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Graduate Scholarship essay - Within every person lies some form of diversity



bday15 1 / -  
Apr 29, 2014   #1
Question is - In what way would your identified diversity contribute to the community of _______

Please help critiquing/editing my response!

Within every person we see lies some form of diversity. If this was not inherently true, we would all be identical robots with no feelings, thoughts, or dreams. Diversity is synonymous with variety and there is no better word than that to describe our world today. There is something about every person in the world that sets him or her apart from the rest of the population - the task therein is finding what makes you unique. Race and ethnicity are what immediately comes to mind when asked about diversity because that is what we grew up learning about. However, the world today is much broader than what you look like and where you come from. I am proud to live in a world today that is becoming more intrinsically based, where we want to know more about what people think and who they are on the inside.

Based on this argument, I belong to every identified diversity group. I am different from every student at _______ and every person in the world. How do you say what is the norm and what is the minority? I think this self-realization of diversity will help contribute to the community feel of ________ because I welcome and understand the individuality of everyone I meet. I think this appreciation of self-expression is embodied in the philosophy and teachings of _______ and I can help contribute to this healing and comfortable environment. Accepting yourself and others for the individuals that they are is the first step in fostering a positive and diverse environment. As Ola Joseph, a popular motivational speaker, has said, "Diversity is not about how we differ. Diversity is about embracing one another's uniqueness."

Thanks!!

dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 29, 2014   #2
Within every person we see lies some form of diversity.

Within everybody, there exists some form of diversity.

Within every person we see lies some form of diversity. If this was not inherently true, we would all be identical robots with no feelings, thoughts, or dreams. Diversity is synonymous with variety and there is no better word than that to describe our world today. There is something about every person in the world that sets him or her apart from the rest of the population - the task therein is finding what makes you unique.

Well, this section does not make much meaningful contribution to the answer for your prompt. These sentences talk about more general stuff and does not answer your prompt which asks you how your diverse background would contribute their community. It is important that you talk to the point.


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