I know this is lengthy, but if you have time and patience please assist me, thanks! :)
Due December 15
Essay #1 Wants to know how my "Hispanic heritage" has influences my academic/career goals in the short term and long term. (400 to 600 words)
My response was:
"No, you're too dumb to understand something like that." This statement has been reiterated to my parents more times than I can remember. Why does such discrimination exist? Why is it that not having a college education characterizes an individual as useless? Those wayward glances, peering eyes, and haughty facial expressions have all been directed at me while grocery shopping with my mother. What it means to be a first generation college attendee is so much more than congratulatory hugs and graduation presents. Attending college will liberate me from the sympathetic looks and despicable half-frowns. I shall no longer be the Hispanic girl who was not gifted enough to attend college. I will give my family name the respect it deserves. No longer will we be pitied, and no longer oppressed.
Walking those hallowed halls of my college campus, I'll breathe the air of limitless intellectual capacity. I will savor that air of impartiality. When I see someone in need of comfort, I will assist them. When someone simply needs direction I shall do my best to guide them. Just like my wise 'mami' always tells me in her broken English, "Be kind but don't allow anyone to trample you."
My eyes have seen different sights, my ears have heard other tongues, but I shall soon be a college student on the path to greatness. Presently, I aspire to receive an excellent education in a suitable college where I can attain a major in science. In the long run I plan to serve others with the knowledge I cultivated while in college. Serving others is the purest form of utilizing the knowledge I have acquired over the years. Not only is it fulfilling to aid another person, but service has the unique power to impact the world. Examples are set and people learn the significance of volunteering. Giving a helping hand to those in need also provides for personal growth, both cerebrally and spiritually. Through my own experience serving others I learned the importance of compassion and service. My involvement in packing food for the organization "Feed my Starving Children" left me with an impression that will remain in the depths of my memory forever. I expected to pack enough food to feed a handful of children, but working alongside with others, we were able to feed 346 children every day for an entire year. Those children will no longer wail for the nutrition their mothers cannot provide for them. My hope is that in seeing one person aid another, a chain effect with take place in which every person performs a selfless act of kindness and the world will slowly begin to change for the better, one person at a time.
In my life I wish to help those in need by using my acquired knowledge to benefit communities that need it most by providing people with quality healthcare. I hope to acquire a doctoral degree, not because of the praises and recognition I will receive, but because it will allow me to impact someone's life, family, and community. I can give back to the Hispanic community I grew up in. I will not be like those that looked down upon me because my parents had not received a proper education in their countries. To alleviate someone of pain, especially that of hunger, makes living life worthwhile. When I reach my dream of being a doctor I do not simply want to see people as mere patients without identities. I want to serve them.
Essay # 2 wants to know about my "participation in extracurricular activities" and what I have "learned from [my] experience(s)" from which
(Examples may include: community service, volunteer work, employment, school clubs, sports, family, church, etc.) (400 to 600 words)
I answered the prompt with:
Previously, when I volunteered at the hospital I would count down the minutes until I could sign my name out of the touch-screen and dart home without glancing back. I had never felt comfortable in such an educated atmosphere. Doctors rushed past me and their degrees, diplomas, and experiences elevated them to a level of godliness. I preferred cleaning the toys to loitering with the patients. Truthfully, I felt insecure amongst the myriad of intellectual individuals; they behaved casually, they were so naturally confident.
On a particularly drowsy morning, the head nurse requested that I visit a patient whose parents were away working. At that moment, fear, anxiety, and insecurity slammed their weight upon my body and I was instantly numbed. I had no choice but to face Goliath, yet in my mind I scrambled through endless lists of questions. I contemplated, "What if he doesn't like me?" along with "What if he senses my awkwardness and begins to fuss?" and "What if he points out my imperfections?" The heaviness of my legs was unbearable as I dragged myself toward his closed blue door. Turning the icy door knob, I trembled as I envisioned what awaited me on the other side.
