The key parts of my characters - Chevening leadership 2019

Chevening 2019 Leadership and influencing essay. Omnia Ameer

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

I have exceeded my word count plzz help

The fighter, the hard worker, the energetic, the inspirational, the influencer, the deep learner.
Those words do not just describe key parts in my character, they also are what all who know me would call me. I really do enjoy it when I hear anyone calling me "fighter" or even "geek", this is how I make sure that I'm delivering my message quite well. My message simply says, just have faith in God, believe in yourselves and stick to your dreams, and then God will make the whole universe conspire to serve you and your goals. God says in the Quran, "On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it can bear". Since my ambition had never been easy to achieve and I always got to use the hard ways to proceed through it, I could realise that God had me tough with the huge enough capacity to bear such a long tiring road I have chosen for myself and I'm so proud of this. Hadn't that been, I would have never been that "fighter" or "influencer".

Since I was in high school, I have been dreaming to be somehow a programmer and get a career where I can be contributing in artificial intelligence, automation or embedded systems, in other words, I wanted to help applying technology in every aspect in life and make everything programmable.

Unfortunately, when I was in college after the preparatory year, I was 16 marks below the Communications & Computer section in the Electrical Engineering Department. So, I joined Electrical Power & Machines section. I decided to make the best of the both worlds, I studied well and didn't mind at all learning all the courses because I study for the sake of knowledge and curiosity. I excelled in all programming courses in the college which motivated me to proceed in such a way that I can learn and be trained to start my career in the control and automation field that applies programming to some extent in industrial automation which would make me able to gradually and smoothly shift my career towards what I really wanted. I wanted to share my enthusiasm with everyone in my college and motivate those who have dreams or just want to live out of the box. So, I joined the HR committee in the IEEE's branch in the college and only 6 months later, I was selected to be the committee's head and I set new rules and criteria that are being applied and updated until this moment. Another year later I got promoted to be the branch's treasurer which added a lot to me as well as a leader and a part of the executives.

I started my career as an R&D engineer in a factory, It was a quite good start but I still wanted to learn more. So, 2 years later, I got accepted in a scholarship under the patronage of the Ministry of Communication in the Information Technology Institute to study Industrial Automation. I spent 9 months studying more than 35 courses and I enjoyed the programming courses ( MATLAB, C & Python) and the AI course. And now it is the time for one more step towards my goal and it's the one I'm waiting the most because I have a chance to study what I love in the country I love the most where I can find that mix between history, modernity and cultural diversity. This will make

@omnia_ameer
Hi there. Welcome to the forum, dear! I wish you the best of luck in your Chevening application. I hope that this provides you with sufficient insight and feedback to help you improve your chances.

Firstly, the first part of the essay was put-together. I only suggest that you evade the excessive usage of quotation marks as it somehow clutters the overall view of the text. Stick with bold and concise remarks and interpretations rather than having multiple viewpoints scattered in one inch of text. I would also recommend that you better your structure through a stricter use of punctuation. If you are able to do both of these for the first paragraph, the transition to the latter portions would be much better.

Balance out your writing as much as possible. While it is great to incorporate your personal thoughts and opinions regarding a chunk of text, it certainly does not do you good in the long haul because you would lack space that's supposedly dedicated for a more fundamentalist writing approach.

thanks a million, maria
after several editing and updates there is my final essay:

The fighter, the hard ...
Those words are what all who know me would call me. I really enjoy it when I hear anyone calling me "fighter", this is how... My message... believe in yourself and ...

In practicing to be a leader, I was the head of the HR committee in IEEE's branch in my university. I set new rules and criteria that are being applied and updated until this moment that also governed the concepts of enthusiasm, creativity and team work which made a great jump in our activity's progress and could effectively raise the awareness of the importance of extracurricular activities among the whole college's students. Another year later I got promoted to be the branch's treasurer which added a lot to me by exploring new potentials in different roles.

When I started my career, whenever I got to implement any project, I have been blessed with opportunities of being the leader of a team of technicians who were in different stages of age and experience. However, I could successfully lead them towards finishing our projects with good quality and on time with treating each one of them professionally in a way that suits their age, experience and character, which made me one of the most favourited engineers for them to work with and could destroy the stereotypical image in the minds of the board of directors that female engineers couldn't take on leadership or strenuous tasks.

During the 9 months of my diploma's scholarship at ITI, I was known for spreading positive energy, helping everyone, do everything to maintain the team spirit and friendship among my classmates to make wonderful memories, and being the most active student in class. My professors liked that I study for the sake of knowledge rather than achieving high scores and always keep discussing them in what I read in the references.

Afterwards, I offered one of my college professors my help to improve the academic content of some courses to match the labour market's demands and to share with him everything I learnt in my years of experience. He welcomed my offer. And nowadays, we're scheduling fixed times to meet and discuss any needed plans to improve the courses for undergrads.

The key is belief, what makes a leader is believing in God, his/herself, his/her goals, change, improvement and every step he/she takes to get out of the box. And to be an influencer, you have to always keep radiating positive vibes and always take an extra mile. I am confident, and I have a strong belief that this wonderful scholarship will sharpen my skills to higher heights to prove that female engineers are as strong and clever as male engineers and can prove themselves everywhere.

@omnia_ameer

Your essay is good but I believe it fails to give the impact that you would desire to portray, I think you should add some examples related to a professional challenge that you solved using your leadership skills. or any thing you did to help underpriveleged people. I hope you are getting my point, your examples fail to show the impact of your work on community.

Dear Omnia,

Firstly, good luck in your chevening application.

My main advice for you is to be "to the point", please refrain from using too many words of the same meaning.

For example, in the first paragraph, start by choosing on Leadership skill and say why you think it is important.

Then in the second part list an example, or two, of how you succeeded in implementing this skill in your professional and/or educational capacity.

The third paragraph should be for conclusion or result

By this you'll answer the question perfectly..