my education. In ten years I know exactly what I want to be doing. Knowing that my future is just on the other side of college is the motivation for me to go to school. With my love of knowledge, and strong determination I hope to go far. I won't let anything stand between me and my education.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 28, 2010   #2
Yes, this essay has real power. I was wanting to start suggesting that you should not go too much into the childhood dreams (i.e. doctors make all the money) but really, everything about this essay is important. I would not want to change it.

It is really inspired, and the reader can tell!

Okay, actually.. get rid of this sentence:
Doctors make all the money right?
OP JS2010 7 / 15  
Jan 29, 2010   #3
Oh shoot that's still in there! I mean to delete that because I had a few uneccessary sentences so I was gonna get rid of them. Apparently I didn't do a good job... Thanks for the feedback and for catching that mistake!


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