Intro for scholarship essay :My chosen field of study is English...because

"I woke up. I walked to the bus stop..." On October 1st 2008 my friend handed me a gift that changed the rest of my life. It was a 70 page green College Ruled notebook. It eventually became my best friend in which I shared all my secrets, opinions and thoughts that just couldn't be expressed. As I began to write more and more I become more articulate more profound and more honest. I soon filled up those 70 pages and got my second diary and on the first page of my burgundy covered 500 page notebook I wrote about my dream to be a writer. My Chosen field of study is English because I want to tone and harness my skills to someday be able to manipulate language to express my thoughts to the world.

Is it to long
should i save some of this for the body?
Limit 500 words this is already 136

It eventually became my best friend, in which I shared all my secrets, opinions and thoughts, that just couldn't be otherwise expressed. I took the liberty of adding that word. :)

As I began to write, more and more I become more articulate, more profound and more honest.

...and on the first page of my burgundy covered 500 page notebook, I wrote about my dream to become a writer.

Well, it looks like you've chosen the right course of study, you are such an expressive writer. I look forward to reading the rest of your essay.