In that dim chilly hospital room, what I encountered was not Goliath but a freckled faced boy of six years whose only battle was against his devastating illness. Under the stiff washed out blankets every area of his little frame was attached to cables, but all he wanted was a playmate. I regained confidence and made it my duty to see that he wear himself out from playing. I began our play date by cutting his stack of pancakes into miniature triangles that he could easily chew, and watching his favorite movie, Bolt, with him. After, we played "Jumpin' Monkeys" the board game, we colored and painted, and we made animal noises so loud that the nurses stationed nearby were flabbergasted. The more time I spent amusing my little buddy the clearer it dawned upon me that entertaining this patient was my responsibility; it was what I had signed up for. Over the course of a few hours I had become a leader, a caregiver. My fears had undergone a metamorphosis; they had become devotion.
At the moment I felt like I was walking into an awful situation, but in reality was actually changing an unpleasant circumstance into a delightful experience. As a volunteer, it was my obligation to overcome my worries and gladden all the patients that needed enlivenment. These beliefs are still impressed upon my heart and I'll carry them with me through every situation, role, and location. Although I never saw my little playmate after that day, I think about the lesson he taught me. Apprehension leads people to forget about their responsibilities and their purpose, but a risk well-taken culminates into maturity, perseverance, commitment, and strength.
Lastly, Essay # 3 asks me to "Describe a recent academic challenge" I have encountered and how I trumped through it and endured ( "overcame.") (400 to 600 words)
I responded:
At times I honestly believe the word "multi-task" was created to describe the way I function. I thought I had made a horrible mistake by choosing five advanced placement classes for my senior year. I mean, really, everyone else would be enjoying their senior status and catching the common senioritis virus lingering through the purple hallowed halls of my school. Believe me, I tried to change my schedule but it was too late. I had crossed the Rubicon.
These few weeks I have endured overwhelming stress, just as I had expected I would since the summer before school began. Juggling with honor societies, soccer, advanced placement classes and a tutoring job is enough to make me want to pull out my hair. However, through all the stress and sleepless nights, I thought about why I am even going through all of this. I need to try my hardest and show that I can handle any academic workload on order to achieve my career goals. Even though I feel tired many times I always think about the "A" I will receive if I just push myself a little farther and strive for excellence.
My biggest blow came on October 21st. I had been applying to a certain scholarship since summer and had released sweat, tears, and blood in order to finish every essay and have my trifecta of recommenders turn in my letters of praise. My friend who applied as well sent me a text message while I was in soccer practice when she received feedback from the scholarship organizers. She was overjoyed, she was a finalist! If she made it, I thought, I am a shoe-in! However, when I got home that night I opened my electronic mail, I was stunned by the the first five crushing words I read, "We regret to inform you..." That's it, I thought, my only hope of traveling out-of-state to attend college is over. I wept. I had never felt so disappointed in myself. "Was it my grades?" I thought to myself. At school, I could not even look my finalist friend in the eyes, I was a failure. Days passed and again I asked myself if all the hard work I have been doing was for nothing. I was not satisfied with accepting the rejection from that scholarship and sulking. No, I affirmed, I am going to achieve my goals even if I was rejected for a scholarship. I thought about others who had failed and yet went on to do extraordinary things and achieve greatness. I thought of Abraham Lincoln losing his initial political races yet becoming one of our countries highest esteemed President. Albert Einstein's testimony motivated me as well. Even with dyslexia he changed the world with his theories and research. Mental motivation pulled me through my academic trial.
I now write this essay in hopes of acquiring this crucial scholarship knowing that I am not an academic protégé, but I am bright and hard-working. I may not have the highest standardized test score in the universe, but I am dedicated. I do not have the most prestigious schools in the world granting me full scholarships to their school, but I know that I can reach any academic goal I set up for myself if I disregard my failures and endure in my journey for educational excellence. I have been rejected for a scholarship, but so what? I can apply to many more, and I believe I can achieve. At the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, my failures have taught me to overcome my scholastic challenges. It is true that the path of least resistance is a mental rut already made, I can testify to it.
Thank you so much for taking some time out and reading an essay or two, reading them all, skimming the essays, opinions, etc. lol Your feedback is appreciated greatly !!
