"I'm going to change the film industry forever!" -help forming my final paragraph

"I'm going to change the film industry forever!" I said this a few years back when someone asked me what I wanted to do when I grow up. Now the time is finally here and I'm going to Georgia State University as a film major. It's time for me to start living my dream.

I grew up in Decatur, Georgia. It's an area right outside of Atlanta. I've always been entertainer even as a child. I modeled and was actually in a commercial. This continued throughout my teenage years. I took acting classes at the Alliance Theatre in downtown Atlanta and I participated in the drama program at my school. All of this acting grew into a great love for film. I love film because of the freedom it gives you to express yourself. You can make a film about anything that you want to.

One of the major problems with the film industry today is the tremendous lack of diversity. All of the movies are either sequels or remakes. There are hardly any new ideas nowadays. I will change that immediately. I have several ideas for films that will knock the socks off of the audience. I would also star and direct my own films like one of my idols, Spike Lee.

Speaking of Spike Lee, there is a real lack of African-Americans in the film industry today. There are very few black actors starring in films and even fewer blacks directing them. It's time for a new generation of black actors and directors to take over Hollywood. I will spearhead that revolution after I graduate from GSU.

There's only one problem, how am I going to pay for this education? A few years ago this wouldn't have been a problem. My mom was a supply chain manager at Bellsouth and she was making a six figure salary. Multiple sclerosis brought all of that to a screeching halt. She was diagnosed with MS in 2006 and it devastated our family. She had to retire early because the disease debilitated her health. My father is the only one that's currently working and he doesn't make enough to put me through college by himself. I don't qualify for financial aid or grants. My parents can't afford to put me through school so I have to rely on scholarships to pay for college. Without scholarships I don't know how I am going to pay for my education.

As I embark on the first step of my life long journey

Can you write a sentence about how you would live your dream, what is it?


What is your best film idea? What is your new idea, what specifically would you change immediately?


How would you do this and what do you wish to accomplish from this revolution?

Your last paragraph is about asking for help to finance your education. What do you think would convince the reader to support your scholarship? How have you helped to support your family or to finance your education up to now? I still did not get the feel for why film and Why GSU (I'm assuming that the scholarship comes from GSU.)

I agree! It will be great to add that sentence to the end of the first paragraph.

Also, it will be great to use a colon here:
There's only one problem: How am I going to pay for this education? A few years ago this wouldn't...

:-)