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Courage to Grow. The Essay wants to know why i deserve the scholarship. Max 250 words



kingandre17 1 / 3  
May 23, 2013   #1
I am not the best at writing essays, in fact essay writing is my Achilles heel. Please be brutally honest while criticizing this.

In this day and age being raised by a single parent is not unheard. In fact it's common. I am one of those unlucky children who were not raised in a home with a mother and father. I did not get the luxury of witnessing a partnership between two people who love each other, a bond that would help each other prosper even in their time of need. Instead I witnessed the hardships of a struggling mother, attempting to raise two children on her own. This is when I found strength in my mother. Watching her take control and doing what is right for my sister and I. My mother went back to school and became the nurse she always wanted to be. She proved to me that there will be many obstacles in my life that may stop me from achieving my dream of becoming a doctor. Showing me it does not matter how hard you fall, but what really matters is how you pick yourself up and start again. I apply these lessons in my everyday life. Such as taking leadership and running for Student Council President. Even though that was a battle lost; I can proudly say I tried and failed rather than to not try at all.

I am a strong candidate for this scholarship because my background has shaped me into a persistent leader who is not afraid to fail, but rather fail and learn from his mistakes. This scholarship can give me the opportunity to attend a four year college and obtain a degree. This degree will personally be the first stepping stone of me getting into Medical School and continuing my education to becoming a doctor. The significance of this scholarship is not only a way for me to obtain a degree, but it is way for me to gain a brighter future and having a home of my own. One that contains a mother and a father who will love each other unconditionally and give back to their children just as my mother did for me. The Courage to Grow Scholarship is a gateway to a life I never had as a child. It is also a way for me to better my education and excel to my greatest potential.

dumi 1 / 6793  
May 23, 2013   #2
I am one of those unlucky children who were not raised in a home with a mother and father.

I too belong to that category of children who did not have the luxury of complete families.

I did not get the luxury of witnessing a partnership between two people who love each other, a bond that would help each other prosper even in their time of need.

I never had the pleasure of experiencing the love between my parent and feeling secured in an hour of need.

Instead I witnessed the hardships of a struggling mother, attempting to raise two children on her own.

Instead, I grew up watching my mother's endless struggles to raise me and my brother (or sis)
OP kingandre17 1 / 3  
May 24, 2013   #3
thank you Dumi! but is that all ? also what do you think of the essay overall? im willing to make improvements.
dumi 1 / 6793  
May 25, 2013   #4
I feel some ideas are repeated .... this is what I suggest;
However, this helped me admire my mother's courage and determination. With all challenges at home front she bravely resumed her studies to realize her dream of becoming a nurse and she did it. She proved that you can live your dream no matter how hard the goal is; You may slow down, but you can always resume from the point where you stopped if you want to pursue your dream.
Didgeridoo - / 289  
May 25, 2013   #5
This is a good start, but there are some things that need more explanation, as well as some things that can be taken out. I would shift the focus of this essay from your mother and her accomplishments to you and yours, because the essay is asking why you deserve the scholarship.


Home / Scholarship / Courage to Grow. The Essay wants to know why i deserve the scholarship. Max 250 words
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