Kindly help me with a feed back if I am on point. Thanks
PROMPT:
There is no doubt over the years my home country, has produced one of the best economic growth in Africa. However, there would always be room for improvement as shortfalls have been severely addressed with regards to financial challenges, high rate of unemployment, skills mismatch, Low productivity due to poor human capital development, etc. I intend to contribute to the development of business awareness for university students and help to improve the stability of our economy.
After I earn a qualification in MSc accounting and finance from one of the best Universities in the world: (University Name), I have a plan to secure a place with one of the leading financial institutions, preferably a private sector financial organization that I intend working with for about two years to further broaden my skill set as well as improve my personal character acquired during my study in the UK. Upon my return to my country Ghana, I will seek the opportunity to arrange with university authorities from various institutions to schedule and organize educative programs where I will get the chance to share with the students my skills, knowledge and professional experience gained overseas. I will share with them an in-depth global implication of the course they have chosen to study and help to provide assistance in its application in the job market geared towards developing business awareness for the students and how it can contribute to the improvement of the economy. In that regard, I will seek the opportunity to render my service as a teaching assistant in one of the universities to continue helping the students with all that I gained from the UK.
It has always been a huge part of my plan to undertake a PhD program. I understand the PhD program in accounting and finance will further boost my analytical skills and enhance my research approach. The rationale for undertaking this program is to learn from professionals who have gained real life experience from the field and have applied towards economic development in the UK. Immediately upon completion of this program, I will return to my country and have a place as a qualified lecturer and researcher in a university to help produce highly intelligent qualified and well informed professionals from the field of accounting and finance. Also, I will seek for a place at higher office in the financial sector of government where I can exhibit my expertise on advising the government on financial matters to help make better decisions relating to financial trends
Throughout my time in the UK, I will not be limited to only my field of study but to build a professional network of people from all around. My intention is to ensure that the people I connect with are willing, able and have the potential to invest in businesses in the near future. The idea is to provide all the necessary assistance required for these people to invest in businesses in my country to help the growth of our economy. In addition, I will establish an advisory firm to render a professional consultation service on funding guidance and related services mostly to startup businesses to help graduates who embark on entrepreneurship.
I believe my plans will benefit university student in my country to be well equipped and prepared towards the job market and contribute massively to the development of our economy. I hope during the course of contribution towards development in my country, much will be demanded of me than the aforementioned.
PROMPT:
Evidence how studying at the (University name) will help you contribute to the development of your home country.
There is no doubt over the years my home country, has produced one of the best economic growth in Africa. However, there would always be room for improvement as shortfalls have been severely addressed with regards to financial challenges, high rate of unemployment, skills mismatch, Low productivity due to poor human capital development, etc. I intend to contribute to the development of business awareness for university students and help to improve the stability of our economy.
After I earn a qualification in MSc accounting and finance from one of the best Universities in the world: (University Name), I have a plan to secure a place with one of the leading financial institutions, preferably a private sector financial organization that I intend working with for about two years to further broaden my skill set as well as improve my personal character acquired during my study in the UK. Upon my return to my country Ghana, I will seek the opportunity to arrange with university authorities from various institutions to schedule and organize educative programs where I will get the chance to share with the students my skills, knowledge and professional experience gained overseas. I will share with them an in-depth global implication of the course they have chosen to study and help to provide assistance in its application in the job market geared towards developing business awareness for the students and how it can contribute to the improvement of the economy. In that regard, I will seek the opportunity to render my service as a teaching assistant in one of the universities to continue helping the students with all that I gained from the UK.
It has always been a huge part of my plan to undertake a PhD program. I understand the PhD program in accounting and finance will further boost my analytical skills and enhance my research approach. The rationale for undertaking this program is to learn from professionals who have gained real life experience from the field and have applied towards economic development in the UK. Immediately upon completion of this program, I will return to my country and have a place as a qualified lecturer and researcher in a university to help produce highly intelligent qualified and well informed professionals from the field of accounting and finance. Also, I will seek for a place at higher office in the financial sector of government where I can exhibit my expertise on advising the government on financial matters to help make better decisions relating to financial trends
Throughout my time in the UK, I will not be limited to only my field of study but to build a professional network of people from all around. My intention is to ensure that the people I connect with are willing, able and have the potential to invest in businesses in the near future. The idea is to provide all the necessary assistance required for these people to invest in businesses in my country to help the growth of our economy. In addition, I will establish an advisory firm to render a professional consultation service on funding guidance and related services mostly to startup businesses to help graduates who embark on entrepreneurship.
I believe my plans will benefit university student in my country to be well equipped and prepared towards the job market and contribute massively to the development of our economy. I hope during the course of contribution towards development in my country, much will be demanded of me than the aforementioned.
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