"What excites you" question. Does the answer reflect values, inclusivity and tapping into potential?

EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY MASTERCARD SCHOLARSHIP

1.We want to hear what excites you and what you are passionate about. Please write about a topic that is important to you and how this reflects your personal values.

Word limit: between 50 and 250 words.

Autism, Down syndrome, Albinism and many more disabilities are largely ignored and yet prevalent. A person born with such defects is considered a curse and subjected to a life of finger pointing, exclusion and stigma. They are simply that kid. A kid who, by means out of his control, is locked in his own prison. The lack of education and many superstitious beliefs that are there does nothing better to alleviate the situation.

Over the past few years I have been with special need children at the Mchombe Play Center. Specifically helping them integrate them ordinary kids so as to give them a holistic and normal child upbringing that any child deserves in the world. I, wanted to include them in this amazing phenomenon called life. I helped them interact better with their peers and develop their communication skills.

It is undoubtedly a sad reality that children remain some of the most marginalized people in this modern era. Worse if you a minority with a minority, you are simply out of the picture.

Hence with our differences and disability comes uniqueness that is often overshadowed by the many societal norms. With patience and time, their behavioral pattern had made a significant improvement a testimony that they too are capable of anything .

Admirabilis, what i took away from this essay is more of what interests you rather than somehing that you are passionate about. Yo took the aademic discussion to the point of dullness. Your writing did not excite me as a reviewer because there was nothing beyond an interest in helping these kids declared in your essay. You need to make this essay come to life somehow.

You claim that you work with these kids. That's great. That's where the passion should come from. How do these kds change your life? Your outlook about the people with secial needs? What drives you to help them coming from these interactions. Don't just tell us they are special. Show the reader how their uniqueness has triggered a passion in you that sparked a change in your personal values. Be specific. You need this discussion to engage the imagination of the reader.

Thank you Holt for your feedback. I am sure I will work on these to improve my response and send it for feedback again.