Discuss leadership experience - Gates Millennium

Gates Millennium Scholarship
Word Count: 264

Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life: school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become a leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals? (1000 words)

I joined my school's newspaper during my junior year to build a solid foundation of writing skills. Journalism was a change from normal English classes but I adapted. As a journalist, I began writing with purpose, presenting ideas, meeting deadlines, and connecting with my audience.

By becoming adjusted to the new environment, I sought other roles with more responsibility. I approached my teacher with my career goals and how I could gain more experience within the course. Being a member of the student relations committee has improved my communication skills. My primary role as a liaison between the administration and students is planning and advertising events. This taught me how to collaborate and compromise to accomplish tasks. Being a camera operator has improved my media literacy skills. My primary role as a broadcaster is streaming board meeting to the community by filming. This has taught me how to network and expand my media handling field. My senior year, I became an editor and copy editor. Being an editor improved my analyzing skills. My primary role as an editor is assisting the editor-in-chief with editing with content and flow. This has taught me how to read with a different perspective. Being a copyeditor has improved my grammar and journalism skills. My primary role as a copy editor is editing for grammar and AP style. This has taught me how to read with a different perspective.

The core of both journalism and my desired field of public relations is storytelling, analyzing, and conceptualizing ideas. An education in journalism both prepared and expanded my public relations expertise.

Paragraph 1

could be better your phrases replaced by:
my junior year : my junior high school year
build a solid foundation of : to enhance my writing
was a change from : is different with
writing with : to write by writing a

Gates Millennium Scholarship
Word Count: 484

Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life: school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become a leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals? (1000 words)

I joined my school's newspaper my junior year to enhance my writing skills. Journalism was a change from normal English classes, but I began mastering the concepts by using the other staff members as guidance. I asked for their feedback for my articles' structure, interview questions, and guidelines. Soon after I adjusted to journalism's environment, I approached my teacher with my career goals of becoming a publicist and asked how I could gain more knowledge in communications.

Returning to my school's newspaper for a second year, I was promoted to assistant editor-in-chief. I initially expected more responsibility after advancing to an experienced staff member; however, not a role this large. My primary tasks are reviewing articles' content and flow while copy editing for grammar and AP style.Though I was anxious accepting the position, I knew my teacher chose me because of my initiative. As an aspiring publicist, I began advocating for public relations lessons in our curriculum and a student relations committee to oversee the newspaper's promotions. Also, with my networking as a camera operator and non-sports representative for our broadcasting team, our newspaper has acquired community contacts. I realized that my efforts made me qualified.

I also realized that I had to approach my role with confidence, especially since the staff transitioned from veterans to mainly new students. With the new additions, mistakes were made. For example, in one news cycle, I found that three students plagiarized their articles. I was first suspicious by the off-topic writing and links to other websites during my first round of edits. Instructing the journalists about the severity of their actions, I hoped to resolve the issue calmly. However, at the final stage of edits, no changes were made. Though I was upset, I assumed they were overwhelmed by the challenging specifics and needed guidance. I met with the students to learn why they plagiarized so I could focus on clarifying and easing any concerns.

I joined my newspaper staff as the core of both journalism and my desired field of public relations is storytelling, analyzing, and conceptualizing ideas. As a journalist, I've began practicing such by writing to inform and presenting ideas. Becoming the assistant editor-in-chief has improved my analysis skills by teaching me how to read with a critical perspective. As a prospective publicist, I will have to examine solutions to implement the best solutions and write effectively to inform and persuade. Also, in journalism, I've learned how to communicate well by collaborating with the staff, my teacher, students, and the administration. In public relations, I'll use my communications skills as a liaison between my client and the media. With being a leader in the newspaper staff, I've combined consideration and self-assurance to delegate well; this is a feature that will aid in me being a proper publicist. Because journalism and public relations skills overlap, I've been able to develop proficiency for my future.

typically, initiating a essay with "I" instantly leads the reader to not expect an extraordinary piece (even though it may as very well be)

Start with something more captivating that will drive the reader to drive further into your work.
good use of diction and upper level words
Hope this helps and best of luck

This is definitely not a leadership experience essay. This is an essay about your ascent up the school paper ladder and your concern for school issues at the time. I never sensed you taking on a true leadership role. Bill Gates is a leader among his peers. That means that he is looked up to add a leader. He knows how to both give and receive commands for the completion of his projects. That is the kind of leadership you have to present.

Think of a time when you liked a class project or community service activity. Can you explain why you were chosen to lead? How did you lead the group? What was the outcome of result of the activity? Do you think that it further influenced you career goals? Can you explain why? Those are the facts your essay should present. Instead, you just told the story of your work in the school paper. Which has no relation to your leadership abilities at all. Change the story to a more relevant one.