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Hispanic Scholarship Fund-Describe a recent academic challenge you have faced Essay



jcartwright93 2 / 3  
Oct 31, 2010   #1
HCF Scholarship Essay- Describe extracurricular activities you have been involved in.

The Test that Changed My Life

Last week my class was given the scariest of all tests--- physics. This test could have scared Chuck Norris. A week later the test were graded. When our teacher came out of his cave the class became consumed in quiet. A stack of papers containing our tests came marching toward us. One by one he passed them out. When my classmates received their tests, some almost went to the bathroom in their pants, some fell out of their chairs, and some glistened with a smile. Finally, my teacher came to me and gave me my test front facing down.

Physics was a class I suffered outstandingly at. From day one I felt like I was learning another language. It was so difficult for me to understand this subject. At first I did not care, but one day I received a progress report. On the front was a fat D-. My eyes almost imploded when they saw this grade. This was a huge wake up call. I realized that it was my senior year and it was not the time to hinder my progress. I took action by trying to find ways to understand physics better. I tried reading the chapter with a more open mind. The only result I got was that I knew the material better, but still did not understand it.

While I was at church one day I came across an older gentleman. We started chatting and during the conversation he told me he had a passion for physics. A light bulb in my head turned on. This is what I have been looking for all along. I told him that I was having a hard time understanding physics. He told me to give him a call next time I was stuck on a problem. One night while I was staring right through my physics assignment I remembered that I could call up that man from church. I called him up and told him the problem. We went through it together step-by-step with him explaining it to me in great detail. After an hour on the phone I became a new man, a man that didn't just know physics but understood physics. I thanked him for his time and promised I would tell him how my next test went. After that day I took each physics assignment with ease, conquering each problem like I was Chuck Norris fighting an unarmed opponent.

The day had come when it was time for the next test. I was ready; I knew the material and I understood it. My teacher passed the tests out and I blew threw the pages so fast that there was a few ashes I had to hide under my table. As I walked to the front of the room to turn in my test I felt accomplished that I had taken the initiative to find a solution to my problem with Physics. Now I had to wait to see if all the work paid off.

I flipped it over and my mouth dropped. A big fat A dressed in red was on the top of my paper. I felt very pleased inside. This result happened because I took the initiative to seek out help past my comfort zone. The older gentleman's assistance gave me enlightenment to the subject of physics. His simple to the point teaching method allowed me to understand it. Thanks to him I overcame my academic challenge in physics. From this experience I learned to go past my usual resources and seek out new ones.

starfire 1 / 3  
Nov 1, 2010   #2
Don't mention Chuck Norris. It is unprofessional for this type of essay and looks adolescent.
What does this mean "the class got consumed up in quiet" reword this confusing phrase.
"some almost peed their pants " silly, rephrase

"had a passion for physics. A light bulb in my head turned on."
"...explaining it to me in great detail ."

There are a few other simple gramatics at the end. I don't think it's constructive to say u went dancing in people's face that you got an A.

Also, it took just one conversation to understand pyhsics? That arguement seems a little unrealistic. you may want to address the time that it took and hard work to get the concepts.

Overall, not bad. Needs some work, but not bad at all. Good luck!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Nov 10, 2010   #3
Don't mention Chuck Norris. It is unprofessional for this type of essay and looks adolescent.

Ha ha, do you mean to say there is never a time when Chuck Norris should be mentioned in an admissions essay? I think it is a good way to express the scariness of something. I know what starfire means, but I also think it is an interesting detail.

...like I was fighting a samurai warrior who didn't have a sword.---Ha ha, very good, but it might be even better to continue the Chuck Norris theme:

...like I was Chuck Norris fighting an unarmed opponent.

Ha ha, this is the part that is unprofessional. Maybe you should leave this part out: I jumped for joy and ran around the classroom shouting...l Instead of ending this way, end by reflecting on the significance of what you learned from that guy... the discovery you made that helped you get A's.It was like physics enlightenment. That is a cool theme.


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