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'idea to simplify the system in more efficient and effective way' - Implementing change or reform


Apr 17, 2016   #1
How have you contributed to solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform?

I have an ability in problem solving, by using computer or an idea to simplify the system but made it more efficient and effective. I focused on data and several factors i found in my workplace. One of my work is , I made a system where a lot of administration can be linked in one application, so when we click one subject or lesson in the application, we can see several features. each features link to other files according to the structure we made. The files could be the score, Lesson Plan, Syllabus and several problems. Maybe the application is not using an advance program, but it works and useful. Other application i made is a test simulation, I named it Tesla ( Test simulation) . This application can be use to test a student using time based test, and it application use only a picture so it will save the paper. The idea of the test is using database that is Microsoft Access and the language i use is Pascal in Delphi 7. So each problem have a time according to the difficulty of the problem. the time showed in program will count down by itself when the application was starting. maybe it will make student nervous and scare, but it will teach them how to use time effectively and not underestimate the problem. In my teaching method, i always focus on concept and practical examples. For example when i teach about Newton Law, i will use equipment that we can see in our daily life such as, broom, table, bucket, even pencil. I will tell them something seem contradiction but its correct according to the law of nature. Why i focused on concept? in my place, the students is enforced to memories the formula, and i realized that its not effective and the student don't have their own life skills but good scores.

fatmajanna 5 / 6 3  
Apr 18, 2016   #2
You should avoid the use of "we" because the question is asking about you, which means you as an individual. You could change the "we" on this part "so when we click one subject or lesson" as the users, and then change the next "we" word, into they.

each features (each means singular)

You should use capital i for I (yourself)

This application can be use used to test a student using time based test,

in my place, the students is enforced to memories memorize the formula, and i realized that its it is not effective and the student(s) don't have their own life skills but good scores.
justivy03 - / 2,377 607  
Apr 19, 2016   #3
Hi Alvius, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be helpful and useful in your writing reference, should you require any further assistance to your writing projects, this is the place you can post it.

Now, going back to your essay, I must say it is quiet a self centered essay, though nothing is bad about it, however, thd idea of writing an essay that answers this prompt is to showcase you as well as your contributions tp the institution you belong, without being me, me, me.

What I suggest is that, you revise your essay, still with the same focus but without the regard to your self, like "with my help the development of a system...", as you can see, it is still your work being highlighted but in a very subtle way.

Also, double check the words that you use in the essay, like "memorize" instead of "memories", this minor details can change the logic or even the idea of the essay, so you have to work on this part too. I hope this helps!


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