Due December 15
Essay #1 Wants to know how my "Hispanic heritage" has influences my academic/career goals in the short term and long term. (400 to 600 words)
My response was:
"No, you're too dumb to understand something like that." This statement has been reiterated to my parents more times than I can remember. Why does such discrimination exist? Why is it that not having a college education characterizes an individual as useless? Those wayward glances, peering eyes, and haughty facial expressions have all been directed at me while grocery shopping with my mother. What it means to be a first generation college attendee is so much more than congratulatory hugs and graduation presents. Attending college will liberate me from the sympathetic looks and despicable half-frowns. I shall no longer be the Hispanic girl who was not gifted enough to attend college. I will give my family name the respect it deserves. No longer will we be pitied, and no longer oppressed.
Walking those hallowed halls of my college campus, I'll breathe the air of limitless intellectual capacity. I will savor that air of impartiality. When I see someone in need of comfort, I will assist them. When someone simply needs direction I shall do my best to guide them. Just like my wise 'mami' always tells me in her broken English, "Be kind but don't allow anyone to trample you."
My eyes have seen different sights, my ears have heard other tongues, but I shall soon be a college student on the path to greatness. Presently, I aspire to receive an excellent education in a suitable college where I can attain a major in science. In the long run I plan to serve others with the knowledge I cultivated while in college. Serving others is the purest form of utilizing the knowledge I have acquired over the years. Not only is it fulfilling to aid another person, but service has the unique power to impact the world. Examples are set and people learn the significance of volunteering. Giving a helping hand to those in need also provides for personal growth, both cerebrally and spiritually. Through my own experience serving others I learned the importance of compassion and service. My involvement in packing food for the organization "Feed my Starving Children" left me with an impression that will remain in the depths of my memory forever. I expected to pack enough food to feed a handful of children, but working alongside with others, we were able to feed 346 children every day for an entire year. Those children will no longer wail for the nutrition their mothers cannot provide for them. My hope is that in seeing one person aid another, a chain effect with take place in which every person performs a selfless act of kindness and the world will slowly begin to change for the better, one person at a time.
In my life I wish to help those in need by using my acquired knowledge to benefit communities that need it most by providing people with quality healthcare. I hope to acquire a doctoral degree, not because of the praises and recognition I will receive, but because it will allow me to impact someone's life, family, and community. I can give back to the Hispanic community I grew up in. I will not be like those that looked down upon me because my parents had not received a proper education in their countries. To alleviate someone of pain, especially that of hunger, makes living life worthwhile. When I reach my dream of being a doctor I do not simply want to see people as mere patients without identities. I want to serve them.
Essay # 2 wants to know about my "participation in extracurricular activities" and what I have "learned from [my] experience(s)" from which
(Examples may include: community service, volunteer work, employment, school clubs, sports, family, church, etc.) (400 to 600 words)
I answered the prompt with:
Previously, when I volunteered at the hospital I would count down the minutes until I could sign my name out of the touch-screen and dart home without glancing back. I had never felt comfortable in such an educated atmosphere. Doctors rushed past me and their degrees, diplomas, and experiences elevated them to a level of godliness. I preferred cleaning the toys to loitering with the patients. Truthfully, I felt insecure amongst the myriad of intellectual individuals; they behaved casually, they were so naturally confident.
On a particularly drowsy morning, the head nurse requested that I visit a patient whose parents were away working. At that moment, fear, anxiety, and insecurity slammed their weight upon my body and I was instantly numbed. I had no choice but to face Goliath, yet in my mind I scrambled through endless lists of questions. I contemplated, "What if he doesn't like me?" along with "What if he senses my awkwardness and begins to fuss?" and "What if he points out my imperfections?" The heaviness of my legs was unbearable as I dragged myself toward his closed blue door. Turning the icy door knob, I trembled as I envisioned what awaited me on the other side.
