Can anyone please review my essay for me? This is a common app essay. Thanks!
My year as an exchange student in the US
Many people laughed at me when I decided to leave my family and my friends for a year. They thought I was crazy and I would have never made it through ten months away from what has been my life for seventeen years. But I knew it was the best decision for me and now after I finished my experience in the United States, I can say that it was the best decision I ever made.
I was right, my junior year as a foreign student in America was memorable, inspiring and full of life-changing moments. People thought I would never make it through ten months in a big city like Austin, Texas because I come from a little town in the north of Italy, where people are not open mind-minded and everyone knows everyone. I had a chance to understand how is like to attend a school with more than 2500 students, where most of them come from different countries like me. I met people with different cultures, coming from Asia, South America or Eastern Europe. I had a chance to live with a kind host family and have extraordinary adventures with them. We had a long road trip from Texas to Illinois, stopping in Kansas and Tennessee. I celebrated the Passover and learn more about Judaism with my host dad but also Thanksgiving for the first time in my life.
Living abroad, alone for the first time when you are only a teenager is not easy but I was surrounded by people that help me when I felt homesick or sad. I become more confident about myself and understood what are my goals and what I want to do in the future.
A year in America taught me how to be responsible and independent. I learned how to do household chores, how to manage my money and its value, and how to deal with problems on my own.
Looking back at my life as an exchange student, it's hard to believe what I accomplished in only ten months. Although it has been more than a year, all the memories are still bright in my mind. Sometimes, I just need to look at some pictures to remember how happy and grateful I was to be there. This experience has shaped me to a new person, more open to new adventures and ready to adapt to different conditions.... have never made overcome/ surmounted it through ten months ...
R]But I knew it was the best decision for me[/R] However I ... now afterI finished fully experiencing the life in the United States, I can say would have to say that it is the best decision I have ever made.
... are not open mind-minded and everyone knows everyone each other
I had a chance ... 2500 students I already figured out how the education of a 2500-student school was
I had a chance to live with ... : you repeated " had a chance" so many times. -> It is truly my marvelous/magnificient/fabulous opportunity to live with....
... and learnt not only more about Judaism ...
... I felt homesick or sad. supported and stimulated me at any time when I encountered homesickness or bad moods.
I became more confident about myself self-confident and understood what are were my goals and what I want to do in the future. what achievements I desperately wanted to gain for my prospects.
how to manage my money and respect its value
it's hard to believe : an unclear expression
