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Endeavour Scholarship Essay (MS Data Science)



lennonmenace 2 / 4  
Oct 23, 2018   #1
Enhancing the Internationalisation for Australia's education, training and research sectors. (maximum 300 words)
Explain how the Masters program will enhance collaborative partnerships with key institutions in India
Describe how these partnerships will strengthen the capacity of Australia's education, training and research sectors
Outline any anticipated educational, social, economic or other benefits.


The versatility in the implementation of data science in different fields allows for endless development and innovation. A boom in structured data has caused prediction strategies and optimization to become the fulcrum for business and socio-economic achievements. With the set-up of the AISRF (India-Australia Strategic Research Fund), major collaborative projects in agriculture, renewable energy and marine sciences can be interwoven with data science for socio-economic benefits. Additionally, collaborative research between India and Australia on new concepts like AI and Cloud Computing can boost Australia's entrepreneurial facets.

India has a population of over a billion people, and 70% of this lives in rural areas. Despite 40% of the country's workforce in agriculture, the industry contributes a meagre 16% to the GDP. This disproportionate performance in agriculture is caused by a myriad of failures, one being the paltry R&D initiation. With the onset of precision agriculture: "increasing efficiency and productivity through scientific approaches to planting, fertilizing, and harvesting" as mentioned by Brand Niemann, Indian agriculture could heavily benefit from data science applications in farming resulting in an increased agricultural productivity. This includes predicting and preparing for crop calamities caused by the anthropogenic global climate change, genome research through data analysis: making farmers aware of how their seeds would react to a particular disease and how to intervene. These research initiatives directly align with the Aid Investment Plan, South Asia Regional Development Program. Additionally, they provide Australia with new research avenues, involving agricultural advancements in a contrasting economy and terrain.

A Masters in Data Science from The University of Melbourne will enhance my theoretical knowledge, enabling me to apply analytical concepts innovatively. In addition to the academic value, the program will also establish a cross-cultural context, strengthening the existing global and diverse educational environment making it more open-minded and socially acceptable.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Oct 24, 2018   #2
Suktri, your closing paragraph should be better developed to become the opening paragraph of this response essay. As I read it, I came to realize that this paragraph has the establishing information for the actual prompt response requirements. That is why I do not believe it should be the end presentation but rather, the establishing paragraph for the rest of your responses. Using a transition sentence at the end in relation to the second paragraph will then create a smoother transfer from one prompt response to another.

Basically, I think you have the essay paragraph presentations in reverse. The last should be the first, the second should stay in place, but the first paragraph should become the closing paragraph instead. That way you create a more interesting representation of your response which, although not in outline format based on the prompt presentations, still responds to the questions in a manner that better ties the whole essay presentation together.


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