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Gilman Scholarship Personal Statement Essay, study in China


Judes H 1 / -  
Feb 21, 2019   #1
Personal Statement
1. Why do you wish to study or intern abroad and what factors led you to this decision? What do you hope to gain from and what do you anticipate will be the impact of your experience abroad?

2. Describe your study or intern abroad program. What factors led you to select this program and length of study?
3. Why have you chosen your country of study? What factors led you to select this country?
4. How will this study or intern abroad program and the coursework you take abroad impact your academic and future professional goals?
5. Are there any distinctive components to this program, beyond coursework, that will impact your overall learning experience abroad? (i.e. home-stays, internships, field research, volunteer activities, extra-curricular activities, etc.)

6. What challenges, if any, did you face in your decision to study or intern abroad? How did you meet these challenges and what impact do you foresee them having on your experience abroad? These could include, but are not limited to, being a parent, being a non-traditional student, having a learning or physical disability, being in a field of study for which it is difficult to incorporate study abroad, etc.

Hello I was wonder what I should add or take out in my Personal Statement as can seen below. I would also love help with grammar.

an inspiring interpreter like myself



I am applying for the Gilman scholarship to study abroad in China at the Shandong University of Science and Technology. I am currently studying at the University of Vermont as a Chinese major and Asian Studies minor student. The Chinese Language Program at my university was offering this study abroad program and I knew it would be a perfect opportunity for me. This program, not only will help me excel in my Mandarin, but it will also help me complete most of the credit requirements for my major and minor. I plan on becoming a Chinese interpreter after I graduate. Studying abroad in this program is a great advantage for an inspiring interpreter like myself. There is no better way to learn a language than to dive right into a country where it is their native language. Studying abroad will not only give me the opportunity to learn Chinese culture academically, but through city life, exploring, sightseeing, the people, the food, and so much more!

In this program, I will be taking intensive Chinese language courses and as part of the program, I will have a native Chinese-speaking student language speaking partner. At my university am also part of Chinese-speaking student language speaking partner program. With my current partners, I was able to not only enhance my Mandarin proficiency, but my partners also enhanced their English proficiency. With my partners in Vermont, I was able to show them around Vermont while also enhancing in my Chinese. Having a partner in China should be different since they would be the one showing me around!

When applying for the program I had a difficult time deciding if I wanted to study abroad or not due to financial subsidies provided by my university. The Green and Gold scholarship is an academic merit award given to the valedictorian of the graduating class. As a recipient, I was awarded this scholarship which provided me with full-tuition to the University of Vermont. This program, being a direct enroll study program, this scholarship will not be able to travel with me. I decided to take a leap of fate.

Being also a first-generation college student studying abroad ┬║has always been a goal/dream? of mine. My sister always regretted not being able to study abroad when she was in college. She pushed me and told me to think if it weren't for the money you would go right?

Studying abroad with the Chinese Language Program will be a valuable experience for me. Studying abroad will help with my major, language skills, and it will also help me in my future career path.

MoMaAb - / 1  
Feb 21, 2019   #2
Hello I was [wonder], I'd suggest "wondering"
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,661 1998  
Feb 22, 2019   #3
Judy, this essay explains your decision to study abroad very well. However, your motivations for studying abroad, your plans for your career after in relation to the study abroad plan, and a host of other information in the essay are too simplistic to be considered true factors that led to the decision you have made. Being a current scholar under a different program, why did you feel that it was alright to take a leap of faith and leave that scholarship behind? Why do you feel that this study abroad program will be the best way for you to learn how to become an interpreter?

From what you have told me in this essay, there is nothing that you are learning in your current university that would prove an educational betterment by going to China. There are even similar programs such as "language buddies" in your statement. Therefore, I do not believe that you are a qualified candidate for the scholarship. There are too many factors going against your application based on this essay.

Let's be blunt. You wrote a personal statement based upon what you wanted to say to the interviewer, if this had been a formal interviewer without information guidelines. The problem is, there are 6 questions supplied for the writing of this discussion. 6 questions that you failed to properly, strongly, relevantly, and engagingly respond to within the current essay. To better your chances at the scholarship, you must make sure that you write responses to all 6 questions being asked.

The way I read your essay, it appears that you selectively responded to the questions, which makes the personal statement short of being useless to your application. Review the questions, respond to all of these questions, then we shall see if your essay will become any stronger and competitive in presentations. Make sure that the motivations and reasons you present are strong for studying abroad. Then create an academic goal or goals for studying abroad that you feel cannot be addressed at your current university. Then think of how this will improve your chances of becoming a sought after interpreter after you graduate. What is the professional goal ? Eye on the prize. What is that ultimate achievement that can be had from winning this scholarship and studying in China. BTW, be specific about the region you will be studying in since there are several forms of Chinese language available. Since you are focusing on Mandarin, make sure your essay information reflects the importance of that choice.


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