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A leader must be able to enlighten the future with new ideas and transform these for a better future



Hadeer 5 / 13  
Oct 29, 2017   #1

leadership skills essay - chevening scholarship



i would really appreciate if you could evaluate my leadership and influence essay, whether for the grammar or the overall content

A leader must be able to enlighten the future with new ideas and to transform these ideas to shape a new world of tomorrow, it challenge and process,

My leadership skills started developing since I was a child. I was the leader of the team that represented my school at events. At‏ college, I was the elected president of my class, More, I was among speakers in the "Egyptian Universities Youth Week" event.

After my graduation my leadership skills developed, due to my work as a lecturer. It is a big challenge to become a leader who help the students discover their potentials, and direct them into the right direction.

There are several incidents that pushed forward my leadership skills, especially the ones relevant to my students' graduation project. During introducing the project to the students, I thought that the best way to interest the students in the project was to thoroughly engage them in discussions. I paid attention to their ideas and carefully watched how their thoughts developed. I was always there when they needed help. Surprisingly enough, my strategy proved to be beneficial as the students achieved great success.

All of the students handed in their projects except for three students. This motivated me to support these students. I spoke to them, I make positive relationships trying to gain their trust and inducing their inner strength. As a leader, it is important to fundamentally change something in the life of people. Unexpectedly, they managed to submit excellent projects.

After the students had presented their projected, I noticed that their projects lacked a practical experience, I did not have a plan to solve this, but I had a vision. After that the solution I saw to this problem was to train the students at architecture companies. This training was the practical part that complemented their academic education. I suggested this idea to my team of the teaching staff, after discussing the idea they showed agreement, I introduced the idea to the dean. It was not an easy thing to convince him to make the practice part of the project evaluation. However, I managed to convince him.

I wanted to take a leading part in the implementation of my suggestion. I made advantage of my work in a consulting engineering company. It took a lot of time to convince my boss for such a thing. A person can be exposed to legal charges, if s/he makes a mistake in the construction field, my boss was convinced when I persuaded him of the students' potentials. I was afraid of being responsible for such a mission, but I trusted my intuition and my skills. My students and skills did not fail me, they were responsive to the mission under my leadership. They were so efficient that some of them were hired at the company. I was happy as I was able make a difference.

Its journey of my own leadership discover, I have become more confident in and dependent on my leadership skills.

Martson_Putra 2 / 5  
Oct 30, 2017   #2
@Hadeer
I think you have to straight explain your leadership ability from the fourth paragraph. merge the last sentence of the third paragraph into the fouth paragraph. in the fifth paragraph, I think you have to omit sentences "This motivated...." and "As a leader, it is important..." try to be explained in detail about leadership ability.
Mudinero 4 / 9  
Oct 30, 2017   #3
@Hadeer
I must say that you have demonstrated an applicable and appreciable leadership and influencing skills as a lecturer. You should maintain these skills and keep it on this professional settings (as a lecturer) consequently, there is no need for your second paragraph emphasizing on your leadership position from childhood and at college. Without the second paragraph, your essay still carries the required professional leadership and influencing skills the prompt requires so, omit it.

Consider this grammatical structure....
In your 6th paragraph '... the teaching staff who welcomed it, and also I introduced the idea to the dean'.

Take time to go through your write up again for proper punctuation, you missed a period here and there.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15458  
Oct 30, 2017   #4
Hadeer you are mixing your leadership and influencing essay with a networking essay. That is why the essay sounds extremely well to others here. It is actually a very bad essay. It requires a total rewrite in order to create a tighter focus on what matters in the essay, the leadership and influencing skill. There are some things that you can do to improve the essay though. Let me see if I can point you in the right direction.

Use the lecturer experience that you spoke of here. Only instead of discussing the two sets of students, focus only on the 3 problem students. Talk about what kind of students they were in your class and show how you helped them to focus their energies in a proper manner through your leadership. Then discuss the problem with their project and highlight how you influence, not not engaged, them in such a manner that the were able to successfully complete their work. That is the extent of the leadership and influencing discussion that you should be presenting in this essay. Everything else may be useful in the other prompt requirements depending upon the requirements of the prompt.
OP Hadeer 5 / 13  
Oct 30, 2017   #5
thank you for your valuable comment , pleas i need more explanation for that '' highlight how you influence, not not engaged, them in such a manner that the were able to successfully complete their work'' and also ''Kind of student'' you mean according to their academic potential, qualifications and also their weakness or their personal one that relevant to their character


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