Is this a good motivation letter?

I am applying for a scholarship and they need a motivation letter to tell them why I should go. I would really appreciate it if you gave me a little of your time to read it and tell me what you think of it :)

* If you find any mistakes please tell me :)

Dear Madam, Sir,

"Know what you want, work to get it, then value it once you have It." one of the best proverbs I follow to achieve my goals and ambitions, starting from my early teenage. Ever since I was a student in high school, the major of study I wanted to take after high school was clear to me. Many difficulties faced me, but I could overcome all to achieve my dream in studying the major I want, Computer Engineering; I am very passionate about programming, mathematics and any computer related stuff.

I live in Jordan and I graduated from high school with an average of 95.3 percent. In Jordan, it is well common that the higher the student's average is, the more probability that he/she chooses the faculty that requires high averages in high school, usually regardless what the student's dream is. According to my average and this tradition, I was supposed to get into the major with the highest average, medicine. Yet I chose to get into the faculty of Engineering, ignoring all criticisms and oppositions I received.

I would like it if you gave me the chance to spend the next semester at University of Minho in Portugal. I am applying for this program for many reasons; firstly, it will be a great opportunity for me to learn new programming languages, improve my mathematical skills and learn more and more about computers. Moreover, it will mean a lot to me and my future career prospective.

Nevertheless, it will give me the chance to improve myself and probably learn a new language. I also enjoy meeting new people and learning more about different cultures.

It would be an honor for me to be accepted in Erasmus Mundus program and I honestly hope to get this chance to study abroad because of its many advantages.

Sincerely,

Natali

This is how I think about for your essay:
1. you can add in how you feel or think about for the university, like ranking, good facilities, and wonderful environment to study there.
2. it probably just me, but I feel that your 2nd paragraph sounds a bit sarcastic, like you belittle that the faculty of engineering is inferior to medicine, I would avoid mentioning this part if I were you.

3. you can talk about your future plan, like becoming a programmer or someone professional, and hope to do something impressive, blah blah blah.

that's all, if you are kindly enough, will you look through my essay and give me some opinion? I will be much appreciated. dun worry about criticizing me, it's better to add in some strong point than to miss the chance for a scholarship^^