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Scholarship essay about my educational goals, reasons for applying, and how I would help my country



abdo65619 1 / 8  
Apr 7, 2018   #1
the prompt: A short essay - of about 500 words in English - giving reasons for applying for the OFID scholarship, explaining your educational goals, and clearly describing how you will use the experience gained from your Master's degree studies to help in the development of your home country.

OFID scholarship application



I got my bachelor of engineering (Honours) in mechanical engineering (Power). I aspire to get the master degree to increase my knowledge in the renewable energy and the design of mechanical systems fields, as my courses will be focused on them. This will allow me to be able to design complete systems to transform the available free energy into utilizable forms; solar and wind energies systems. Moreover, the degree will assist me in my pursuits to initiate an organization for energy researches; learning from the best in the USA, which is considered a leading country when it comes to scientific researches. Also, the master degree will be a stepping stone for the Ph.D. which would qualify me to contribute in the policy of the energy and industrial sector in my country from powerful positions.

After getting my degree I intend to work in the development of energy systems (solar and wind) for irrigation and domestic purposes. The irrigation systems will reduce the cost of crops production, since it has no operational costs, therefore, reducing the food prices for the citizens. In addition, the cheap irrigation systems will encourage the farmers and the government to grow wheat in the northern Sudan where the environment is more favorable for that than in Al-Gazira scheme. This will increase the productivity of the wheat and help us as a Sudanese to reach the self-sufficiency of wheat. Another benefit of the solar and wind energy irrigation systems is that they are environment friendlier than the diesel-powered water pumps.

Regarding domestic purposes, many parts of Sudan especially rural areas do not have access to the national electricity grid. For that, my organization will be concerned on providing a reliable projects for solar energy systems for electricity in the different parts of Sudan; we are going to design the projects to meet the demand of the specific regions, then presenting the projects to the government and the international organizations that concerning with the development in the rural areas to fund the projects. This will help in reducing the rates of technological illiteracy in Sudanese students, in rural areas and states that do not have a steady electricity supply, by providing stable supply of electricity through our systems what will allow the use of computers and other labs related to different fields in the regional universities.

I have decided to apply for OFID scholarship for main two reasons; firstly, I have felt no pressure while writing my essay, as many scholarships has specific criteria for their candidate, I found that OFID suit my ambitions and passion. And this would be very helpful to build stronger channels between the OFID and my organization, in the future, to support our pursuits to eradicate poverty, hunger, and illiteracy in Sudan and the whole world. Secondly, OFID does not require taking the studies in specific institutions. This represents an advantage for the candidates, as they will study in their dreams schools the programs that best fit to their skills and passion, without the need to adjust one mind to specific universities just to get the scholarship.

hlautz 1 / 1  
Apr 10, 2018   #2
Below are my edits.

I obtained my bachelor of ...

I believe it should be master's degree throughout.

After completing my degree, I intend to work ...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Apr 11, 2018   #3
Abdulrhman, the first two parts of your essay are well within the prompt require information. You present a very strong case for your scholarship candidacy in terms of your academic goals and future application within your workplace. However, your reasons for choosing the OFID scholarship as your educational sponsor will be considered weak and irrelevant. Just because it was easy for you to write the application essay and the scholarship does not require you to enroll in a specific institution does not mean that your academic and professional reasons align with the OFID goals. You must revise that last part of your essay to better align your academic goals and professional interests with the OFID scholarship program. Once you strengthen the connection between the program and your academic and professional interests, then your essay will be in a better place to represent you as a masters degree scholarship candidate.
OP abdo65619 1 / 8  
Apr 11, 2018   #4
Thank you for your invaluable feedback. I will do my best to improve my essay.


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