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"less Hispanics in the Health field" - the field you intend to pursue


martaherrera 2 / 3  
Mar 30, 2011   #1
Can someone please provide me with feed back on my response ! Thank you!

What field do you intend to pursue if you receive this scholarship, and how will the Latino community benefit? *

As I prepare to embark in this journey to College, I made sure to have thought deep and strenuously on what I intend to pursue. I currently attend a high school that offers not only the regular high school courses but as well as technical programs that give students an outlook on what they may want to pursue in the future. Having this opportunity presented to me, I chose to venture into the academy of Health, choosing the Pharmacy strand. Over four years, I have learned the aspects and fundamentals of becoming a successful pharmacy technician. Being exposed to on-site work experience, sparked my interest in the field even more, and leaving me with the reassurance that the field of Pharmacy is what I intend to pursue. Obtaining this scholarship would help my financial struggle in pursuing my dream of becoming a Pharmacist. I would be able to attend the university that offers the best programs and research in the medical field.

Growing up in the Latino community I have seen the great benefit that is presented with being bilingual. Becoming a Pharmacist speaking both English and Spanish gives, not only myself, but the Latino community an advantage. As an intern in a Walgreens Pharmacy, I am faced with Latino customers. I cannot help but notice the sign of relief and comfort the Latino customers express when they see that I can speak Spanish. I feel as if now-a-days, less Hispanics are venturing into the Health field and I see this posing a problem. Only because, it is statistically shown that Hispanics are one of the races to have high risks of health issues. With less Hispanics in the Health field, it makes it harder for the Latino to feel comfortable and reassured with something as important as their health. If there is something that makes me happier it is to be able to assist someone and make sure that all their needs are attended to.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Mar 31, 2011   #2
As I prepare to embark on this journey to college, ---Don't capitalize 'college' unless you're referring to a specific one.

...I made sure to have ...

I currently attend a high school that offers not only the regular high school courses, but also technical programs that give students an outlook on what they may want to pursue in the future.

Being exposed to on-site work experience, sparked my interest in the field even more, and leaving me with the reassurance that the field of Pharmacy is what I intend to pursue.

Becoming a pharmacist---Don't capitalize 'pharmacist.
... speaking both English and Spanish gives, not only myself, but the Latino community an advantage.

Only because, ---no comma here.

...it is statistically shown that Hispanics are ...

If there is something that makes me happy, it is to be able to assist someone and make sure that all their needs are attended to.

:)
imissflorida 1 / 3  
Apr 16, 2011   #3
"that Hispanics are one of the races to have high risks of health issues"

Hispanic isn't a race. Maybe change it to ethnicity.


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