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Describe how you have demonstrated leadership ability both in and out of school.


Being a leaders means to have the ability to compromise, the ability to listen well, and the ability to empathize. I have influenced people to make them feel compromise to themselves. When I was still in High school, I would always want to participate in after school activities to talk to other students about the importance of education and how crucial it is to continue chasing your dreams after high school. I would share my experience as an Undocumented student, how hard it will be for me to get to where I am right now in college. I always wanted to persue higher education, but it would not be easy, I don't qualify for Federal Financial Aid. Most of the students had it easy because they were U.S citizens, or held a green card visa, but still they didn't think about continuing with higher education. Most of their plans were to either graduate from High school and get a job, or Join the military. I always told them, You never know what you are capable of achieving, until you try it.

I have demonstrated leadership with kids that I work with at El Buen Samaritano. I teach them new things, I listen to their needs and try to help them achieve those needs. I give them many suggestion of what they can do better or improve in their homework. I guide them for a good and healthy path in life, so that when they are old enough to make their own decision, they'll opt for the right decision.

you use too many "I". try to avoid it.

I teach them new things, listen to their needs

Do not use short forms like don't or it's. It is not acceptable in essays, and also by using full forms you will increase the number of words in your essay.
Being a leaders means to have the ability to compromise, the ability to listen well, and the ability to empathize.

Because you start with this sentence, it makes the reader expect that the theme of the essay will involve telling about these three qualities. It will be great if you can add some sentences throughout the essay that refer to some of these qualities to describe your leadership experiences.

Like this:
...I listen to their needs, apply patience, and try to help them achieve those needs. muster the determination to fulfill their potential.

Keep these words as your theme throughout the essay, and it will be a memorable essay. :-)
i didn't read the whole thing, i just wanted to mention that it is spelled 'pursue', not 'persue'. always use spell check and read it over very carefully. such minor mistakes may reflect poorly on your application.
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