In that dim chilly hospital room, what I encountered was not Goliath but a freckled faced boy of six years whose only battle was against his devastating illness. Under the stiff washed out blankets every area of his little frame was attached to cables, but all he wanted was a playmate. I regained confidence and made it my duty to see that he wear himself out from playing. I began our play date by cutting his stack of pancakes into miniature triangles that he could easily chew, and watching his favorite movie, Bolt, with him. After, we played "Jumpin' Monkeys" the board game, we colored and painted, and we made animal noises so loud that the nurses stationed nearby were flabbergasted. The more time I spent amusing my little buddy the clearer it dawned upon me that entertaining this patient was my responsibility; it was what I had signed up for. Over the course of a few hours I had become a leader, a caregiver. My fears had undergone a metamorphosis; they had become devotion.
At the moment I felt like I was walking into an awful situation, but in reality was actually changing an unpleasant circumstance into a delightful experience. As a volunteer, it was my obligation to overcome my worries and gladden all the patients that needed enlivenment. These beliefs are still impressed upon my heart and I'll carry them with me through every situation, role, and location. Although I never saw my little playmate after that day, I think about the lesson he taught me. Apprehension leads people to forget about their responsibilities and their purpose, but a risk well-taken culminates into maturity, perseverance, commitment, and strength.
Lastly, Essay # 3 asks me to "Describe a recent academic challenge" I have encountered and how I trumped through it and endured ( "overcame.") (400 to 600 words)
I responded:
At times I honestly believe the word "multi-task" was created to describe the way I function. I thought I had made a horrible mistake by choosing five advanced placement classes for my senior year. I mean, really, everyone else would be enjoying their senior status and catching the common senioritis virus lingering through the purple hallowed halls of my school. Believe me, I tried to change my schedule but it was too late. I had crossed the Rubicon.
These few weeks I have endured overwhelming stress, just as I had expected I would since the summer before school began. Juggling with honor societies, soccer, advanced placement classes and a tutoring job is enough to make me want to pull out my hair. However, through all the stress and sleepless nights, I thought about why I am even going through all of this. I need to try my hardest and show that I can handle any academic workload on order to achieve my career goals. Even though I feel tired many times I always think about the "A" I will receive if I just push myself a little farther and strive for excellence.
My biggest blow came on October 21st. I had been applying to a certain scholarship since summer and had released sweat, tears, and blood in order to finish every essay and have my trifecta of recommenders turn in my letters of praise. My friend who applied as well sent me a text message while I was in soccer practice when she received feedback from the scholarship organizers. She was overjoyed, she was a finalist! If she made it, I thought, I am a shoe-in! However, when I got home that night I opened my electronic mail, I was stunned by the the first five crushing words I read, "We regret to inform you..." That's it, I thought, my only hope of traveling out-of-state to attend college is over. I wept. I had never felt so disappointed in myself. "Was it my grades?" I thought to myself. At school, I could not even look my finalist friend in the eyes, I was a failure. Days passed and again I asked myself if all the hard work I have been doing was for nothing. I was not satisfied with accepting the rejection from that scholarship and sulking. No, I affirmed, I am going to achieve my goals even if I was rejected for a scholarship. I thought about others who had failed and yet went on to do extraordinary things and achieve greatness. I thought of Abraham Lincoln losing his initial political races yet becoming one of our countries highest esteemed President. Albert Einstein's testimony motivated me as well. Even with dyslexia he changed the world with his theories and research. Mental motivation pulled me through my academic trial.
I now write this essay in hopes of acquiring this crucial scholarship knowing that I am not an academic protégé, but I am bright and hard-working. I may not have the highest standardized test score in the universe, but I am dedicated. I do not have the most prestigious schools in the world granting me full scholarships to their school, but I know that I can reach any academic goal I set up for myself if I disregard my failures and endure in my journey for educational excellence. I have been rejected for a scholarship, but so what? I can apply to many more, and I believe I can achieve. At the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, my failures have taught me to overcome my scholastic challenges. It is true that the path of least resistance is a mental rut already made, I can testify to it.
Thank you so much for taking some time out and reading an essay or two, reading them all, skimming the essays, opinions, etc. lol Your feedback is appreciated greatly !!