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I'm interested in computer field. Scholarship essay.



conheomap 3 / 6  
Feb 25, 2010   #1
List your career area of interest and why you have a desire to work in this particular field.

First of all, thank you!! and please help me with my final essay of the three. I can submit them after this.

I've been working with computer hardware for many years. From building, upgrading, and fixing PCs, it has turned into something that I want to do for the rest of my life. I would want to be working with computer hardware.

Back in the days when I just came to USA from Vietnam, I didn't have a clue about technologies yet. Later on I was introduced to PC from many aspects like school, friends. Then my parents finally could afford us one machine. I was limited accessing the PC because it was the family's PC and everyone got a piece of it. Plus we used phone line to connect to the internet and it interfered with home phone. After high school, I attended community college and saved enough money to buy my own computer. From here my life has changed a lot. Most my money saving was to buy computer parts and upgrade it. I stayed up later than I used to to dig more about computer world. I wanted to try new technologies and new products. All these years I haven't got bored of it yet. As a matter of fact I think it will continue to hook me more with rapidly changing technologies. Whenever going to an electronic store, I always come to the computer section and play with the displays checking out the configurations and testing out new gadgets. All my friends have me upgrade and fix their computers. Sometimes I even called them and asked if they wanted to have their computer checked. My eyes and ears are there for techie conversations. Computers, they don't always go smoothly. Sometimes I get stuck at something and couldn't figure it out. The problem kept me awake at night and hardly could sleep. I'm really interested in computer fields. That's my hobby and also a passion.

plotophyte 4 / 6  
Feb 26, 2010   #2
Fromstarting from building, upgrading, and fixing PCs,it has been turned into
From here my life has been changed a lot
Most of my money savingswas were to buy computer
stayed up later than I used to do toin order to dig up more about the computer world
All these years I haven't got am not bored of it yet.
Whenever going i go to an electronic store, I always come up to the computer section and play with the
All my friends have want me upgrade and fix their computers.
Sometimes, I had even called them and asked ifwhether (it will be more suitable) they wanted to have their computer to be checked
at night and hardly could sleep i could hardly had a sleep.

That is all the grammar error for which i had time for revising. Essay also needs some interpretation of your computing abilities, i think it may add some convenience to what you have learnt.
ryxin - / 1  
Feb 26, 2010   #3
hi,

It sounds your time was really focused on computer..I think you cannot live without computer..
Computer is your life..lolz.. but anyways it seems you are kinda hard working and would great to know that..you are sounds like my brother..He also awake at night but he will sleep at morning coz of his work. He cannot even eat on time..Even me.. lol..if i have something to do in the computer i already forgotten to eat..hahah..computer is my hobby too...^_^
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Feb 26, 2010   #4
Building, upgrading, and fixing PCs, I discovered that working with computer hardware is something that I want to do for the rest of my life. I would want to be working with computer hardware. Add 2 more sentences to this intro paragraph. End the paragraph with a thesis statement that gives a THEME for the essay. Let that last sentence of the first paragraph express the main thee for the whole essay.

Back in the days when I had just come to USA from Vietnam, I didn't have a clue about technologies yet. Later on I was introduced to PC from many aspects through many experiences in school and with friends.

Whenever going to an electronic store, I always come to the computer section and play with the displays checking out the configurations and testing out new gadgets.

Sometimes I even call them and ask if they want to have their computer checked.

:-) good luck, you seem very smart and passionate about this!!!
bilibolobala 1 / 4  
Mar 17, 2010   #5
Hi friend,

The content seems find. From your essay, I can feel your passion for Comp Science. Here are some suggestion on the language.

I was limited accessing -> I had limited access
used phone line -> used the phone line
From here my life has changed a lot -> my life has changed a lot since then
Most my money saving -> most of my money
with rapidly changing technologies -> with the rapid changing technologies
Whenever going to an electronic store -> every time I got to an electronic store
Computers, they don't always go smoothly -> Computers are not always without any problem

That's all. Hope this helps and all the best to you. =)


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