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I have excelled in Science; Gates Millennium Scholars



magnifikakim 1 / -  
Jan 16, 2013   #1
Prompt: Discuss the subjects in which you excel or have excelled. To what factors do you attribute your success?

Everyone has special abilities and talents. Whether or not we choose to accept these talents is completely up to us. We live through our lives being criticized over what we can and cannot do and different things motivate us. Subjects that came naturally to me were Science and literature. I feel as though I succeeded in these subjects because of my background and career wants.

I come from a Mexican family who highly respects and values the educational system. In the United States, citizens have choices as to what schools they want their children to attend; there are private schools, public schools, charter schools, and an alternative to those is home schooling. In Mexico, most families are not wealthy. They struggle to live by every day. My parents were those children. They had to work to get food into their stomachs. That is why neither of them finished elementary school - they had to work on their parents' farms and work in local stores. Now that my parents are older and wiser, they realized how important getting an education was. By telling me about their struggles, I myself have realized how important it is to have an education.

I have excelled in science, because I enjoy learning almost about anything that has to do with the living. Organisms help me feel alive - in a way, just knowing that they exist, makes me realize how delicate life is. The core classes of science include biology, chemistry, and physics. These classes were easy to me; it is as if my brain was hardwired to naturally take in the information I learned in these classes. Sometimes, I feel as though I have forced myself to love science because of what I want to become in the future. In the next ten to twelve years, I see myself as a plastic surgeon. Whenever I tell someone I want to be a "plastic" surgeon, they always ask why - they wonder why. It is almost hard to tell someone why I have my wants, but it is because of a way I was born. I was born with Poland syndrome. Poland syndrome is when a person is missing a pectoral muscle and on that same side, they have a deformed hand. I was one of those lucky ones - my syndrome does not affect me as much as it could have, because I have seen others with my syndrome in a worse situation.

Ever since I was in kindergarten, I realized that I was different. I was ashamed of myself. I did not understand why I had to be born differently. I did not understand why I was made fun of, why I was the target to bullies. I remember running home from the bus stop and into my room, only to hide in my closet. As sad as that sounds, it was my safe haven. I lived in California at the time and my family of four lived in a small apartment. I hated being different. I hated it with a passion. I have always wanted to be a doctor because I was different. When I was eleven, we went to a plastic surgeon in Atlanta, Georgia. By then, my family and I had relocated to Georgia. The fact that a plastic surgeon told me my syndrome's name for the first time in my life inspired me to know exactly what I wanted to be in the medical field. To become a plastic surgeon, I knew I had to like science. My Poland syndrome is the strongest factor as to why I succeed. Ever since I was in elementary school, I had hardwired myself to like the science field. It is not because of the money surgeons make or because I want to change myself, but it is because I want to help those who cannot afford cosmetic surgery and are feeling horrible about themselves.

Another subject I continue to excel in is literature. Writing is a powerful way to express your emotions. It is essential to history because it informs us of the things we never lived through. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps us sane is words. Whenever someone reads something I write, they claim to say that I am a good writer; but what exactly is a good writer? Is there such thing? Is there even a wrong way to express how we feel? During my early years of puberty, I was struggling with life. I thought of everything in a negative way. A factor that helped me stay sane was creative writing. I would, in a way, compose small stories with strangers on the internet. It is known as "role-play", but that terminology has been twisted in today's society. I did not sexually role-play; as most people think it is, but rather, I composed stories that I thought could occur after books. You see, when books end, there are not really good endings to stories. Stories can always be altered and bettered with different minds. So, in a way, role-play helped me with my writing. I would write stories every day to a different person and because of that, my writing improved. I have learned how to express my thoughts and feelings through literature in its many forms.

Success comes in many forms. Some people may think I am successful, while others do not. Science is a subject I have excelled in because of my personal wants and beliefs. My syndrome, Poland syndrome, has inspired me to become who I am today. I have been prosperous in literature because I learned techniques to keeping sane, but ultimately, my success is because of my surroundings.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 20, 2013   #2
Everyone has special abilities and talents.

Everyone has special talents in one thing or the other.

Whether or not we choose to accept these talents is completely up to us. We live through our lives being criticized over what we can and cannot do and different things motivate us

I feel this is a bit over told. If you have a word count constraint you should leave this lines out. I don't see any harm in having the next line after the very first one :)

Subjects that came naturally to me were Science and literature.

For me, I found my talents in the subjects of science and literature.

. I feel as though I succeeded in these subjects because of my background and career wants.

This sounds confusing.... I suggest you to re-phrase


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