Hello! Here is the personal statement that I sent when I first applied to GKS. I am planning to apply again this year and it would mean everything to me if you could provide constructive criticism and point out areas where I may improve. Thank you!
GKS - U SCHOLARSHIP PERSONAL STATEMENT ESSAY
Throughout my 19 years of existence, education has played a pivotal role in shaping both my personal and academic path. It has afforded me the opportunity to build new connections and engage in enriching experiences. As the youngest member of my family and the only one still pursuing studies, I have been ingrained with the thought that education should never be taken for granted. I think of education as something within my control to shape a better future. Witnessing my siblings embark on careers they are passionate and driven about after completing their higher education has served as a driving force, further motivating me to excel academically.
I have frequently found myself on the edge of being average throughout my academic journey. While my peers easily excelled in their extracurricular activities, I struggled to sustain a consistent pattern of achievement. I have willingly embraced a variety of endeavors. Demonstrating consistent academic performance, I was selected to undertake journalism training during my 5th grade. I was not, however, selected to take part in the competition itself. Similarly, in the 8th grade, I ventured into a volleyball camp where I was unable to discover genuine enthusiasm or excel in the sport, consequently settling for a spectator role. But in my 12th grade, I had the honor of competing in a school-based spelling quiz bee competition. I came in fourth place, which is commendable, but I was only a few points away from taking first place and going on to compete and represent my school.
Despite the setbacks, I still chose to be determined to persevere and establish my own path. Each stumble and setback served as a stepping stone, moving me ahead to explore the limits of my potential. Surrounded by the constant triumphs of others, my mediocrity became a spark for change, proving that it is my persistent spirit and unrelenting devotion to self-improvement that determines my absolute worth.
Growing up as a wallflower and always recognized as the "most timid" person in my class, I decided to rewrite my story considering the consecutive rejections and setbacks encountered - specifically during my college entrance admission process. These rejections and setbacks have had a big impact on how my character and attitude on life have developed. They have helped me develop attributes like resiliency, tenacity, and a strong sense of self. When faced with difficulty, I have discovered how to become stronger, reevaluate my plans, and efficiently work toward betterment. People all around me, especially my siblings, have consistently shown their belief in me, and that has been incredibly helpful in fostering my ambition to succeed and thrive not only in my academic endeavors but also in this complex journey we all called life.
Learning natural science is a continuous process. I have been interested in the field of scientific discovery since I was in 7th grade because it reminds me of the great power and beauty that exists inside the pursuit of knowledge. Natural science, particularly physical therapy, has an amazing ability to captivate the mind. Understanding the intricate relationships between muscles, bones, and nerves, as well as how treatments can restore function and relieve pain, gives me a sense of purpose and motivation. I appreciate learning in a field that allows me to challenge the existing state, widen the possibilities, and imagine a future in which people live healthier, more rewarding lives.
My strong interests for natural science and technology have driven my involvement in club activities, specifically focused on this field. I have actively participated and was a former member of school-based clubs, Information and Communications Technology (ICT) Club in 9th grade and Math and Science (MAhuSCI) Club in 11th grade, where I had the chance to work with like-minded people and engage in learning experiences. These activities have improved my technical skills while also fostering my ability to work in a team, analyze critically, and solve problems.
My life journey has been shaped by a curiosity and a genuine love for gaining knowledge. It is this motivation that has driven me to take a step towards the Global Korean Scholarship Program with the aim of pursuing a fulfilling and meaningful education in the field of natural science. Through academic experiences I have gained a profound understanding of the intricacies of the human body. I am enthusiastic about expanding my knowledge and honing my skills while bringing my perspective and passion to your vibrant and forward-thinking university. With a dedication to growth, I am prepared to tackle challenges head on and make the most out of every opportunity, for both personal and academic development. The prospect of studying at your institution fills me with excitement.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,844 
4785 The first thing I will advise you to do is write a totally new essay. Do not rehash your old information when completing a new application. Improving it will not help because you will still be retaining the old information. Instead, offer up a new essay, indicate that you applied before but did not make the cut. Then proceed to inform the reviewer about the changes that you have made since then that should have helped to make you a more viable candidate for this years application cycle. Remember to work that information into your responses to the guide questions. By the way, since this is a university track application, spend time discussing the reason you chose this university in connection to your desire to study in Korea. That is missing from this presentation.
