Describe how you plan to give back to your community after your grduation.

Prompt: In 500 words or less, please describe how you plan to give back to your community and help fulfill the needs of your community after you've completed your education. How would your plan impact not only your immediate community, but also a broader one?

Tzu Chi Foundation, is an international humanitarian organization whose mission is to relieve the suffering of those in need, and create a better world for all. Tzu Chi Foundation not only delivers material aids to the needy but also is a strong believer and pioneer in preserving the environment in order to protect the mother earth. Having been part of the Foundation since I was nine years old, I have formed a personal commitment to the people I worked with and to the Tzu Chi Foundation as a whole. Through the activities organized by the Foundation, I have learned the balance of giving and receiving and the importance of environmental preservation.

After earning my bachelor degree, I will work together with the Tzu Chi Foundation to provide humanitarian aid to those in needs in our local communities as well as overseas communities. Although I am not able to participate in every disaster relief by showing up in the front line, I can contribute in the back through fundraising. As a college graduate with a degree in accounting and as a Certified Public Accountant (CPA), I will use my knowledge and experience to help organize fundraising events for the Foundation to raise charity fund for use in both local and oversea community for the needy. Besides organizing fundraising events, I will also provide financial advice to the Foundation. I will use my knowledge as a CPA to make sure all the fundraising events are organized in accordance to the local laws and regulations, as some fundraising events organized that are legal in other countries maybe illegal here in the United States.

Millions of individuals in the world are affected the damages human being has done to the environment such as physical waste like metal cabinets, plastics components and etc. Through the Foundation's "Recycle and Reuse" program worldwide, the Foundation managed to raise millions of dollars worldwide every year for its charity funds to help the needy. This program is an effective way in reducing the physical waste and at the same time protecting the environment. I will strongly encourage and push for this "Recycle and Reuse" program to the local community to raise awareness of environmental preservation and at the same time raise money to the charity funds to help the people in needs.

Mun, rather than introducing the foundation and the work that they do in the community, you should reverse the essay to instead present how your participation in the foundation will help the community. So you have been working with the foundation since you were nine. I expect that your volunteer activities there have evolved along with the maturity that comes with your age. Base your response upon that. I would also like you to consider a non profession related contribution that you can make. These can be in terms of actual volunteer work or even pro-bono services to those in need, all done through the foundation of course.

Your conclusion should circle back to the way that the work you will do for the foundation will help the community in general. It should not further discuss the activities of the foundation. Right now, the essay is focusing on the wrong topic. Your contribution to the community, whether within the foundation or outside of it, is the focal point of the prompt. So the focus of the essay, which is solely on the foundation and its activities, should be revised to reflect your sole participation in giving back to the community instead.

@Holt
Thank you for the advise, I will rewrite this essay.

@Holt
Following is the revised essay. I am not sure if I am following the prompt requirement this time, but please let me know if anything I can do to improve this essay. Thank you for your time and comments.

Mun, let me see if I can help you direct this essay by showing you an example of how I would write it. Maybe you can learn from the example I will be setting for you. Here we go:

After I graduate with my degree in accounting, I plan to go back and help my community. You see, my community is filled with wonderful people who all look forward to starting their own businesses. However, they don't have their own accountants and they can't afford to pay for their accounting needs. Now, these are the very same people I grew up with. Who took care of me while my parents were at work by baby sitting me. They gave me part time jobs growing up so I could buy things I wanted when my parents did not have the money. I owe them a lot and I plan to give back to them in the best way I know how. By keeping their books and doing their accounting work pro-bono. By doing so, I will not only be able to thank them for the help they gave me as I grew up, but I would also be able to help our community grow in terms of investments and proper tax payments. Proper tax payments, that's why I'll do my work for free for them. They are good working people who need to pay the right taxes, but also keep a profit for themselves. I know other accountants can't do that for them because they don't know these people like I do. So I'll give back to them by giving them a part of me for as long as they live, my accounting side.

That is just an example of how you can develop a response to the essay. I hope my sample can help you develop an original one of your own. Best of luck!

@Holt

Could you please help to give me some comments on my revised essay below? Thank you.

One of the many benefits of receiving an education is the opportunity that it will give to a person to help others in their community. Obviously it does not take an education to contribute to one's community, but the additional training, education, and acquired skills from a career and a college degree can enable a person to give back in unique ways.

After obtaining my bachelor degree in accounting, I plan to give back to the community with the knowledge I obtained from the study of accounting. I want to be able to help the community that had raised me during my time living in the United States. I would like to help the city where I am living put on free educational workshops on finance for individuals in the community. By doing this, I can share with the community the financial management skills I learned from the college so that they can better manage their own financial future.

Besides working with the city to setup free finance workshop, I would like to volunteer myself to my college to organize free small business workshops. These workshops will be dedicated to helping low income entrepreneurs whose business is operating on limited budget get their legal, accounting and business advice from faculty, students and alumni like me. The workshops will do things like helping the entrepreneurs prepare business plans, complete grants requests and file their tax returns. These workshops will not only help small business or start up entrepreneurs to understand the reality of their business idea, but also help them become successful.

By conducting these pro-bono works will help me get perspective about the true needs of people that cannot afford a full paid accounting service, and also perspective on how valuable the pro-bono work is. Most importantly, it deepens my connection with how valuable the pro-bono work is to the overall economy.