I have financial constraints for pursuing a tertiary education; SCHOLARSHIP/ Reasons

The reasons I apply for the scholarship.

Continue my study to tertiary level with the help of scholarship is very significant to me as it is the way to make my dream come true. One of the reasons for me to apply this scholarship is because I believe that I deserve this scholarship.

"When you do the best, God will do the rest" - this quote is the lamp that guided me, and always will, throughout my academic career. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt when I missed lessons due to falling sick. I never wanted to let classes go unattended. I never wanted to put off my studies until the exams reached close. I was always responsible, enthusiastic and organized student. I had a big dream since my young days. I want to be a learned man and serve my nation. This vision of mine motivated me to excel in studies. During high school studies, I got the highest score in a Chemistry quiz competition organized by my school. I was chosen to represent my class to participate the Chinese calligraphy competition and I got the second prize for that. And I have done reasonably well in SPM examination due to my hard work. I believe that I deserve this scholarship because I am diligent in my study.

As the saying goes, "All works and no play makes Jack a dull boy". I was never a "dull boy". I have had taken part in many activities which held by different society or clubs, I was then be given chance to organize activities with others and lastly I was given the opportunity to be the president of St. John Ambulance in my school, vice treasurer of Chinese Language Society,and Lollipop Chairman of Interact Club. These positions and the activities I had taken part taught me how to manage my time well in order to maintain my good grades while engaging in extra-curricular activities. More than everything else, it taught me to be an excellent team player. It is not a problem for me to complete a task in group, and to maintain my academic performance while participating in other activities.

Now that I finished high school and equipped with all qualifications and credentials to pursue tertiary education. However, I now face the biggest hurdle of finding support to finance my further education. My father's sickness brought many financial hardships to our family. Him being the only bread winner in our family, I have no one else to turn for support. William Penn said, "No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown", I am so agree with his words. I know that it is not an easy thing for me to just give up my dream, so that I would not give it up and try my best to find a way out. This is why I am so keen about winning this scholarship that would help me live my dream for me, for my community and for my country. I do hope I can get this scholarship to continue my tertiary education. For me, scholarship is not only the money for my education fees but is also an invisible staircase which makes me step closer to the success. Thank you.

dumi, look forward to your comments :)

i'm really appreciate for your willingness to check my essay all the time, thanks..

.... well-off family means that it's a rich family. So your argument sounds somewhat contradicting.

.... Well... I think you need to change the order of your ideas.... Financial constraints may be your most important reason for applying the scholarship. But you better come to that point a bit tactfully. First tell them how keen you are to pursue a tertiary education and how well you deserve that opportunity. And then say, these financial constraints are the biggest barrier for achieving that .

dumi
ok, i will correct my essay and hope that you can check for me again~ thankyou very much! :)

.... well... I am not in favor much for this line. For me, it does not add much value to your sentence.


I have been pretty patriotic since my young age. For this reason, I remember swearing to myself that I would one day become a person who could contribute to my community and nation. This is why I am so keen on continuing my studies to tertiary level that would equip me with the necessary tools

again you talk about your drawbacks in detail. That may not help you with your claim for this schol. Tell them why you deserve the scholarship. I think it is dangerous to talk about your weaknesses (though they had been with you in the past and not any more) .

ok,i got it :') really thanks for your reply and give me these helpful advice even thought my essay is very lousy. thanks for help. i will try hard to write a better one and please be my marker again :)

Sure I will :) .... It's not as lousy as you think and has lots of potential to improve.


Pay attention to what I suggested in my previous comment. Tell them how passionate you are about continuing your studies. Add feelings and emotions when you explain that. Then talk about your achievements, credentials, skills and abilities that would convince them that you deserve an opportunity to study further. Then tell them about your financial constraints.

Waiting to help with your new draft ;)

Let's give these information to them indirectly.

Let's begin the response like this;
"When you do the best, God will do the rest" - this quote is the lamp that guided me, and always will, throughout my academic career. I still remember how uncomfortable I felt when I missed lessons due to falling sick. I never wanted to let classes go unattended. I never wanted to postpone studies until the exams reached close. I was always responsible, enthusiastic and organized student. I had one big dream since my young days; I want to be a learned man and serve my country. This vision of mine motivated me to excel in studies ???(now tell about a few academic accomplishments)

"All works and no play make Jack a dull boy"; I was never a "dull boy". I have had taken part in many activities which held by different society or clubs, I was then given chance to organize activities with others and lastly I was given the opportunity to be the president of St. John Ambulance in my school. These activities taught me how to manage my time well in order to maintain my good grades while engaging in extra-curricular activities. More than everything else, it taught me to be an excellent team player.

Hope this helps... :)

ok, thank you so much,dumi :) your ideas and comments always very helpful to me...:)