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Details of any other experience/information which you consider relevant to your application

bolarinwa 2 / 2  
Apr 16, 2017   #1
@ Holt and rest please i need help with this personal statement for scholarship (Please give details of any other experience/information which you consider relevant to your application and a statement explaining why you feel qualified to study for the degree and how you expect to benefit from it. (Approximately 500 words).

my ambitious plans

Allow me first, to express my deepest gratitude to Bradford University Scholarship Programme for allowing me to take part in the selection process. Throughout my life I have always been passionate about contributing to the conservation our earth. It became clear to me upon entering my university career that my focus should be in agricultural sustainable development. When I learned about this program I became ecstatic. Partaking in this unique opportunity will prepare me for my future career goals and aid to my growth.

Kindly allow me to briefly elaborate the reasons why I feel qualified for this scholarship. I consider that I can get valuable knowledge about the determinant factor of sustainable development. And I also believe the course will give me the opportunity to deepen my knowledge about legal and policy aspects. The program is taught through collaboration between academics with world-class expertise in diverse aspects of satisfy human food and fiber needs, enhance environmental quality and the natural resource base upon which the agricultural economy depends, make the most efficient use of non-renewable resources and on-farm resources and integrate, where appropriate, natural biological cycles and controls, sustain the economic viability of farm operations, enhance the quality of life for farmers and society as a whole and gives students an opportunity to learn about a wide range of problems in climate change, food security, soil health, land degradation ecosystem services and their application.

I come from a very low income. Thus I do not receive any financial support from my family and little from the State government to fund my university education. Therefore my financial needs are very high. Throughout my life I have strived to achieve my goals solely on hard work and determination. For example, the last five years that I have attended school I have struggled to pay my tuition and have been working while attending school. However, I feel like this makes me a stronger person and gives me greater passion for what I am trying to achieve.

Furthermore, the outline of this program will help my country to recycling crop waste and livestock or treated human manure, stop using chemical fertilizers (which contain salt), improving water conservation and storage measures, no-till farming, growing windbreaks to hold the soil, incorporating organic matter back into fields, protecting soil from water run-off (soil erosion).

At the end of my study, I believe that I can contribute to the development of Nigeria in area of sustainable agriculture. Becoming a minister of Federal Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development in the next 10 years is one of my long-term plans, so I am ready to take this place and get involved with my hard work and best efforts. Hopefully, with suitable courses that fit with my interest and prior education, my study in Bradford University would lead me into a brighter future to give a valuable contribution to Nigeria.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Apr 18, 2017   #2
Bolarinwa, your essay does not satisfy the qualifications for the scholarship information. I do not read any relevant work experience on your part, which is the main requirement of the prompt. In order to qualify for this scholarship, you have to show that you are working a field that directly relates to your chosen masters degree and you can justify a career progression using this particular certification. There is no true discussion of your abilities in relation to the masters degree nor an acceptable reason as to why you feel qualified for the scholarship. Being from a low income family no longer justifies a scholarship grant because all of the scholarship applicants are from low income families, are hard working students, and feel entitled to the scholarship. There is no unique reason for them to award you the scholarship at this point. It is not about how the scholarship can help your country but rather, how your studying this masters course will help you to help your country. The second paragraph does not justify your qualifications for the scholarship because you just enumerated the course outline, which doesn't tell the reviewer about your qualities and traits that make you a good candidate for the scholarship. Discuss your accomplishments in your college days and your current profession instead. By having notable accolades, you will be able to justify the prompt requirements.
okorobiadimma14 6 / 82 50  
Apr 22, 2017   #3
Bolarinwa, while I consider your current draft a slight improvement on your previous post, I must say that you are not there yet. Kindly remove the citations in your first and second paragraphs and do not include any in your subsequent posts, as they are not needed in this kind of write-up. Citing an article in your essay means that there must be a reference section in your draft, in which case it is no longer a statement of purpose for scholarship application. By the way, removing the citations does not mean that your current draft is good to go because it does not truly reflected any professional or college achievements. Stating your position as an Agricultural Officer and general activities of farmers in Ijesha is not enough to convince the reviewer that you the best candidate for the scholarship. Being specific with regard to your achievements in relation to your position could serve as the best approach. As an Agricultural Officer, did you in any way partake in a project (or field activity and so on) that relates to your desired master's qualification? What was the project? What role did you play during the period? Was the project successful or not? How will acquiring this qualification benefit you with regard to improving the project or making it successful (if it failed earlier) and enhance your career progression. In trying to answer the following questions, keeping in mind the previous advice from Mary, I hope you should be able to come up with a draft that would be compelling enough. Please don't use the statement " Allow me to express that I do strongly believe...". The evidence you provided in your statement will do just that for you.

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