'enhancing my knowledge' - Scholarship Application For: Ruth Roy Scholarship

I am suppose to answer how will the scholarship help me.

Plz give me feedback thanks!

Here is the criteria for the application
Please answer the questions above in essay form. There are no length restrictions but longer statements don't necessarily add value -- just be sure to cover each of the questions asked in your written answers.

Here's what the committee will look for in awarding the scholarship:
- Quality of written statement
- Sincerity of purpose
- Evidence of persistence
- Good investigation of goals and opportunities

Here is what i said:

Receiving this scholarship would help me by giving me an opportunity to attend a class at the 2012 UW Robinson Center Summer Challenge to enhance my knowledge. I would take "Feel Those G's: The Physics of Roller Coasters" class, so I can understand the physics of designing and building a roller coaster. Or I would take "To the Moon and Beyond!" class, and learn about the solar system and surrounding galaxies and learn about the physics of rockets and rovers. The scholarship would also help pay off some of the tuition fees for the class I would be taking. The scloarship would help me by enhancing my knowledge and help pay tutuion.

Receiving this scholarship would help me by giving me an opportunity to attend a class at the 2012 UW Robinson Center Summer Challenge to enhance my knowledge. ---This is boring and goes without saying. Of course it will enhance your knowledge, but you should start with an interesting sentence, one that conveys the importance of the scholarship. Like, 'Receiving this scholarship will mean everything for my future!' It also seems that you're not sure what you want to study. What is your main goal, as far as college is concerned? What is your intended major? The middle of your essay is okay, but the first and last sentences should be rewritten in an interesting way. You don't need to tell them what they already know. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)